...to think it's possible to go back to work full time after mat leave?

[Jumperoux]

Would work 37 hours over 4 days with DD in nursery. Every other week she would be in nursery on the 5th day of the week so I can do overtime. She'll be 12 months and a bit.

Please give me your best tips. I'm hoping to still be breastfeeding morning/bedtime. I've heard that without daytime feeds then babies can start waking more in the night when mother goes back to work? And the idea of leaving the house for 7:20 fills me with dread. Will I be expected to give her breakfast before nursery? Any tips more than welcome. Wondering if I've made a mistake saying I'll go full time.

nothing in your post worries me except the lack of back-up care options - we've got a similar setup (DH works long, unpredictable hours and travels, no family around), and i too was desperate to go back to work and continue with pushing ahead with my career BUT I'll admit, I found it very hard because my first DD got sick so often the first winter at nursery, it ruined my credibility in the (new) work place (that, and having to be out the door immediately at 5).

I've got 2 DC now, I've ploughed on working ft+ for 7 long years and my career is going ok but do think very seriously if you do want to spend your children's young years working long hours - I've found I've missed them more and more over time - if you really do, that's great, I'm not sure I called it correctly, for myself. Also perhaps it's not something you can know before you know!

I'm doing it and continuing to BF (15 mo old). We do a morning feed, a big one just after nursery, and a bedtime feed. The first few weeks were hard, but now it really works for us. No extra night waking.

Word of warning. If you go back four days a week you’ll be treated as a part timer.

I work allegedly 80%. In reality 40 hours a week still and my career is fucked.

You can do it and bf - I did

This thread is giving me hope. I am day 4 of FT work and on day one I got a call saying she was poorly and could I come and get her. Very lucky to have some family support who really stepped up but hoping it’s going to be a few tough weeks and then we will find our groove. Have felt like a failure for 4 days so glad to hear it should pass!

I did it - doing it now! Went back to work full time a few weeks back when DS was 11 months. it’s a rush mornings and evenings but it’s feasible and DS loves playing at the nursery. DH helps a lot though (we share drop off and pick ups). I do two days working from home though which helps with logistics. Would your work accept flexible working?
He eats breakfast at the nursery and dinner at home when I pick him up.
I still bf morning and evening and his sleep hasn’t actually been affected much by the nursery/time apart - but it has been affected by the germs there! He’s had a runny nose for two weeks now and while it’s getting better, he’s been waking some nights cause it bothers him. I am told this is completely normal and I should expect lots of little cold etc in the first months... he also gets tired and of cranky at night some times but I think he is slowly getting used to it. You can do it!

They’ll give her breakfast in nursery. Don’t worry, everything will be fine! She won’t need more feeds at night when you bf less during the day.

I did it with twins
My advice is to be organised with nursery clothes
Online food shopping and forget housework
Good luck. It is hard but sometimes there isn’t really a choice

There are some people on here who are saying that all their baby's meals are taken at nursery. Why not reduce your hours at least for a few years? It seems very cruel unless you really have no choice

Cleaner = £20 a week
Rent/mortgage = a lot more

Most people work to cover their living expenses. I don’t know anyone who sends their child to nursery so that they can afford a cleaner. It’s offensive to suggest that they do. That extra twenty quid or so a week isn’t going to pay the mortgage, is it? Being at work will.

@carefreeeee - the 1950s called. They want you back.

Jiggly hahaha

It’s totally possible! You will be fine. I work full time, have 2 dcs and I’m pregnant with my 3rd. I’m in the US so went back to work at 12 weeks with both babies. I pumped at work and managed to bf for about a year with each. It all seems so daunting but you will get into a groove and make it work.

There are some people on here who are saying that all their baby's meals are taken at nursery. Why not reduce your hours at least for a few years? It seems very cruel unless you really have no choice

What if you're a shite cook?

My son is at nursery part time but I assure you he has a much better time there than he does with me!

I have said it many times but will say it again. Your DH needs to step up. I have never come across a mother whose goes are too long to do drop offs/ pick ups but for men it seems to be common scenario . I couldn't do both but to be able to do neither is .

If you really are doing all the drop offs (which personally I think is ridiculous) then he needs to do his bit in other ways (organising, cooking etc) rather than leaving everything to you. I work FT I have 2 DC of school age but DH does his share.

Hours not goes

Why on earth have a child??

ODFOD. At least the OP won't be bringing hers up to be judgemental of others choices. And no one ever has a go at men for working FT, why is that?

We do it (albeit with a childminder as no nurseries in our hour open early enough). All 3 of us get up at 6, having got everything ready the night before, and leave the house at 655. I work 36 hours over 4 days with a 1.5 hour each way commute. DW does all drop offs and pick ups as she works 5 days with a 15 minute commute. DS did reverse cycle and in the end DW gave up breastfeeding at 14 months. The sickness is probably the hardest bit. In 2 months he has missed a week for chickenpox, and three other occasions of either being sent home or not being allowed in. Both of us have been quite worried about the work impact and have had to share the time off

I work FT and have been at my desk a half hour now leaving home at 7am. I returned to work when my DS was 7mths and was finishing being BF. I won't lie, it's really, really hard and getting used to a full days work as well as sleepless nights and even more to do at home has taken me the best part of 2yrs! Cutting my hours just wasn't an option. Nursery will fed your child all day long IME so this shouldn't be an issue however being organised is. There will be times when it feels impossible but it really isn't and I am glad my son knows that I go out to work so we can have the life we do. My DP however works different hours to mine so we can split care limiting the amount of time my DS spends at CM.

I went back when my dd was 5 months.

I'm a single mum so I went for the combination of a live in and nursery. As your career takes off and if you can afford it having a live in is fantastic in terms of school runs and your ability to be flexible with work. Mine does all the washing and cooking in the week too.

Might not be the answer now, but have a think about it, it's not as expensive as it sounds as you don't need fully qualified nanny when they get to a certain age, my dd has massively benefitted from this situation

Totally doable op. I went back when ds was 9 months and dd was 10 months. It can be hard to juggle things when they're ill (and for the first year they're in childcare they get ill A LOT) so I agree that the key is to have a dh who pulls his weight both around the house and with the kids. A little planning and organisation and all will be fine.

The guilt can be hard, so posters like carefreeee sticking the boot in don't help. But thankfully I've not come across too many of those irl (none in fact). Even if you're not skint and don't need the money, don't feel bad about working! You don't have to justify your decision to anyone. You won't be damaging your child, as plenty of us who have somehow managed to raise kind, helpful, happy, confident dc will tell you. It's not cruel to allow them to develop healthy relationships with other people because you want or need to work.

Carefree' post

Perfectly possible. I went back to work ft when ds was 4 months old (all the mat leave you got back then) and continued breastfeeding. I was fortunate though in that I was used to expressing (ds had been initially slow to gain weight so for a while I'd been giving him every 2nd feed as EBM and once we were happy with his weight gain, I continued with the habit and built up a store in the freezer) and that work allowed me to use the 1st Aid room to go and express, plus time for expressing. (Stored it in a bag in the work fridge).

Went on to breastfeed ds for 13 months (weaned at 4.5 months because I didn't know better )

Didn't have to leave the house as early as you though - could drop ds off at 8 (childminder was literally the house next door ) and pick up at 5.30/5.45

I did have to go to London regularly on business which meant early starts/late returns but dh then did the drop off/pick up.

Babies are amazingly resilient. If the childminder/nursery is a nurturing environment, they'll be happy. Ds would go in with a smile and come out with a smile. That's all that matters.

Of course it is. Isn't that the norm? At least with only one dc. You're lucky you can do it over 4 days. I did ft over 5 days when dd was 5 months old. It was fine. Breakfast at nursery yes! They get used to the long days and also they get to nap and have chill out time at nursery.