To ask are children with siblings happier?

[Anyoneanytimeanywhere]

I have ds 2.6 happy outgoing little boy, a bit boisterous.
I thought he would be an only child after horrible delivery and not so perfect pelvic floor.
I would love another baby but worry about damage from a future birth.
Recently I look at families with 2 or more dc and the relationship that the siblings have together. I have 2 siblings and dp has one and I couldn’t imagine life without them.
So now I’m thinking should I have another. Are children who have siblings happier because of this? If you were an only child did you miss not having a sibling? Do you miss not having a sibling as an adult?
This is not meant to offend anyone it’s just question and please be honest either way but kind. My ds may remain an only child.

I had one brother, he was nine years older than me. He used to slap me around my whole childhood and well into adulthood. I could have easily done without him and don't think my story is that uncommon.

Aside from this I think in most cases people are better off having a sibling, not just in childhood but through adulthood as well. Sometime siblings just don't get on though and I don't think there's anything you can do to predict this. I wouldn't feel they were deprived as an only child though, they gain in lots of other ways. Swings and roundabouts, in'it. :)

I'm an only and love it. Never wanted a sibling.
I will be a mess when my parents die, but I would be anyway. I love them dearly and will gladly step up regarding care when they are elderly. I would do that whether or not I had a sibling. Also, I've seen enough situations where one sibling is half a world away or estranged, and the care falls to one sibling anyway. At least I'll not have any resentment about that.

DD is an only child, though we wanted more. She went through phases of wanting a sibling, but now she's older she doesn't really care.

I think she does feel it more than I did though - she's more sociable. But there's nothing I can do to fix my ovaries, so I just put in a lot more effort to help her with friendships. Our house is the party house, it's a revolving door of neighbourhood kids, we've taken friends and cousins on holiday with us. DD has a very full social calender! Not only that but we can afford to send her on every single residential trip or activity she's wanted to do.

I think it's lovely when siblings get on, it's really sweet to see my cousin's little ones who have an amazing relationship. But it seems to be a gamble, doesn't it- you aren't going to get on with them just because you're related.

I have to say, I have recently had a front row seat to a friend's sibling feud over inheritance, and I've never been so fucking relieved to be an only

from my own experience. my brother is 3yrs younger than me and my sister 2 yrs older. my sister was a nasty spiteful bully growing up who put me down and bullied my friends. me and my brother were like best friends, always together, played out together and had same group of friends. I move out the family home at 18 and we lost the connection, my sister and I get on a little better now at 35 & 38 but wouldn't say i miss her.

from having my own children. my ds's are 3yrs apart and hardly ever got on when they were younger as they got older they came to blows with punching, throwing objects and shouting. they are 12 and 15 and cant stand each other. when ds2 was 6 I had dd. at first he adored her, looked out for her - got her toys, put dummy back in etc. pushed her on the swings at park. soon as she started to walk, talk and become annoying in his words he stopped caring and started hitting, pushing and being nasty. ds1 hasn't really made an effort or had any interest in her. dd doesn't like her brothers just as much!

I have a friend who has 2 boys also 3yrs apart and they too don't get on, sit in separate rooms and get into smacking fights.

I have a neighbour who has a 5yr old dd only child, she is the happiest little girl I know, the parents are always taking her to events, family gatherings, shes always kept busy.

I think it depends on your own situation, if you have lots of family and friends / mum friends then might be ok with socialising that way. only you will have the gut instinct I reckon.

There are lots of women who have talked about regretting having children anonymously on the internet. For obvious reasons mothers do not tend to say this to anyone who actually knows them.

I have several friends who were only children, they said it was lonely and wished they had a sibling. My two are like chalk and cheese but seem to get on ok.

Just asked darling dgs1 (aged 4) if children with siblings are happier? are you happier now dgs2 (aged 6 months) is here? "No I was happier before."
My dd, quite concerned asked, why? His response, "Because I didn't have a baby before.

My dd, an only child, wanted a sibling. I have a dsis and wanted to be an only child.

I was only child at home. Brother in army. ( 16 yrs between us ) loved it.
I have 2 dc that are 20 months apart. Want to fucking throttle each other 24/7 unless eating or sleeping . Drive me crazy 😂 stay at 1 !

I’m an only and my parents were too! It was fab, until I hit family breakdown and their ageing/ terminal illness as an adult.
It’s very hard dealing with all that on your own, it’s really lonely.
I have 2. Seeing their relationship amazes me every day. But they also have to make sacrifices in terms of attention etc of course. As an aside I had an awful birth and wrecked pelvic floor with dc1 which didn’t get any worse from my ( easy and quick) second birth. All the damage was done the first time!
I’m so glad mine have each other. They’re 2 years apart.

I am an only child and I loved it growing up, I would see my friends arguing and fighting with their siblings and think how lucky I was to have peace in my house.
My mum died a few years ago and at that time I really wished I had a brother or sister to help me support my dad. I felt out if my depth as he really took it hard and remember feeling on my own.
Now that things have settled down and I have my own little family now it doesn’t bother me at all that im an only child.
I have 2 dc and sometimes I wish I had stopped at one as I feel like my attention it split and im only giving them 50% each of the mum they deserve, if that makes sense

It’s very hard dealing with all that on your own, it’s really lonely.

lovelymonkey as I said upthread to another poster, you can have numerous siblings and still be left with the very lonely business of caring for a dying parent, except with an added dose of resentment, even with siblings you love very much.

I’m from a big family and only have one child.
I do worry about him not having sibling support especially when older.
However, we make extra special effort to go out lots with friends. I don’t know if I’d bother to do this as much if I had a ready made troup at home.

Only child here. DH effectively was an only due to big age gaps. We are both fine with it. Meanwhile DDad hasn't spoken to his brother in 40 years, while DM and her sister were never close, and were NC at the time of my aunt's death. Many of my friends aren't close to their siblings, either, and some actively dislike them. Seems to me that siblings are overrated.

I have a sibling and we get on better now we’re older.? We had good and bad times as kids relationship wise. The main thing is now my dad has died, my mum has two people to lean on.

DP is an only, painfully shy and introverted. His dad passed away and the burden of his mother falls to him. Calling at 1am because her washing machine may or may not work 🙄, asking him to deal with all her phone calls despite him working long hours and her being retired. Not thinking we may have plans during time off work and will be at her beck and call. She is also obsessed with him and talks to him like he is 5...’what’s for din-dins?’ Ffs he’s Nearly40, if she calls and we fon’t Answer she calls every 3 minutes about 6 times then calls his mobile. We are busy sometimes! With a sibling it would at least be shared, I also notice slightly more selfish behaviour in him and not intentionally but he’s never really had to consider someone else. An example was at Christmas my friend had given me a box of chocolates and that night he picked them up opened the box took out his favourites then offered box to mil????erm those are mine but as a youngster he’d have been allowed to open anything in the house and not consider if it belongs to a sibling.

I am an only child, my husband is an only child, we have an only child. You don't miss what you've never had! Personally I don't understand the sentiment that people "should" have more than one child or it's selfish. I have more time for my son, we are a very tight close knit family, we have more spare cash.. we are HAPPY!!! The list of positives is endless!

I was one of three and pretty miserable with an abusive childhood and so ds is an only and seems happy.

Only child here, never gave it a second thought growing up. I had friends and various cousins to spend time with. I don't miss having "sibling support" at all as an adult.

My DS is also an only. There's no right answer to this, everyone will have different experiences. If you have more DC do it because you want to, not because you think it's what your DC will want.

I am my mum's only child and although my dad had others they are much older so I was really a single child, didn't bother me much growing up but my partner has a brother and I love to listen to them talk about the fun things they did as children and silly things the parents did. I feel now I missed out on something- but then on the other side I know siblings who as adults hate each other. The other thing I think i when my step-dad died it made me realise when my mum dies it is only me (and my DP) to sort everything out and no-one to understand my grief like a sibling would, it has been a huge part of my decision to have 2 children. But I do not believe my childhood was better or worse for having a sibling except I got more toys ha ha. Sorry did not mean to ramble on so much

All the “only child” adults I know are spoilt

My 2 DC - DS14 and DD11 - are very close. They play together, watch videos online, do homework, go running or cycling together. It’s not all sweetness and light and the do argue at times, but mostly they’re close and love each other very much. I really hope it stays this way into adulthood.

my brother is 12 years younger than me.
before the age of 17 I left home for college and then work.

I was a very happy child and remain so...(although miserable teen for a few horrible horrible years).
my brother and I only lived in the same home for 5 years max, years when was full time at school and busy with friends.

I have a brother who adds nothing really to my life and caused a lot of heartache when we were younger.

My ds is an only.

I reckon onlies who wished they had a sibling wanted a specific type of sibling - one who is a friend and support, they wouldn’t be interested in one who was always picking arguments and causing your parents pain.

I'm one of eight, I love my sibling, of course I do, but honestly? I think my childhood would have been better without them. It sounds so selfish but I look at my best friend, who is an only, and all the opportunities and special memories he has that I could never have had. I know sometimes he is jealous of the family I have, so I think it's one of those questions no one really knows the answer to.

greendale I can assure you that plenty of adults with siblings are spoilt, too, sadly!

I’m an only child and had a very happy childhood. I don’t miss having siblings- it doesn’t look that amazing really. I have lots of close friends and DH and am happy. DH has one sister who we see maybe twice a year.
DS is an only child and he will be fine too.
From what I’ve seen siblings can make you less happy, lots of fights and rivalry. As an adult having a close sibling looks nice, but no nicer than having good friends.

I am an only child and always wished I had a sibling. I felt very lonely as a child and wish my children had aunts and uncles my mum is one of 6 so I had lots of extended family although they live 100 miles away, I was/am jealous of the close relationships my cousins have with their siblings, but oh has 2 sisters we have been together 12 years and I have met his sisters once at mils funeral, they have never met my youngest child, oh hasn't spoken to one of his sisters since the funeral 10 years ago he maybe talks to the other once a year, neither of his sisters came to our wedding 9 years ago, so you can't guarantee that siblings will be close.