...to think it's possible to go back to work full time after mat leave?

[Jumperoux]

Would work 37 hours over 4 days with DD in nursery. Every other week she would be in nursery on the 5th day of the week so I can do overtime. She'll be 12 months and a bit.

Please give me your best tips. I'm hoping to still be breastfeeding morning/bedtime. I've heard that without daytime feeds then babies can start waking more in the night when mother goes back to work? And the idea of leaving the house for 7:20 fills me with dread. Will I be expected to give her breakfast before nursery? Any tips more than welcome. Wondering if I've made a mistake saying I'll go full time.

Baby will Get ill, there’s no way around it. My oldest had a stream of things during the first year of nursery and then nothing. I mean nothing at all. She’s just left school and she had two days off school sick in 13 years , so she has a very good immune system.

Make sure your husband does ALL the sick days as he seems to be being remarkably unhelpful and uncooperative with everything else.

MN is full of husband’s who have these special jobs with no flexibility at all on anything and work in companies with no women employees and no other parents or anyone with any caring responsibilities and which are not covered by UK employment law.

It’s all bollocks of course. What these men mean is “ I’m not willing to ask for any flexibility in case it adversly affects my career. And I don’t care enough about my wife to limit the damage to her career.” It’s all very selfish .

If your employer is allowing you to work your hours over four days I think it’s very unfair to expect them to also give you time off when baby is sick just so your husband and his employers have to make no concessions at all (different if you are a single parent ).

Clothes for nursery - no you don’t need anything special, just nothing new or expensive or fussy. . I kept a huge bag of cheap and cheerful clothes at nursery , mostly t shirts / tunics and leggings/ joggers. Easy for staff to change, comfortable for baby and I didnt care if ( when ) they got lost or covered with paint / glue / food.

I work 37 hours over 4 days. 07.30-17.15.

It's not the easiest and I can be exhausted after a long shift

I went back full-time in the days when mat leave was 6 months, so DD was six months or so when I returned to my 40-hour-a-week job.

I breast-fed until she was 14 months old because she refused formula. I went part-time when she was 2.5 as DH was away on business most weeks and I was knackered.

My DH does 5 days over 4, and I do 30 hours over 4 but with a long commute (so out 6 - 6).

This works really well. My baby had cut back to breast feeding only morning and evening by the time I started back. He did regress and start reverse cycling for a few months, but we sorted it out pretty quickly.

I'd recommend a day off mid week. 4 days in a row is a long week if you are feeding multiple times overnight and having long work days. A Wednesday off means you only ever have to do that 2 days in a row.

My DH works from home a lot to fit his hours in more easily.

Our nursery does tea, and we find he does need something else to eat when he gets home. Some days he would be starving. We used to give him snacks, but now we eat our dinner earlier and give him a small portion. So I'd recommend a slow cooker for food you can cook quickly and easily.

I do it. I’ve been back full time for over a year and on the whole it’s been fine, and definitely the right decision for me.

I used my accrued annual leave to start off going back 3 days a week and then 4, before I was doing 5 days. It was good to ease myself back in. I also WFH one day per week so I can work a longer day and don’t get distracted - I manage a big team. It helps me to feel like I’m on top of things and I don’t have to deal with the commute.

I actually found on starting nursery, DD actually slept better for a while - only 4 months of her life when she actually has!!

I find it frustrating the number of people who are surprised I work FT with a toddler. It’s entirely possible and manageable if you want to do it. I’m pregnant with DC2 and will have the added benefit of full time mat pay and I fully intend to go back to work again afterwards.

If you have a day off a week it massively helps. I’m full time out of house from 7.30 til 7 everyday with commute 1.47 each way. Work unpaid overtime in evenings, weekends and on annual leave. Pay is rubbish but no choice. Never home to eat dinner with kids. Too knackered at weekends to do much with them. No flex at my allowed. I have ad hoc informal arrangement to work from home occasionally one day a week. When that happens it feels like Christmas. Would love 4 days.

It's possible but you may want to consider switching to bottle feeding. If you end up getting at night to breastfeed her you will be too tired to work properly.

Not my experience at all and I think it's very wrong for people to give advice "stop breastfeeding" to a woman who's asking how to manage it.

Some babies wake at night to feed at 12 months (although not most in my limited experience - certainly my BF child wasn't waking for night feeds at that age), some don't. Either way she can still BF morning and bedtime and offer a bottle of expressed milk or formula overnight IF that's an issue without stopping BF entirely.

I went back fulltime when mine were 11 months, it was ok.

Remember that you have a right to breaks to express milk (and stock up on breast pads - I found that I leaked milk whenever I thought about my dc).

Children are honestly very adaptable.

I returned to work 4 days a week when my son was 13 months old. Continued breastfeeding on demand on the days he was with me and morning and night on the other days until he was 2 years 3 months and I was pregnant again. At 2 years i went back up to 5 days and my husband went to 4 days. Currently pregnant with number 2 son (going in for induction later today) and after a year’s maternity leave I will go back 5 days a week. My husband is dropping down to 3 days a week and the bogus will go to nursery Tuesday to Thursday. It’s totally doable but you might struggle to find a nursery who will accommodate a place every second Friday, unless you can match up with a parent wanting the alternate Friday or are prepared to pay for the day she’s not there. Otherwise they end up holding a place open and not getting paid.

And I wouldn't stop breastfeeding. I continued until mine were around 18 months when it stopped naturally (gave expressed milk in bottles when at work). I found it really important to keep that connection when I was away from them more.

With both DC I went back to work full time when they were 10m old. Yes it’s hard but certainly very dooable. I was lucky that I can work from home regular. DC still went to nursery but it was easier as I could pull on jeans, nursery was 10mins away etc. I love my job and we need the money.
I went back 4 days a week for a few weeks using up accrued leave and I make sure I take a day a year of leave just for me. Otherwise I take all my leave with the DC. I also work flexitime.
It’s dooable but I know my set up is very flexible. If kids are ill I can always work from home and I schedule wfh on days like school plays, sports day etc. DH is self employed do that helps too.

I didn't 40 hours over 5 days for
When DD was 4.5 months old (before mat leave increased) and she went to nursery. She was still mostly bf, but we introduced mixed feeding bottles (some formula, some expressed). I was able to pump at lunch daily at work and use that next day for Creche.

Ruthless organisation.

Empty out the bag and refill asap when you get in at night (changing clothes, adding nappies, emptying bottles and refilling formula container - the bottles. Of water or milk were sorted later etc).

Try and leave dinner either cooking on a timer or ready to just turn on and Cook when you get in - prep veg etc the night before and do some batch cooking like slag Bol, chilli, curries etc when you can for freezer ( I do a double batch of something on Sundays for Monday and freeze the second half for another night next week).

Lay out clothes for you both the night before. Lay out breakfast things too. And make any lunches you are making and pop them I. The fridge overnight.

I got to 10 months morning feed and dream feed before we dropped bf. (I went back to uni and got too worn out). Give yourself enough time in the mornings for the feed, and either get dressed but pop dressing gown over you, or do it before getting yourself dressed.

Invest in a travel mug too, for a hot tea/coffee while commuting and keeping up the necessarily fluids.

It takes organisation but is perfectly do able!

I work 40 over 4 days, its doable but the first 6 months is really hard.

Its all about preparation. Batch cooking so you dont have to make dinner each night. Make sure washing machine is loaded once a day ect ect...

For the most part it works but there is a part of me who wishes they could be a stay at home mum for a couple of years.

Please excuse typos - am on phone on bumpy train

It’s hard when they’re little but yes you can do it. I’ve always worked ft. Gets easier as they get older

With mine I did end up dropping the morning feed. One less thing to do in morning. Didn't need to switch to bottle at that age though. You will find your routine and enjoy days off even more

Another one saying you can definitely do it. I do 35 hours over 4 days, out the house for 7.30 and back at 6. We have two kids in nursery now doing long days and they are both very happy. They get breakfast and tea there but will often want food before leaving and more when they get home.
Our situation is a bit easier though as my husband does a lot of the drop offs / pick ups and he also condenses his hours so he has a day off a week with them too.
You definitely need to make sure your husband takes his share of time off when baby is sick.
I carried on breastfeeding both - the first reverse cycled and fed constantly in the night. It was really, really tough. I eventually night weaned at 15 months which made it easier. My second didn't bother too much so it was a lot easier. She's 16 months now and feeds morning / night and in the day when she's not at nursery.
Organisation is key! Making sure bags are packed, food is prepped, clothes are laid out etc. You will find your routine pretty quickly just make sure your partner is doing his share!

Yes - I went back when DS was 8 weeks. Hard but needed. DP took shared leave and we managed. I cut short all outside social life sans baby apart from in work so I literally went from home to work and back again. Holiday was used to keep my weeks short - 4 instead of 5 so I didn't lose any pay. BF and expressing was hard but I gradually cut it down so by 6 months he was off the boob completely. I also over expressed a lot and had a full months supply in the freezer

Forgot to say that we arranged our working hours so DS goes to nursery 1 day a week and we are there the remaining 6 days

This thread is really interesting, I'm currently pregnant with DS1 so nursery is a whole new world to me.

Looking at it, we won't be better of even if I go back to work full time, my wages will cover the cost of nursery and thats it. Has anyone else found the same thing?

Some great advice on this thread.

Absolutely doable OP, getting everything organised the night before makes things so much easier in the morning. I went back 4 days a week, DS thrived in nursery, it was a happy place with lovely staff which eased my guilt.

The one drawback is the amount of bugs they pick up initially. However DS is now in school and has the constitution of an ox, I can't remember the last time he had a day off school with sickness.

Depends on your commute and the flexibility of your employer. Definitely doable but very stressful - lots of clock watching, juggling and rushing about.

I agree with this. If you don’t need to go back part time don’t- it’s not worth the extra stress and hassle

I returned FT after a year and still breastfed on getting home/bedtime/night for some time, but DD was only in nursery for two days due to family help. The first year was awkward with a lot of (new kid) illnesses so I had to take days off to cover.

I'm lucky that I live very close to work and boss accommodating for short notice leave; things I really value and worth remembering every time I look for other jobs.

You can work FT and breastfeed, I've done it twice. Good luck and try not to worry.

Looking at it, we won't be better of even if I go back to work full time, my wages will cover the cost of nursery and thats it. Has anyone else found the same thing?

Yes. My wages only just cover nursery (but I am part time).

That's fine though. Money for childcare is family money and I've chosen to carry on working for reasons beyond making ££ (staying on career ladder and maintaining sanity for a start).