To expect payment for ticket .............

[Guardsman18]

Help needed please!
Was very close to friend for years. She's rubbish with money but was good at spending mine! We don't see each other so much, but still chat and I went to her birthday bash a few weeks ago.

It took me a while, but the penny finally dropped and I no longer 'lend' her money. (Think 'loan' for £1000 seven years ago and have only had £200 ish back).

There is a band that we have always wanted to see - I know I sound about 10!), so we agreed that I would get the tickets on my card and she would reimburse me after Glastonbury - very expensive!

Here's the thing - tomorrow is the day we go and I think (know?) that she won't have the money.

WIBU to just not go with her? Am meant to be picking her up at 12 pm.

What’s really nice to hear is that you had a great time with your friend and that there was no resentment on her side that could have spoilt your evening. I think you will keep the friendship and probably see your money some way down the line too. A lovely update!

Loyalty isn’t about how you behave when your friends with someone it’s about how you behave when they’ve wronged you. You did the right thing not leaving her stranded. I hope you manage to broach the subject of getting all your money back. Small successes are still successes you’ve sent her the clear sign that the tide is turning

Well, thank you 3 pp's. Glad it can be left it on a positive note!

My original post was to ask about the trip. I only mentioned the £800 for context. I was so determined that I wasn't funding this trip and I haven't. People were so cross with me about the £800, but that wasn't the issue on Friday. I dread to think what the 6 or 7 deleted posts were! Better I don't know.

Friend is in a much better place now than 7 years ago, so I will definitely be broaching the subject of the £800 very soon. I am also having my £20 this afternoon!

Don't let other people's behaviour stop you being a good person. You did a good thing not leaving her stranded and you took the step you wanted to wrt not funding this trip.

Don't let other people's behaviour stop you being a good person. You did a good thing not leaving her stranded and you took the step you wanted to wrt not funding this trip.

Don't let other people's behaviour stop you being a good person. You did a good thing not leaving her stranded and you took the step you wanted to wrt not funding this trip.

Sorry for the multiple posts

Thank you Hashi. At least the multiple posts were positive!

The deleted posts were people calling you a liar because you said "home", everyone else managed to understand you meant home for that night - the hotel.

Well done ☺️👍🏻

And good luck for the future in both being paid back and your friendship.
I have a feeling you won’t be a pushover anymore 👍🏻

I think people are cross with your 'friend' for taking advantage of your kind nature not you op!
I understand if you want to call the thread a day but if you are up for updating it would be interesting to hear if you get your £20 back this afternoon. I hope I'm proved wrong and you do. And maybe even broach the subject of a payment schedule for the rest?

Glad you had a great time and your friend paid her way. Can you ask her to pay a set amount each month say £100?

Hope you get the £20

Me? A liar? Bloody hell it was exhausting enough laying out the truth, never mind making things up!

There was confusion about strange things I thought. The hair cut for example - when we weren't going at 12 pm, I rang hairdresser and asked if she could 'do' my hair as I was going out shortly. She said that if I came at 12.15, she would do it for me - it was her lunch break. Not everyone has 4 hour appointments for colours and foils!

Then the train - you have my house - friends house - train station. Why would I walk to the train station with overnight bag only to have to walk up a steep hill on my return when I could leave the car in the station car park. I leave my house, call for friend - she doesn't have money, I go on train. If she does have money, we drive as we had agreed. Train was £58, petrol £10 each.

Then! - the phone call. Why wouldn't I just ring friend when I was lost.? No mystery there - phone was in the hotel.

I'm baffled, but still glad I came on here and took the advice to stand my ground on payment for this trip.

No £20 as yet, but am going to ring her in five!

Well I believe you Op, sometimes people seem desperate to make up a mystery when there isn't one.

This is why I'm so scared of starting a thread in case people get totally over invested (I do!) and demand updates/decide I'm lying. I'm not mentally strong enough ;)

I'm glad you had a nice time OP

Glad you came back to update, OP . I am certain that you will be able to make a written plan together of her returning the money she owes you so it is official, with dates and particularly an end date when it is all to be refunded 100%. I don't need to tell you not to get yourself in this pickle again , I think you have learned your lesson for sure.

Gad JayKay was brilliant, I must make arrangements to see him myelf sometime .

Did you get your £20 back OP?!

I'd love to know about the £20 as well. I'm hoping the op got it but doubtful.

I think you’re facilitating her attitude that it’s ok not to pay you back soon - or ever. She owes you £800. Why would you be encouraging her to spend money going to a concert before she’s cleared such a massive debt to you?

I agree with this. If I owed a friend 800 quid, no way would I spend money on a concert. I'd pay off a chunk off the debt. The piss-taking is doubled up by actually going with the friend, and then spirals out of control completely when I have to ask the friend to lend me more money for transport / hotel. I'm not sure this is much of a victory other than that no more money has been thrown away by the OP, assuming she gets the 20quid back.

In my humble opinion you should have found someone else to take, not talked to your "friend" at all about it. Then when you are enroute (with someone who cares enough to pay their way) and your "friend" calls you, you can say oh yeah "sorry I needed some money so I had to take someone else. It's gonna be great, sorry You'll miss it! She's sure to understand as that's how she behaves. 😂

Don't be mean to the OP. She's done lots better than in the past. I hope it continues.

A frank chat with your friend seems called for, OP.
How about saying "I know it must be bothering you that the £800 is still owing. Let's set up a regular payment every month for that."
And don't accept less than £50 per month.

A small thought - the transfer came through in 10 mins.
So the cash machine worked fine once there was actually some money in the friend's account.

I dont believe the friend really used the cashpoint at all, she just said "it didnt work, youll have to pay for me".

I think the OP has done amazing for the first time of standing up for something with her friend. I'm really bad with friends, do anything for them and don't get back! Instead of judging her for the bits that don't seem right, congratulate her on doing so well for the firs time, one step at a time OP 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻