To not understand this etiquette 'rule'

[Cheeseontoastie]

I was coming into my children's school a few days ago, I have a pram and another lady with a pram moved hers over slightly as I was coming through (talking like an inch) anyway as I passed she rudely huffed "ugh your welcome!" I was abit taken aback. Now since then (and when ever I do it before anyway) no one ever "thanks" me. I've just moved out the way for a woman and a man and two kids and didn't get any acknowledgement. I also always move my pram out for another one to fit in and it's very rare anyone says thanks they usually just roll it in. I don't expect a thanks but also don't understand why some people get angry/rude about it. So what are the 'rules'?

So, because people don't thank you for moving, you now think you don't have to thank other people for moving?

On second thoughts, don't answer.

The moral of the finger bowl story is that if you have manners yourself you don't highlight where others have fallen short. Especially not in the form of an arsey sarcastic comment. I can't see why anyone thinks it's more polite to sarcastically say 'you're welcome' to someone than to forget to say thank you in the first place!
Any time I've heard someone do that it's just made them look common as muck tbh and as if they want a row over something very minor like holding a door.

Polite, middle class people who are civilised and have manners say please and thank you. Dreadful common peop,e who scrap through life like troglodytes don't bother.

Hope that is simple enough for you.

Failing to say thanks might be a bit impolite, but it could be an oversight or misunderstanding.

A huffy “You’re welcome” is out and out rude. I’ve always felt it was terribly ironic when people show themselves up by doing that.

Evelyn I know, that’s why I said it.

I too am a serial thanker. I wave at the lollipop man from my car, I say thank you to cars which stop to let me cross the road (even though they’re supposed to). When I’m having the weekly Big Breakfast at work I say eggs please bacon please sausage please beans please toast please and black pudding thank you.

There is not enough singing in this world. I’m very much pro acts of random singing.

The finger bowl, was that not the Queen?

There is not one person alive who has never forgotten a please or thank you even once. Shouting after someone like a fish wife is more of an indication of your level of class imo.

Hope that it simple enough for you and you are, of course, very welcome! 😂

Bbbbbbb

So, because people don't thank you for moving, you now think you don't have to thank other people for moving? confused

Indeed this is very confusing. Why punish perfectly polite people as some sort of weird revenge on the people who have slighted you??

It's not revenge how odd. I assumed it wasn't the done thing. Pp has already explained how their school is the same.

Well, let’s not get too literal. I am making a point and used the hyperbolic “revenge” for emphasis.

Cheese on toastie, I totally get you and had this exact same thing. The woman in question was actually in the way on a very narrow path next to a road and lots of people were trying to walk by with their children and she was standing in the way chatting. As you say i wasn't paying full attention as I was trying to manevour past children on scooters etc. I called her out on it.

But your comment is ridiculous I'm not doing it for no other reason other than I didn't think it was the done thing and since no one thanked me again today I'm gonna follow suit rather than make a show of myself.

I think the "your welcome" is sooo passive aggressive and would have preferred actual aggression and her to call me a rude bitch

You're

Of course you say thank you! I always say thank you. I find it pretty rude if people don't, as it's something I will always say if they've moved out of the way for me.
Her attitude in response is just as bad.

Ah sorry, tend to miss things like that in writing on screen 3out

Chardonnay the point, as others say, is that by publicly shaming someone else for their lack of manners (unless it is a child whom it is your responsibility to educate, and even then it's not the right way to go about it) you instantly show yourself to be the one with the worst manners in the room/ playground.

You should have thanked her and people should thank you for the same courtesy. Where on earth do you live where people just barge through without thanking you, as you say?

I'm familiar with the general take on moral of the finger bowl story and I my opinion it is different to the situation OP was in.

By the way the don't agree with the fish bowl situation as well. It's much kinder to let someone they are doing something wrong, etiquette wise so they won't put themselves in the same position again, but of course if has to be done with tact and in private. All this drinking out of finger bowl nonsense is patronising rubbish.

So if you didn't think it was the done thing why on earth are you expecting thankyous off other people?

How bizarre.

Just because other people are rude to you doesn't mean you have to forget your manners does it?

How could you possibly think saying thanks to someone for moving out your way is making a show of yourself?

And why ask the question. If 98 percent of the responses say you should say thanks and you just say “well I’m not gonna”.

Beyond bizzare.

So you think huffy sarcastic "you're welcomes" are the way forward Chardonnay ? Or taking nodding acquaintances aside and earnestly telling them it's polite to say thank you? There is no situation in which pointing out an adult stranger's etiquette slip ups is going to ease the wheels of social harmony - the only reason manners exist is to make social encounters easier and more comfortable. Pulling an adult you barely know up and correcting them will clearly have the opposite result.

No I don't.

I think the way forward for is for OP to realise she was rude instead of trying to argue her pint on the thread.

pointing out an adult stranger's etiquette slip ups

Where was I talking about pointing something out?

Just say thanks, if others don't then so be it. Set a good example op