To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

[Cheeseontoastie]

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

I don't think the pram makes a difference

Have you seen the size of some or those tanks these days? and I speak as someone who had a double buggy.

Two trying to get down / up the narrow path at the same time is going to be momentarily difficult.

I don't think the OP was rude. The other woman definitely was.

I thank people who move for me, but I don't expect it from people I move for and don't really notice if they don't. I'm sure some of them barely register my existence, and I don't see any particular reason why they should.

Moving out of people's way at hardly any inconvenience to yourself is to be expected, it doesn't require thanks.

Call me odd but I tend to give way to the people coming in the collect their kids if I've already collected mine and am leaving, which she was. So I would say she was in my way.

So I would say she was in my way. no surprise there

" I'm sure some of them barely register my existence, and I don't see any particular reason why they should. "

YY

I assume people are grateful even if they don't say thank you, I have enough stress in my life without raging because someone was too rude/busy/stressed/anxious/sleep deprived/depressed/whatever to say thank you at that time. I don't expect people to know what's going on in my head at a particular time, why would I think I know what's going on in theirs?

Anyway, this thread has been hilarious - so thank you all for cheering me up after what was a stressful morning!

How do people reach adulthood without a basic understanding of good manners?

It's an British thing op

They are OBSESSED with 'please' and 'thank you' in my culture it's implied. Had many an argument about this with DH.

Honestly in Britian I always say 'please' and 'thank you' otherwise you get rude strangers making passive aggressive comments about your lack of politeness

¯\(ツ)/¯

The pavements on my road are quite narrow (especially because of bins left on pavements all week...) and I often stand aside to let someone pass if they have a pram, are carrying something big or are a group of people. Hardly anyone acknowledges it and I do find it rude as I've made the effort to stand aside and wait for them to pass.

Why do people equate negotiating a busy sidewalk = good manners?

Utter nonsense.

Because you decide I need to thank you for something completely trivial like walking by you -- me disagreeing and not complying with your entitlement doesn't make me rude or lacking in manners.

I am always thanking and apologising, but there are hundreds of interactions in a day and there’s occasionally a rude fucker who feels they’ve made a huge (usually imaginary) effort for you and says something PA. I would never do this, it’s the height of rudeness. Carry on thanking where appropriate and don’t let the buggers grind you down.

You were rude! How is this hard to understand? Just... say thank you next time?

If it is a cultural British thing that's hardly a bad trait either. Manners are in please to ease social situations really.

sorry, in place.

I'm so polite I even slipped an extra 'please' in!

So I would say she was in my way.

Take a good long look at yourself OP.

This is one of the many reasons that I don't live in London. "Get out of my way. I'm in a hurry and my need is greater than yours" seems to be the default setting - see numerous threads on people daring to stand on the wrong side of escalators or walking at the wrong speed on the pavement.

My ultimate bug bear is people who don’t say please or thank you, even for little things. Manners cost nothing. I’m constantly pulling the DC, and even DH, up on it. It’s very rude IMO. I stopped holding a door open for a woman at my DC school as I’d do it quite often and she has never once thanked me. That’ll learn her

I don't understand not saying "thank you". Isn't it a natural reaction? Like apologising if you accidentally knock someone in the street, or thanking a driver that let you out of a junction.

I don't even think about thanking people - it's just what you do when someone does something nice for you, however small. Why would you not say thank you, or at least smile and acknowledge that they did a nice thing?

I would have done the same as the woman. I hate people who don't bother to say a simple thank you.

It's only a natural reaction when you have been drilled since childhood to do it.

Not everyone has

Really well mannered people would say please and thank you, but never get ruffled or angry when others show a less polite approach.
It is WORSE, in my opinion, to huff and say something passive aggressive when you don't receive the correct thanks. Manners are like gifts, you give them because it is how things should be done NOT because of what you expect in return.
I try (and am not always successful) to be kind, polite, patient and show good manners. In general I find that this approach improves my life, minor things like journeys, and its lovely to get smiles and happiness back although I don't expect it.
I think in general people need to grow up. Good manners are a personal choice, just lead by example if you think they are important.

Also, I have to agree with an above poster about it being a British thing. I recently went to America and I thought they were so rude because no one ever said please or thank you ever! I decided that it was obviously a very British thing to do!

And school is also not the place to be a huffy idiot

People notice the rude people, as above they stop being nice because they are fed up of being considerate and then treat the other person with equal rudeness

It spreads same as politeness spreads

Suggest you try it - make the world a better place. School is the hub of community after all

Same as politeness

This is the best thread!! Haha!!
I would always say thank you. I’m really surprised the others don’t. Where do you live?!
Anyway, Once one person starts it, they might folllw!

Well like I said I wonder the same then as people are missing the point that it doesn't happen to me or very rare if it does .funny how I'm the only "rude" one but no one is commenting on how rude the people who passed me today were who ignore me. So like I said didn't realise stepping to one side requires a thank you.

Tbh I would rather be around people who didn't expect a please and a thank you for every little thing they did, otherwise they have a go at you if you haven't noticed or was in a rush so not paying much attention. Don't do something if your only being kind to get a "omg thank you so much your the best!"

If they don't thank me I say it for them. I find they thank me the next time.