To expect payment for ticket .............

[Guardsman18]

Help needed please!
Was very close to friend for years. She's rubbish with money but was good at spending mine! We don't see each other so much, but still chat and I went to her birthday bash a few weeks ago.

It took me a while, but the penny finally dropped and I no longer 'lend' her money. (Think 'loan' for £1000 seven years ago and have only had £200 ish back).

There is a band that we have always wanted to see - I know I sound about 10!), so we agreed that I would get the tickets on my card and she would reimburse me after Glastonbury - very expensive!

Here's the thing - tomorrow is the day we go and I think (know?) that she won't have the money.

WIBU to just not go with her? Am meant to be picking her up at 12 pm.

So she's gone to a wedding and no doubt bought a present and is spending money on drinks etc while she owes you near 1k???

I know you're not being unkind and I'm not offended. I wouldn't have posted on here if I thought I wasn't going to be told some home truths.
I have got myself into these situations because I've been a twat!

I can put my hand on my heart and honestly say that because of her past performance with owing me money etc, I would have had the ticket money. Well, I was wrong - again! (Assuming she won't have it).

I would tell her you have no money for the hotel, food, drinks, petrol or anything so if she wants you to take her she HAS to pay you back a fair bit of what she owes.

And if she doesn't at least you can try and sell her ticket.

Not going to happen. IMO

Want a road trip littlechous?! You'll have to transfer the cash though NOW!

Go, go and sell her ticket please.
My gig was far less cool than Jay Kay it was Harry Styles but I love him and it was my 40th birthday present to myself but I honestly had a brilliant time on my own, I spent a while in the bar having a few drinks and chatting randomly, then loved his performance and the teenage girls people either side of me were really sweet.

What's not going to happen?

Still no reply btw

OP I really feel for you. It reminds me of a "friend" I had. We had been close for years and when I learned how to drive, my parents let me use their car to get to university. We both ended up going to the same university (and lived at home with our parents) and I would always be taking her to and from university. I didn't mind as I needed to go anyway but she never did offer to give me fuel money. Sometimes you need an event to make you stand up for yourself, this is your perfect opportunity to do so.

My time came when I was woken up at 2am in the morning with a phone call from my "friend" demanding that I pick her up from the train station and take her home! This was after a night out that she had not thought to invite me to and I had no idea about. I said no and she has ignored me ever since. This person sounds like a user I am afraid and not a true friend.

If it was in Glasgow I'd come and pay for her ticket!

Love Harry too - and I'm older than you!

Right, you have seen the light and there is no point dwelling on the past. Hold onto this new confidence and run with it. Tell your 'friend' no money no trip. Full stop. Then, if you do or don't go tell her you want the £800 back as its gone on too long. Even if its a standing order for £50 a month. Any excuses are her taking the piss.

I feel for you, I was that walk over, I don't even want to think about what I've lost, but better a time comes you wise up than not at all. Go for it OP! You will feel better for it in the long run

@coffeelover - this is going to be the end of a 'beautiful friendship' too I feel. And yes, it does feel like my time to assert myself.

Glasgow isn't far ....!!

Haha if I didn’t have the DSDs here I’d be on it like a long shot!
Plus, i would even PING you the money and maybe even buy you your drinks as a thank you for arranging 😂

You've had the ticket since March, it's now 8 months later & she hasn't paid!!

If it was just the £54 & you really wanted to see them & would have driven yourself there & back I might have said to just stand it once last time.

If you'd prefer to go by train/bus-look into it & tell her that that is what is happening.

If you do decide to drive, tell her that you will not be paying for her hotel room.

Ah, sorry OP.

I bet she'll keep you dangling...

Scenario 1: If you sell the tickets and not go, she'll tell you that she could not respond as she was at a wedding, and you should KNOW she'd paid you> She had all the money right there and then to give you, plus some the unpaid loan. Wow, aren't you a fool now?!

Scenario 2: You turn up at her house, such a shame she forgot to go to the cash point. At the petrol pump, such a shame, she forgot her credit card. At the restaurant: She has no money but that is ok, as she just won't eat. Wait, really? You'd offer to pay her dinner? that is so kind. You will never see the ticket money, or the petrol/restaurant money/hotel money ever. Was, aren't you a fool now?

Scenario 3: You send flouncy's mail: ‘Hi x
"I just want to confirm that you will have the cash (£xx) for the ticket tomorrow when I pick you up. I’m low on funds, so will use this as my spending money. I’ll also need £x for petrol. If you don’t have it then no bother, but I’ll be selling the tickets on to someone else who’s interested. Let me know by 8pm please, otherwise I’ll assume you can’t make it.’

I'd go for scenario 3

I bet if you go for scenario 3, she won't reply until after 8pm and act all hurt/do the 'I can't believe you actually thought I wouldn't pay boswollacks!'

All this advice is great. I have looked at the train and there is a very affordable train ticket. I love a train journey. Something to read, eat, couple of beers. Bliss!

Right - still no reply. I want to cancel the hotel, but if I do that and go, where can I stay then?!

Are you all saying then that if I haven't had a reply soon then I txt saying that as I haven't heard from her then we won't be going?

Good luck op x

My friends and I go to concerts, plays etc a lot. Usually we take it in turns to buy the tickets but nobody is paid back until the day of the concert. It works for us.
But as this friend has form for these type of shenanigans I can see where you're coming from. Please don't not go and miss out on what would certainly be a great night. Just say there has been a change of plan and take another friend. She doesn't own the ticket so really can't complain.

You know her don't you Appu?!

Not BU but try and sell the tickets x

play her at her own game.

If she has not replied by 8 or 9, makes alternative plans.

Don't tell her or anything, go off the radar (switch off phone and FB until you have left and are on the train).

If she says: why did you not pick me up?!

Say:" oh! I thought it was off! You had not paid for the ticket and never got back to my text! So naturally I assumed you were no longer going! Sorry, LOL, what am I like. haha. Shame you missed it. It was amazing"

That's what I'd (hope I'd) do!

Play the Cf at their own CF game. Be all blithe and light and cheery with it.

Can you not get late train home afterwards?

Would you be prepared to go alone?

If so, no need to canel the hotel!