Dh made me feel like shit

[Vickytoria72]

Dh and I have 2dc a 6yr ds and 21mth ds. So my dh gets home from work sits down and the first thing he says to me is "you know that I love you". Now that got me wondering what he wanted/had done, he then looked at my stomach and without saying it implied I was fat. At first I was stunned then I had to leave the room and have a cry in the bathroom, he did come up stairs and apologise which I wasn't ready to accept. He knows how self conscious I am of my body at the best of times. It just took me back to when I was was bullied at school. I know my body is far from perfect, but I've only gone up from a size 12 to a 14 since we've been together. Aibu to still be upset with him.

Wow. The fat-shaming started with the fourth post, without knowing enough details...wish people would get the info before starting this shit. Does the hairy handed one Falnui win a prize for most deletions on a thread?

@SloeSloeQuickQuickGin OP is obviously trying to be ironic, can you not grasp that?

Well op, one thing you can be sure of. He will think it and not say it in future. What with the crying and continual apologies, for what, ain indicative look?

You can’t control what he’s thinking, but you can control him enough he just won’t tell you. For me it’s not better, but that’s really where you are now. He won’t mention it again. He will simoly hide his true feelings and lie to you.

So here lies the first rung of dishonesty in uour marriage. As said, you can’t stop him thinking it, you can only stop him saying it, and now you’ll never know what he thinks of your appearance.

I think this is one of those issues where I'm hugely at odds with most of MN. I would never dream of telling my husband to lose weight, or vice versa.

We've actually both put on a little weight since the birth of our son but that's definitely down to the amount of biscuits we're getting through due to sleep deprivation. We both notice, but neither of us would dream of calling the other out on it and we both fancy each other regardless.

If he gained a significant amount of weight I'd be more concerned with understanding any potential underlying mental health issue to cause him to overeat that much, I certainly wouldn't be making veiled references to his flabby belly.

McLove I hear you on the biscuits and sleep deprivation! And I have to say I agree with your whole post. We are first time parents and have been guilty of one too many "Oh just get a pizza from the Co-op!" moments!! That said I still cook from scratch most days, but us mum's find it hard sometimes to eat healthy/exercise/clean/maintain a healthy weight and be our best selves all while raising a little one!

I think we need to give ourselves a break. I know I want to lose the baby weight, and I will in my own time. My DH pointing it out to me would just make me feel sad and pressured. I'm sure it would be the same for him too.

That said, he hasn't gained any weight except for muscle since we met at secondary school. He looks amazing meanwhile I have a spare tyre above my c section scar and my boobs look like Freddy Kruegers face! (Quote borrowed from friend said earlier today...)

The things we go through for our little bundles!

You've had two dc and only gone up one size in clothes.
I'm 5'3, no kids and a size 14 - i'm slightly overweight, i don't consider myself fat though......and neither are you

Sounds like he 'expects' you to be a certain size forever
Just tell him he's an arsehole and her needs to take a good look at himself.

You can try doing things to tone up your stomach abdomen muscles over time when/if you feel like it.
You don't need to lose weight if it isn't a problem for you personally - his issues are not yours.

I'd tell him he can make it up to me by getting me a chicken madras meal plus trimmings from my favourite takeaway and not be an arse about it

Not read the full thread but @Teddy7878 you aren't 2 stone overweight according to BMI. I'm 5'6" and 11st 2 was BMI 25 - the maximum to be in the healthy category.

This is going to be in The Mirror or DM, btw.