Sister using pronoun they...

[Merida83]

To describe my 7 week old dd!
AIBU to be pissed off and to insist she refers to my DD by female only pronouns.

Are you worried your DD will grow up to be a man?

There’s always one.

Fozzle Deciding that we have an imutable sex and that any expression after that is just personality, would stop the current trans agenda overnight. Hence all the discussion of gender stereotypes to signify 'true self' or trans children. Nobody seems to be able to give a definition of woman without running in circles or using crass stereotypes. Except for those of us who know that woman means adult human female.
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How old is your sister? Is she at university? Because she'll more than likely grow tired of this nonsense about 6 months after finishing her studies.

Tell her to stop being a muppet and largely ignore her nonsense.

I agree MN is very transphobic and often it is the strident tones or frequency of the posts that gets this across, not the content specifically.

I am not transphobic in any way

Careful, peng, your halo’s slipping 🙄

If she believes that gender is a social construct then by her own identification as a female is down to socialisation. In which case you should start calling your DSis “they” because she’s identifying with something that isn’t real.

Tbh i wouod ignore her request. This you child and you will chose how to call her.

I wouod though make a point about gender and refuse any stereotyped pinky clothes etc... on the ground that gender is a social construct and you want to raise your dd as free as possible form those constructs (impossible to do so completely of course).

Tell her that you are offended at her insensitivity and that your baby currently identifies with he/him and could she please not presume.

Then the next time she says "he/him" tell her you are offended at her insensitivity and that your baby currently identifies with they/them and could she please be sensitive enough to check first.

Then the next time she says "they/them" tell her you are offended at her insensitivity and that your baby currently identifies with she/her and could she please get it right.

Repeat ad infinitum or else suggest at some point that she do a gender-awareness course as she is very insensitive and this may be harming your baby.

It’s only a thread killer because calling out the trans haters leaves them exposed

I couldn't give two hoots to be honest. I'm not exposed, I stand by everything I say and there's many more worse things to be called than transphobic, especially when it's just being used to attempt to shut down debate. It's just such a simplistically obvious tactic.

@DayManChampionOfTheSun TERF is used as an insult to women mainly. When used by trans activists its usually followed by the words die in a fire or similar.. It stands for Trans exclusive radical feminist.

It's applied to anyone from actual radical feminists to those who understand biology or think women and girls shouldn't have to share their spaces and sports with men who say they're women. A surprising number of these men retain all male genitalia.

wowimamazing
Please report any transphobic posts as Mumsnet will remove them promptly.
Of course, you could be mistaking transphobia for open and respectful discussion?
To be fair, transactivists have very successfully silenced all debate until very recently so it is a bit surprising to suddenly see women (and men) being brave and openly discussion and challenging the misogyny behind many of the pronouncements, including much of the nonsense about language as described by the OP. .
OP - hope you're enjoying your daughter and that she grows up to be a strong and feisty woman

It’s only a thread killer because calling out the trans haters leaves them exposed

Except no-one has been called out, have they? Just as the vague generalisation about this thread having a good deal of transphobia on it also goes unsubstantiated.

TERF is an insult for women who disagree that women have historically been oppressed because of their bodies.

Transactivists prefer to see woman as a feeling of submission and femininity.

Nude statues of womrn are "TERF statues" because they don't "centre" trans.

Supporters like OP's sister is probably one of those who say "trans to the front or it's not my feminism" and decry any mention of pregnancy/FGM/abortion/menstruation as trans exclusionary.

Honestly, whenever someone comes on these threads and accuses people of transphobia they can never
a) give specific examples of transphobia
b) stick around the actually debate the issues.

Ever.

They just plop down a 'transphobic' and the fuck off again.

I've two friends who are trans women. They would both say a baby girl is a she and a baby boy is a he and anything else is PC bulls*1t.

FlaviaAlbia

Thank you. I think the lack of ability to ask questions without being called a so-called TERF is quite frightening. I’m nervous about the impact on safe spaces for women and especially in relation to having access to biologically female medical professionals. I don’t see how wanting to know what impact this will have is transphobic.

my sister is referred to as she. But her feeling is that is acceptable as its her choosing

Well.....quite simply who cares what the fuck she thinks?
Start calling her 'he' or 'it' or 'thingy'.........no need to respect her choices if she won't respect yours......

Soapbox I think that's spot on.

I wonder if this has all arisen in recent years because society has become so much more commodotised these days; people are expected to be "brands" and to fit within neat little definitions.

I had a relatively privileged upbringing and education(I'm nearly 50), and I and my peers seemed to be under much less pressure to fit sexual, physical and social stereotypes, than many young people today. I wonder whether there is a socioeconomic aspect to this, too. It's a huge generalisation, but those of my acquaintance who are economically and socially privileged, seem to feel little or no pressure to justify who they are and how their lifestyle and sexual preferences should be labelled.

To be fair, transactivists have very successfully silenced all debate until very recently so it is a bit surprising to suddenly see women (and men) being brave and openly discussion and challenging the misogyny behind many of the pronouncements

I'm sensing that the tide is turning actually, as some of the more ludicrous demands are made, not just here on MN but all over. I'm just hoping it swings back before actual legislation is put in place.

Are you seriously saying Peng that it isn't the content of the posts that is transphobic? So what is it? You think it's possible to identify somebody as transphobic without them actually saying a single transphobic thing?!! That's the kind of tactic that sounds like it comes straight from the stasi rulebook!!!!!

Blimey, your dsis sounds about as deep as a fucking puddle, what with spouting off about gender being a social construct (been watching the Matrix, I reckon!) and then buying her pink clothes! Hilarious!

I think even saying "er, hold on a minute" during any discussion surrounding trans demands is enough to be labelled transphobic tbh, so you can see why it's a conclusion so easily arrived at by some.