To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

[Cheeseontoastie]

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

LOAds of typos there but you get the jist.

No he didn't I was standing at the front of a bus. It was a packed bus. But hey you know more than me even though you weren't there.

Then he didn’t have the best manners there

It's not a race to the bottom.

If someone's rude then that's no excuse for you too be rude to everybody else.

Because a car moved that was blocking his way. "Oh thank you very much for no longer taking up the whole road and sticking to your side" I'm of the opinion it's rude to block roads or pavements.

I'm of the opinion it's rude to block roads or pavements

But it's even ruder to not notice that you need the space - to see you, acknowledge you and move so they are no longer obstructing.

How about 'thanks for noticing I'm here? Thanks for moving so I can now continue? Thanks for making the effort?

Because the lady could've just ignored you totally, she didn't, you were rude

Why don't you start spreading the joy and see why comes back

I wasn't rude. Not at all. She's not that important. Moving an inch doesn't require thanks. That wasn't what this thread was about.

Why start an aibu then? You've asked if you were u to not understand that people tend to thank for minor things and most people think you are. If you're so convinced why ask the question?

I always say thank you to anyone who moves for me or stands back to let me through. The bridge in our town is too narrow for people to pass each other and my daughter at 3 was saying thank you to anyone who waited for us to go past.

Imo, anyone who gets huffy or rude about other people's lack of manners is equally lacking in manners.

The traveller story is so true @AuntieBeast.
OP are you going to try making eye contact and smiling as you pass people?

But you are rude. Even the way you reply in this thread is rude. You come across as lacking any warmth whatsoever!!

I don’t like being treated like a doormat everywhere I go. I hate holding the door open and loads of people wondering through without muttering a thank you. I am just as entitled to be on this earth as everyone else. If I move for you, you should say thank you. If you move for me, I will say thank you.

Simple

Etiquette not required here. If she was positioned so that someone couldn't enter the school unless she moved then really she was being obstructive. Obstruction of foot paths is an offence.

Is it possible that you have form for not being polite and this woman was fed up with your brusqueness? You say you can’t remember her face now so is it possible that you didn’t remember her when she moved the pram? It’s a school so unlikely that it was the first time you’d encountered each other even if you can’t remember.

I don't talk to any one at the school/neither do they to me so I doubt it. If that's the case then she needs to give a life anyway rather than starting trouble with people who don't even notice her existence.

And thinkig about it I use my sling down at the school 80% of the time anyway. As I usually get the bus. I only take my pram if I'm planning on doing shopping after so I doubt I've been that much of an issue to her.

If that's the case then she needs to give a life anyway rather than starting trouble with people who don't even notice her existence

The reason she has ‘started trouble’ —stuck up for herself and pointing out she is not infact a doormat— is because you don’t notice her existence.

I couldn't care less about her. This thread is not about her and I doubt she's crying her self to sleep over it. Was probably just a bad day for her so she took it out on a stranger.

I would have thanked her but that’s because manners are as natural as breathing to me, it requires no special thought and it’s definitely not a distraction - it would feel abnormal if I didn’t thank her to be honest - I’d have to give far more thought and attention to not doing it!

I also expect people to use manners and I always notice those who don’t. I rarely say anything to them though.

I don't talk to any one at the school/neither do they to me so I doubt it. If that's the case then she needs to give a life anyway rather than starting trouble with people who don't even notice her existence.

I couldn't care less about her.

How delightfully charming.

I'm astonished by how many people on this thread are applauding the actions of the pram lady. Not sure whether this is a Mumsnet thing or a British thing...

My understanding has always been that the rules of politeness exist in order to make others feel at ease, so scolding a stranger over their lack of manners completely defeats the purpose.

Obviously, if in doubt it's always better to thank somebody. So it's possible that OP was accidentally a bit rude, but the pram lady's response was a lot more vulgar IMO.

It's rude not to say thank you.

It's rude to huff about not being thanked.

A few years ago I taught English as a Second Language to new settlers from SE Asia ( mainly Taiwan, Vietnam, mainland China) ( not in the UK).
They did not expect to say please or thank you for small social courtesies such as opening doors, giving way, etc because this was not expected within their culture.
I explained that in the British culture etc it WAS expected and that they would be viewed as rude if they did not. In fact I was aware that this was the general impression held by locals who they came into contact with. A smile and a please or thank you is often the first step to friendship or at least makes others feel appreciated.
I guess having had it drilled into me as a child, as have generations of children, it is just second nature and takes no effort.