Dh made me feel like shit

[Vickytoria72]

Dh and I have 2dc a 6yr ds and 21mth ds. So my dh gets home from work sits down and the first thing he says to me is "you know that I love you". Now that got me wondering what he wanted/had done, he then looked at my stomach and without saying it implied I was fat. At first I was stunned then I had to leave the room and have a cry in the bathroom, he did come up stairs and apologise which I wasn't ready to accept. He knows how self conscious I am of my body at the best of times. It just took me back to when I was was bullied at school. I know my body is far from perfect, but I've only gone up from a size 12 to a 14 since we've been together. Aibu to still be upset with him.

11st dead or somewhere between 11 and 12. Odd most people are not dead on a stone

There might be those who would say it’s a shame you’re not dead on a stone, Falnui.

I'm 5ft 7 and a size 14 and have been told by my doctor I'm 2 stone overweight for my height (I weight 12 stone).
It does sound like you need to lose some weight but not much. I bet if you just lost a stone you'd feel loads better. You could probably lose a stone within 2-3 months

Falnui whats wrong with you?

Lack of carbs Laguna.

And a brain.

Probably best to ignore Falnui. Obviously just joined MN to goad and upset.

Lack of carbs Laguna

Actually, about 1 in 14 people are dead on a stone. Odd that

It's the OP's body. If she wants to lose weight, then she can. If she has other priorities right now, then that's fine too.

This thread is bitchy as hell.

Im thinking some tragic penile-related accident causing pent up anger and deep seated inadequacy laguna

At 5ft 4" and 11st 6 I am overweight on the BMI scale (I am) but not obese

Falnui your perspective/definition of obesity is somewhat skewed to say the least!

You classified as a midget at 4ft11

Nope.

OP your husband was insensitive and most people in your situation would feel hurt.

Ignore the weird comments on this thread. If you're worried about your health, see your GP (who can give constructive and informed advice, unlike several of the posters on this thread).

If you're happy as you are, Google the Danish study that found that people with a BMI of 27 are less likely to die early than people in the 'healthy' range.

I think you're being far too sensitive. And it sounds like you aren't even very overweight at size 14. I don't think men do their partners any favours by saying nothing when they gain loads of weight and go up to a size 20 which isn't good for anyone's health. They should say something IMHO. And same goes if the man gets very overweight.

I did go to the gym for a while, but recently just haven't got the energy. I think the 21 mth old sneaks in to our bedroom at night time and sucks my energy away because he has plenty.

Well, it would be best to start a sensitive conversation about any health concerns if that's what is on his mind, Viv.

He went about the whole thing like a twat.

Both mine were into everything all the time at that age, Vicky.

It can get knackering quickly.

Well, given that he's concerned about your weight, I'd hope that your dh would be responsive to plans whereby he did more with your ds so that you have more energy and also time to go for a walk/swim/run/whatever exercise you enjoy.

I agree he didn't handled it well. I wouldn't stand for looks that I'm supposed to interpret. Say straight out what do you mean by x y or z. I am so thick skinned now no insult DH can give has any effect and I take great delight in telling him so.

Anyone know how to bring up a conversation with your partner regarding their eating habits and weight gain? Or do you just leave it? I've always wondered how you can have that conversation with anyone, even your own partner.

Op - you poor thing.
Childbirth really takes it’s toll and it’s much more difficult imo to keep to a healthy weight.
I think your husband came across as judgemental. He could have suggested taking up a more active lifestyle together or offered you time to work out while he looks after the children.
Sorry to hear about how upset you have been by the way he has gone about this.
If you are happy as you are tell him he should accept you as you are.
If you want to lose some weight tell him to watch the children while you have some time to excercise.

To bring it up with a partner I'd be discreet at first and tell them you want to go on a health kick and they should join you in doing it. If you want a partner to lose weight then it's not fair to keep junk food in the house

Obviously saying you are fat is very exaggerated.
You don't need t go to the gym. Find a workout that you can do at home with or around your 21 months old. It can be fun for both of you.

How on earth could the husband have "sensitively" told OP she'd put on weight

HOW

I think he was trying to be sensitive as it was