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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

374 replies

Cheeseontoastie · 03/11/2017 09:53

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 07:52

Bluntness100 Be fair.

AIBU would be half empty if it weren't for these sort of threads! Grin

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 08:06

I said I only noticed after the woman done it to me that no one has ever thanked for at the school for doing the exact same thing as she did. Then yesterday after leaving the school I completely moved my pram off the path for another pram and again no thanks.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 08:10

How did you completely move your pram off a very narrow path? Wouldn't you have both ended up in the hedgerow?

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 08:13

After leaving the school. as in I was up the road. Must remember to be very clear on here for people to understand.

OP posts:
EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 04/11/2017 08:16

You must remember that we don't live where you live. I think this calls for a diagram! 😂

Mossend · 04/11/2017 08:17

Why did you post this in AIBU?

You have been told that it is basic manners and yes, you were rude but still continue to try and justify your behaviour with the "others do it to me" argument. If you only wanted posters to say you were justified in displaying bad manners don't ask for honest responses.

So yes you are BU

pilates · 04/11/2017 08:25

YABU
Have your own standards/manners, don’t worry about others.

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 08:26

Because people are answering something I didn't ask. This isnt about me and the woman. This is why no one does it to me. No one is going oh the people you moved out the wAy for yesterday were so rude. I'm just rude to the woman apparently. Guess it's more entertaining that way though...

OP posts:
Mossend · 04/11/2017 08:30

Just because nobody says it to you doesn't make your behaviour any better.
And as for being frightened of making a show of yourself by saying thank you, I think you'll make a bigger show of yourself by not.

JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 08:32

must remember to be very clear on here so people do understand

Fine then. It's a rainy day so I'll bite.

What are we not understanding?

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 08:34

Like I said no one else does it at the school to me so why am I the only one making a show of myself?! How very odd.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 08:35

Oh and I mean no one does it to anyone as there is always a line of people coming in and a line of people coming out I'm not usually at the front of this line. No one says anything to anyone.

OP posts:
Mossend · 04/11/2017 08:42

and since no one thanked me again today I'm gonna follow suit rather than make a show of myself.

Yes it is extremely odd that a grown woman would think saying thank you to someone would be making a show of herself

JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 08:43

Yes I know. You said no one else does it so you dont. Many of us told you that just because someone else is rude doesn't excuse your behaviour and they you both sounded rude. You're not saying anything different in your last posts. Just reiterating that the dissenting voices miss your point/dont understand you.

So in essence, it's not that people don't understand you, you were very clear, you just don't like being told you was as rude as she was by some posters.

Shit happens. Rudeness happens. Most ot us get on with it.

JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 08:45

Like I said no one else does it at the school to me so why am I the only one making a show of myself?! How very odd.

But you want other people to make a show or themselves by thanking you?

Ah peak AIBU at it's half term best. Grin

Veterinari · 04/11/2017 08:45

You think you’d ‘make a show of youself’ By simply saying ‘thanks’. It’s hardly poledancing naked at the school gate is it?!? Confused

Gosh you seem very anxious about your image. You are rude by the way. Yes it does seem as if you are surrounded by rude people and you’re using their behaviour to justify yours (sheep!), but regardless you’re still rude.

lljkk · 04/11/2017 08:48

Pah. This is the real unspoken conversation with the passive-aggressive "You're Welcome" utterers.

You didn't sake Thank you!

"Oops, I forgot. I was trying not to run over your toes/catch a fleeing toddler/steer the car straight/remember directions where I'm going. Why is Thank You so important?"

Because I'm a wonderful person who so kindly held the door open for you. You should be grateful. I could be a selfish pig instead.

"So I need to thank you for being a decent human being?"

That's right! Society would fall to pieces if we didn't do these social graces to stop each other from behaving like total bastards.

"Ok.... I don't need to be thanked to stop myself from behaving like a total jerk. But I guess you do. So Thank you!"

Too late! I declare you are the Rude Ingrate!

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 08:50

Like I said I only noticed it after she pointed it out. Why is that hard to understand. Wasn't expecting a thanks before that. And if it is so rude was wondering why no one else does it? I don't think what I'm saying is difficult anyway I'm glad some people have managed to understand and even said their children's schools are exactly the same. Some times people just like to start trouble.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 08:58

It’s hardly poledancing naked at the school gate is it?!?

Now that'd make the school run more entertaining wouldn't it! Grin

JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 09:00

why is that so hard to understand

If you come across as ostentatious as you do in some of your posts in the same way at the school gates, sorry to say but then I'm not surprised you get huffy you're welcomes.

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 09:02

Well people would probably think I was being sarcastic. It's a busy school people are always stepping over slightly or whatever to mind crashing into other people if everyone did it to everyone then we would all just be walking along going "thank you" every couple of seconds. Which I'm not going to do. And no one else does.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 09:03

That's not what ostentatious means. Hmm

JonSnowsWife · 04/11/2017 09:04

which I'm not going to do. And no one else does.

So why ask in the first place then? 😂

Original poster
Cheeseontoastie · 04/11/2017 09:11

She's the only person to have done it to me since February when they started and like I said I wasn't asking about the school situation was asking why people don't do it to me them! Again not hard it is.

OP posts:
Mossend · 04/11/2017 09:16

The reason no one does it to you is that they are obviously rude too.

I hope the school that you are all dropping your children off at are teaching your children manners cause it doesn't look like the parents can.