To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

[Cheeseontoastie]

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

Must have been like the parting of the seas!

If someone has to get out of your way, it implies that they're in your way in the first place - in which case they getting out of the way is not optional & shouldn't require any special effort on their part - what would you be thanking her for anyway? Sticking to her part of the pavement.......

I don't thank the footpath hogs that have to get out of my way when I'm running - if they don't move I just stop dead & stand on my half of the pavement until they move out of the way.

Next time just stand there whistling until she moves out of the way.

I suppose all the people on here who think 'you're welcome' is a perfectly valid way to respond when someone forgets to say thanks also say, to adults, 'what's the magic word?' if they ask you to pass them something and forget a please.
And they probably also embarrass people by pointing out that they are holding their cutlery incorrectly.
Sometimes people forget their manners - even those who are usually polite and polite people tend to gloss over it rather than rudely point it out. The op forgot to say thanks to someone who did her a very minor favour. Not great manners but from the way people on here are talking you'd think she'd taken a shit in the pushchair!

Sirzy every time someone says the parting of the seas now, I think of that James Corden advert and the parting of the sheep!

As you all were...

I’m baffled that your thread appears to be full of you ranting about people not thanking you when you started the thread off with an example of you not thanking someone

I know

Odd

I'm not bothered that people don't thank me. It's clearly not the done thing I said I only noticed it after I got the rude comment about not saying thanks that people do to me all the time.

It's clearly not the done thing

It is in my world. Good manner just make the world a nicer place. Why wouldn't you thank someone for moving out the way / holding a door open / standing back to let you through a space / letting you out of a side road in your car / etc., etc.,etc. ?

Fgs op, what are you doing?everyone is jumping on me, no one thanks me, I’d be saying thank you all the time, people would be falling over themselves...prone to over exaggeration much?

You know saying thanks is the norm, people will say thank you to you when you do it for them. You know you were rude and now you’re trying to justify it by arguing with a bunch of strangers on line that either you’re not thr only rude person, you don’t understand the etiquette or it would be just too onerous.

Honestly, give it up,

No, you don't have to smile at every person in a playground, but you should acknowledge people you interact with, even in a small way like getting out of each other's way.

I also didn't say your body language made you undeserving of thanks but it isn't easy to thank someone for something when they turn away from you or ignore you completely. There is no way you are being friendly and approachable, your call, but don't behave like there are set rules, so beneath you and your busy-ness when it is just basic manners everyone else manages.

I say thank you as a matter of course. moving a pram out of the way. I get pretty annoyed when people don't thank.

Agree with bluntness. The OP knows she was bloody rude and she is trying to justify it by arguing with anyone who doesn't agree with her point of view.

Someone said upthread, 'how do you know someone's aunt/mother/dog/budgie hasn't died, or they are suffering an illness or feeling low and so on and so on.......?'

Bollocks. The vast majority of the time that someone's doesn't say 'thank you' when you do something nice, kind, or courteous for them; are doing so because they're entitled arseholes.

I always say thank you or give a smile. People don't thank me but it's not going to stop me having mannors.

I guess I'm the someone upthread! Lots of people suffer mental ill health and people's relatives die every day. My point is you don't know why someone is distracted and I would hope someone would feel bad about telling someone off for being momentarily distracted if they were highly distressed for some reason.
Aside from that it's unecessarily aggressive and touchy. God knows how some people would react if they actually encountered a real problem if a lack of thanks leaves them yelling sarcastic comments!

People can be seriously weird. i've had a couple of similar reactions recently actually when people with prams (once) or dogs (the other time) have "allowed" me to pass (scenario is I am walking with baby in baby carrier, there is a car parked up half way on the pavement, i reached the car/sport first so I carry on, someone coming the other side has to stop and wait for me to pass - it did not occur to me at the time to say thank you as there was no real option, the alternative was for them to just bump into me which is stupid and it is perfectly normal for them to wait since I was there 'first', if I had been in their shoes I would have waited too and would never have expected to be thanked for it)... I believe that I am well mannered but obviously not enough for them which then justified them being rude... which completely defeats the point they were trying to make. People can be very arsey and entitled.

I cannot think of a situation where I would huff and puff rudely because someone had only 'failed' to say thank you. There could be loads of reasons for them not to say it such as they didnt realise that I was doing them a 'favour', they do not see it as a favour, they are thinking about something else and are engrossed in their thoughts, they are very timid or socially awkward and did not dare or were not heard...

The entitled arseholes are those thinking it is perfectly ok to be verbally abusive to someone just because they did not conform to their own social norms.

I think you just don’t notice people thanking you. It’s rude not to thank.

Just because other people are rude and don't thank you doesn't mean you have to be rude too. Manners cost nothing.

It’s simple - treat others as you wish to be treated yourself.

And when people fail to thank you then you see that as a gift and use it as an excuse to burst into your best Maui impression ‘HEY, IT’S OK, IT’S OK, YOU’RE WELCOME!’

Win-win situation.

3out treat others as you wish to be treated extends to not huffing at people or trying to shame or embarrass them or make them uncomfortable.

I thank and apologies excessively, am always teased for it now I live outside the UK, but people on there seem proud to say they give the finger or try to shame people who don't thank them. It's worse. It's always worse to actively, deliberately try to make someone feel bad, or swear at someone than to forget to thank them!

It's quite ironic that people are complaining that manners are changing/ being lost but missing that the negative change is in the overwhelming support for responding rudely or worse to someone if their manners displease you.

Doesn't everyone know the AA Gill finger bowl story?

Your dinner party neighbor drinks from the finger bowl - bad manners is to tell her or mock her, the height of good manners is to do the same so as not to make her feel embarrassed about her accidental etiquette breach!

i would absolutely say thank you whether she moved a metre or a mile

I disagree. I think it's rude to block the pavement with a pram. She should have put it so it wasn't blocking the way in the first place. She's not doing you a massive favour by letting you use 'her' pavement.

Sounds like you lack basic social skills.

Extremely basic ones

I'm not sure the finger bowl analogy stands here.

Finger bowls are not everyday items, It's perfectly understandable not to know their purpose, but please and thank you are the most basic of good manners.