Sister using pronoun they...

[Merida83]

To describe my 7 week old dd!
AIBU to be pissed off and to insist she refers to my DD by female only pronouns.

Did you ask her why she is doing it? Is it deliberate?

Eh?

Seriously?

Is she out and out refusing to use she on ideological grounds or is it just how she normally speaks about babies?

DH called PFB "it" for a couple of weeks.

Remind her you did not have twins.

Is she some sort of sanctimonious activist?

At least she doesn’t use “it” which is a surprisingly common pronoun for babies 😵

(I meant your sister, not your DD, for the avoidance of doubt).

Sadly yes I am deadly serious.

Yes it is very deliberate.

And yes it is based on ideological grounds.

What ideological grounds?

Tell her to fuck herself and if she cant respect your DD and your wishes then she can forgo the relationship

Vlad - that sums her up yo a T

Perhaps she's seeing double? Suggest a trip to the optician?

Are you worried your DD will grow up to be a man?

Mama - sadly that will be the next step.

Really glad it's not just me being all PFB

I wouldn’t give her the attention she very obviously wants. Ignore every time and. Continue to refer to her and she.

You can't "insist" what words she uses, especially if she's doing it for ideological reasons. So you have to decide if this is important enough for you to stop her seeing your daughter. I know "NC" is done at the drop of a hat on this website, but in real life we have to be a little more flexible.

Julie - not worried no. But she is a she. They only person who would get to decide that she is not is dd herself once she is grown.

I’d be more annoyed about her using ‘they’ for me tbh. Babies don’t care, and to a large extent, sex doesn’t matter until an older age. I’d be annoyed if she refused to acknowledge that I am female, especially when you’ve just gone through something so intensely feminine as pregnancy and birth.

Ideological - in what sense?

She believes that gender is a social construct and as such does not wish to assign dd a gender, until she herself does so.

If she was referring to herself or her dc then I would respect it fully but not when my views are so very different and she knows this.

Remind her that 'she' is a pronoun used for females of all species and that is what your baby is.

Genders IS a social construct, but sex is not, and "she" is the pronoun associated with the female sex.

Gender is a social construct. Sex isn't. Your child's sex has been identified and therefore as a female she should be referred to as a she. While there is something to be said for not forcing assumptions onto a child due to their sex. Calling them 'they' will not help that because everyone will view her for what she is anyway, a female.