Sister using pronoun they...

[Merida83]

To describe my 7 week old dd!
AIBU to be pissed off and to insist she refers to my DD by female only pronouns.

She believes that gender is a social construct and as such does not wish to assign dd a gender, until she herself does so.

Hmm. Why does that sound like she plans to observe dd and then auntie will inform you of dd's 'chosen' gender according to stereotyping dd's choices of toys and clothes, probably well before she's 3? And will then pressure you to accept it. (I bet she's hoping like hell it's anything but boring old 'cis')

I rather think the SIL shot theirself in their foot with the pink clothes.

Shows the depth of their thinking on issues of gender, i.e. none.

You could film DD ripping a headband off her head and post it on her wall asking if she thinks this means DD is a "boy" as per that gender "expert" from America.

the next time she visits, to dress your baby girl in head to toe, disgusting barbie/bubblegum pink, purely to piss her off

exactly what I would do, every single time. I would also gush on how typically "girly" my baby looks and behaves. Endless fun to have.

Transactivists love gender stereotypes. They just think that if you like them you must magically change your biological sex. Under trans ideology it is not acceptable to like pink and be a boy.

"They" is plural. Your sister's grammar is appalling.

Please can you quote the transphobia posts?

What the transphobic types seem to choose to ignore is that it is their attitudes that permeate throughout the thread that is referred to. You cannot hide behind a lack of blatant ‘I hate trans’ in a thread as justification.
There IS a monumental level of trans hatred on Mumsnet that thankfully is not reflected in the real world.

I don't know what these acronyms means.

Anyway, the real problem is your sister not respecting that you are the parent.

Foozle I thought that, but I’m dyslexic and my grammar can be quite bad so I questioned myself.

What the transphobic types seem to choose to ignore is that it is their attitudes that permeate throughout the thread that is referred to. You cannot hide behind a lack of blatant ‘I hate trans’ in a thread as justification

So it's operating at homeopathic levels. How very convenient.

It's a four-page thread, so if poster comes on accusing others, they should be willing to be specific.

would also gush on how typically "girly" my baby looks and behaves. Endless fun to have.

You could have so much fun.

Or would that be cruel? How old is she? She sounds very immature.

I don't think MN is transphobic.

I think it's more a case of posters jumping on a thread to should 'transphobic'.
They seem to think if they say it enough times then it will make it true.

Backwards logic.

to shout, not should

A baby grow with "TERF in Training" would be great.

In fact, MN is one of the few places women can still safely discuss it.
and that's what certain people don't like.

There's no surer way to kill a thread than start accusing people of being transhphobic.
that's what they want.
No discussion.
Ever.

I'm pleased that MN hasn't caved.

Sorry all I am really quite new to all this, what is a TERF?

It’s only a thread killer because calling out the trans haters leaves them exposed

I am genuinely baffled by the gender issues that are currently the cause of so much controversy on here and in the wider media. Some people have gender dysphoria, which is a clinical condition, but it is relatively rare.

Why can't we just accept that being male or female (which, absent rare intersex conditions, is determined before birth and cannot be changed) does not constrain us to dress or behave in a certain way, or have a particular sexuality?

it’s only a thread killer because calling out the trans haters leaves them exposed

How is agreeing with a mother who wants her beautiful little newborn baby girl to be referred to as 'she' and 'her' being transphobic?
I think you're reading way too much into things.

She sounds like a knob, tell her to do one.

The OP reminds me of my transgender relative, who (a few months) after every birth has got drunk and ring me, demanding that I respect the gender each child chooses, and embrace their identity etc as they love X child so very much, and it's been so hard for them.....
And it becomes a call all about them as usual.
And the expressed love for each of my children has never actually got as far as wanting to meet any of them. Or send them birthday cards. Or even Christmas cards, let alone presents. So not that much then.

I honestly wonder what parallel universe some people live in. Transphobia involves denying the right of people to present themselves and live their lives in any way they see fit. It is not transphobia to say that gender is fluid but sex is a biological reality. I've never yet heard anybody tell me why that incontrovertible fact is equivalent to hating somebody who wishes to present as a woman. It's really telling that all people ever do on these threads is throw wild accusations of transphobia around then refuse to elaborate any further. They never, ever do.