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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect payment for ticket .............

789 replies

Guardsman18 · 03/11/2017 13:08

Help needed please!
Was very close to friend for years. She's rubbish with money but was good at spending mine! We don't see each other so much, but still chat and I went to her birthday bash a few weeks ago.

It took me a while, but the penny finally dropped and I no longer 'lend' her money. (Think 'loan' for £1000 seven years ago and have only had £200 ish back).

There is a band that we have always wanted to see - I know I sound about 10!), so we agreed that I would get the tickets on my card and she would reimburse me after Glastonbury - very expensive!

Here's the thing - tomorrow is the day we go and I think (know?) that she won't have the money.

WIBU to just not go with her? Am meant to be picking her up at 12 pm.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 03/11/2017 13:32

Guardsman, it was bizarre as I was given it by the guy I'd bought my ticket from, I met him at the venue so no chance to take a friend, someone was looking for a ticket, I chanced my arm and said I'd sell one for £100 (face value £50ish), and she took it!

rachelandmike77 · 03/11/2017 13:33

I would either take someone else & enjoy yourself or sell the tickets, post on Twitter now that you’re selling them & the venue and you’ll hopefully find someone

But yes you fucked up by buying her a ticket in the first place as it doesn’t sound like she intends to pay you back. I wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot about the concert either

Jaxhog · 03/11/2017 13:34

Phone/text her - no money, no ticket. And go without her if necessary.

HarryPottersBroomstick · 03/11/2017 13:34

No I don't think UABU. It's a bit cutting off your nose to spite your face ish but it will make her realise you are serious and there are consequences for her not paying up. If she cuts off the friendship then it doesn't sound a great loss. She's taking the P big style and real friends don't do that.

She clearly has money if she can afford to go to Glastonbury, I went almost 20 years ago and it was a fortune then! You're just not a priority on her payment list.

Appuskidu · 03/11/2017 13:35

What do you intend to do if she doesn't pay? Take someone else or sell the tickets?

When you ring her, tell her what you are going to do.

LIZS · 03/11/2017 13:36

How does she justify going to Glastonbury etc rather than paying back her loans? Are you expecting her to pay towards petrol too? Sounds like she plays her friends to fund a lifestyle she can't really afford. Don't count her as a friend, write off the money and move on.

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 03/11/2017 13:37

I do appreciate your replies - it's really helping me, so thanks.

I am nice! - I have done a lot of soul searching regarding relationships etc. I don't intend to just not turn up. (She's busy today so can't ring until later.) It's the possible confrontation when I say that I'm not going without the ticket money.

OP posts:
Fishface77 · 03/11/2017 13:37

Erm your picking her up?
So why would you pay for half the petrol if your driving??
Any redeeming features?

BenLui · 03/11/2017 13:38

Guardsman nothing wrong with a little confrontation. It’s character building.

You are completely and totally in the right here.

HelenUrth · 03/11/2017 13:38

Think maybe you need to say it in advance - you could tell her you're stuck for cash and if she doesn't pay today, you're going to have to sell the other ticket (don't refer to it as her ticket!).

Then it's up to her - if she whinges afterwards, you had given her an opportunity which she didn't take.
But if you drop her at the last minute she can whine that you're so unfair, she would have given you the money etc.

FizzyGreenWater · 03/11/2017 13:38

You are not being AT ALL unreasonable to nail her on this one.

You've already said you need the money for petrol, right?

So - text or call again and say that you need the money. No point in asking her to transfer it as she'll have a million excuses why that can't happen - so say again, will you have the cash, on the doorstep, because I'm going to need it to get petrol straight from your house. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume we're no longer going.

If she contacts you with excuses about having it next week/on the way home/anything, just say sorry no can do. And go alone or with someone or sell on the tickets if you can.

If she says yes no problem, and you get to the door and that cash isn't handed straight to you, then you just say, ok, well we can't go. I said I needed the money and I wasn't joking, you'd better get out - see you soon. And drive to the venue yourself and see above!

Either way, cut her off. Can't BELIEVE she owes you £800!!!! She's a nasty user.

FilledSoda · 03/11/2017 13:39

If she doesn't answer you today I'd not contact her again then the ball is in her court.
She knows the score

Leeds2 · 03/11/2017 13:39

I would text her now and say that if she doesn't have the money, you are going to sell the ticket elsewhere so could she please confirm that she has it. If she hasn't got back to you by, say, midnight text again and say you presume she doesn't have the money and you won't be calling for her. If she says she has the money, and you turn up and find that she hasn't, then I wouldn't take her (saying you are going to try and sell at the venue). If you don't find out until you get to the venue, then I think you try and sell and tell her you will give her a lift back if she is prepared to wait.

Appuskidu · 03/11/2017 13:40

I have messaged her asking for the money so I can pay my half of petrol etc. No reply as yet.

Who is driving?

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 03/11/2017 13:41

Definitely don't give her the ticket if she hadn't paid you

IHaveBrilloHair · 03/11/2017 13:43

Tell her you can't afford to go otherwise as you need her money to pay for transport/drinks etc, then if she doesn't pay she can't say you were mean to go without her.
(Then go anyway, sell her ticket and don't tell her)

mickeysminnie · 03/11/2017 13:44

Ring her!

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 03/11/2017 13:45

Ok. I'll txt now to make sure she has the money. It's not just the ticket, it's petrol (my car), food, drinks, hotel......

Wish me luck!

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 03/11/2017 13:48

I would do as Leeds2 has suggested.

Your friend knows you are a walkover, and unless you assert yourself she will keep on taking advantage. She isn't a friend, she is a user.

MrsFezziwig · 03/11/2017 13:50

So she’s still going to owe you for petrol?

LagunaBubbles · 03/11/2017 13:51

It's not just the ticket, it's petrol (my car), food, drinks, hotel......

Er why would you pay all this for her anyway, regardless if she had given you the ticket money or not? Confused

Appuskidu · 03/11/2017 13:51

Who paid for the hotel?

justkeeponsmiling · 03/11/2017 13:55

Wow your friend is a MASSIVE pisstaker! YANBU!

Original poster
Guardsman18 · 03/11/2017 13:55

I have only paid for the ticket so far. Petrol will go in on the way, hotel paid for when we check in/out.

I have been a walkover - you are quite right, which is why I'm asking for a MN opinion as I don't want to be a walkover any more and have had trouble asserting myself in the past so I don't want to get it wrong!

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 03/11/2017 13:58

absolutely tell her if she doesn't have the ticket money you won't be going.

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