...to think it's possible to go back to work full time after mat leave?

[Jumperoux]

Would work 37 hours over 4 days with DD in nursery. Every other week she would be in nursery on the 5th day of the week so I can do overtime. She'll be 12 months and a bit.

Please give me your best tips. I'm hoping to still be breastfeeding morning/bedtime. I've heard that without daytime feeds then babies can start waking more in the night when mother goes back to work? And the idea of leaving the house for 7:20 fills me with dread. Will I be expected to give her breakfast before nursery? Any tips more than welcome. Wondering if I've made a mistake saying I'll go full time.

I went back full time at 9 months, but did condensed days (working through lunch) in order to do all the drop offs and pick ups (London commute so 90 mins each way). You settle into a rhythm quickly. Oh and I continued bf (still am at 21 months) but DS has always been a poor sleeper so the extra wakes because he was missing me/milk (he wouldn't take a bottle during the day) were just par for the course. If you're someone who needs their sleep, especially with that many hours over 4 days, weaning might be easier on you - but do what you feel right doing, don't get pressured by anyone else! Good luck.

Oh and the biggest shock to the system especially if you return to work in winter is the sheer level of sickness so make sure your employer is supportive for the inevitable time you'll need off! I was off with a poorly DS on my second and third days back...

I did it too, DD was 10 months and I was expressing at lunchtime until she was just over 1. I would bf in the morning before I left. She didn't want breakfast at home but would have weetabix at nursery at around 8. She would have expressed milk at around 10 am and at 3 then I'd bf her when I collected her at about 5pm and again before bed. It was a nice way to reconnect after time apart.
I won't lie, I was knackered and it felt like i ran everywhere. I'm expecting baby 2 and this time I will do things like an online shop and get a cleaner so that I actually get some rest.

Once you get in to a routine it’s fine. Knackering but fine. DS is 20 months and I’ve been full time since he turned one.
He keeps a bag full of clothes changes at Nursery that gets washed whenever needed (I’ve bought clothes especially for Nursery that I keep separate so stay on top of that).
Up at 6am to get myself ready, DS wakes at 6:45. Take time to get him ready while DH sorts himself out (we take turns as to who gets up first to get ready) and out the door at 7:20 to get to Nursery as it opens at 7:30.
He has breakfast there and all other meals and snacks and DH or I collect him at 6pm.
It’s tough and took a few weeks to get in to the swing of things but now the mornings go like clockwork.
The idea seems more daunting than the reality, particularly if it’s something that you have to do.

Those are long hours just to get one Friday off a fortnight. Is a more usual spread not possible? Is the overtime essential? You will manage if you need to but it will be a shock to both your systems at the start.

Have you got nursery sorted? You'll be doing over 9 hour days, plus lunch, breaks, commute to nursery etc - you'll need a nursery that's open say 7-7? That's the first thing.

That's quite an ask - long days for you and baby. Don't under estimate the time it'll take you to get organised for the next day - clothes, nursery bag, food etc. You're putting yourself under quite a lot of pressure.

Of course it's doable but it'll be tough!

Full time of 5 days is hard but with organisation completely possible. Condensing 37 in to 4 days does sound brutal though! Very early starts and long days.....
Does it have to be over 4 days rather that 5?

Of course you can.

I went back full time (proper full time, five full days) when DS was 11.5 months. I breastfed him til he was 2. As long as you have the childcare sorted you'll be fine!

What a load of nonsense regarding stopping breastfeeding! I don't know anyone who stopped just because they returned to work, especially with a 12 month old.

Op, reverse cycling (upping milk intake at night) isn't a guarantee and isn't linked to hunger. Especially at that age. Mine were all night waking long before I returned to work and I carried on breastfeeding for long after.

You'll be fine. the thought is worse than the deed.

Though look into flexible working for the school run!

Of course it’s possible, I did it three times. But if you can possibly afford it make your life easier by getting a nanny instead of using a nursery. I was all set to send DC1 to nursery, was doing the introductory day, and in passing the nursery manager said “… and of course if she’s poorly enough to need Calpol she’ll have to stay at home.” It was winter, she was teething, she was mainlining Calpol. The nanny we hired cost 150 pounds a month more than than the nursery fee, was wonderful, stayed with us for 12 years, and didn’t cost (much) more when we added DCs2&3. It was the best 150 quid I’ve ever spent.

Thanks all. Loads to think about. Really appreciate it.

Good idea about using accrued leave to prolong a bit. I'm so daunted by it all.

Unfortunately DH can't help with nursery run. He works long and unpredictable hours so we chose a nursery convenient for my commute and hours. Fortunately they're being very accommodating with letting me book for 2 Fridays in 4. The overtime is what always used to pay for our holidays, now who knows?! Family not an option for us.

I'm not the breadwinner but I will be if I can put enough in over the next few years. Hopefully DH will then be able to take on more parenting - his role is v demanding but not well paid.

We have a cleaner already. Basically the only luxury I was determined to keep throughout mat leave! I love cooking so am hoping it doesn't become a chore. Nursery say they will give DD 'tea'. Will I need to feed her an evening meal as well? She'll be there 7:30-6:00.

I'm joining a new team and one thing I am quite stressed about is never being able to stay late because of childcare. It doesn't happen often but when it happens it's really important. There's a chance DH will be available but never predictably.

Child illness is unpaid "special leave" up to 15 days a year before HR escalation. Think this is quite a good deal? Although hoping she will have some sort of force field and not get ill. DH can do sick days too - his job is worse in that he can't finish early but better in that it's easier/more straightforward for him not to go in at all.

Why will I need special clothes for nursery? Or just for peace of mind that she always has clothes there?

The nursery seem quite pragmatic and will administer Calpol, Nurofen, Piriton, antibollox if we say so and sign a waiver.

I did it although I was back at work much earlier. By 12 months was BF morning and bedtime and baby had expressed milk or eventually cows milk during the day. Worked fine and fully stopped BF at 17 months.

I went back to work FT when dd was 6 months old. I or her dad packed her bags for the childminder the night before, and I bfd her whenever I was in the house with, so in the morning before leaving for work at 7.15, when I got home at 5.30, and again before bed. She was still bf until she was 15 months old, when she stopped of her own volition.
You just need to be organised - it genuinely surprises me how many women return to work part time after having babies - there's no way we could run our household if I reduced my salary significantly, so it was full time or bust!

I went back full time. As a couple of other pp have said, I would rather do 5 more normal length days than the 4 very long days, so really think that over. It's all very well pushing yourself to get the hours done in 4 days if then on the Friday with your child you are too exhausted to do anything or enjoy it.

Other harsh advice: you say your DH's job is demanding and unpredictable but not fantastically well paid. Worst of all worlds for new parents. I can only advise you to get him to start saying no to anything extra from here on. If he's thinking he may ditch it in a few years anyway and you'll be the breadwinner, then he needs to prioritise now in favour of his family, and not be the mug who takes on every crappy shift, every extra task because he always has done. Shifting towards a mindset of doing his hours and leaving will seem uncomfortable but will be better for you and the baby.

Absolutely possible and in my case unavoidable - I didn't have an OH on hand to share child care - I'd left him before I knew I was pregnant.

I did however have parents who were my child care so very lucky in that respect - If I didn't have that I would have still have had no choice but to go back to work and pay childcare - how else would I have provided for my son?

Of course it is possible to go back full time, but I think you will be making it harder for yourself to try to work 1.25 day each and every day.
10 .5 hours is a LONG day for a little one to be in Nursery each day.

I went back full time when my son was 2 months old. We had a nanny so he was looked after in his own home and a cleaner and my office was a 5 minute walk from home. I am not sure I would have coped with a nursery and a commute.

Yes, it is possible and you'll be fine. I went back full time to a travelling sales role when my first was 5.5 months and will be doing the same with my second in a couple of months. We are out of the house by 7.30 every morning and I pick her up around 5:30. Have everything you can ready the night before. They have all three meals at nursery then so you don't need to worry about feeding her an evening meal. I did always find mine was hungry afterwards though so she'd have a snack. Not much other advice but just wanted to reassure you that it is possible and that you'll settle into a routine really quickly. I love the balance we have. We play a bit in the morning and a couple of hours after nursery and the stuff she does there is fantastic. She loves it and 10h is not too long at all to be there.

Yes it isn’t possible.

• I would give milk in the morning and sometimes breakfast depending on what time DD1 woke up (was an early riser!)
• I showered the night before
• nursery spare cheap clothes left at nursery and only changed when needed
• I would make my breakfast the night before and have it in work (overnight oats a life saver!)
• snacks ready for DD1 after nursery - she usually wouldn’t want a full meal but I would have fruit/porridge/toast in the house if needed
• I had stopped BF but know others who still were and think they just did morning/night feed and it worked ok

Good luck!! I remeber really worrying how we would do it but you get in a routine and it’s fine.

Oops!! Yes it IS possible!!

I did it, DS went to nursery at 3 months. However, I wasn't breastfeeding. It was a massive rush in the morning to get everything sorted but we coped - I don't know how when I look back now!

Of course you can, she's nearly a year old!
I went back to work full time when dd1 was 4 months old. ...and after emcs! Had a 50 Mile round commute as well I don't know what I was thinking
I was still bf her and continued to do so morning and evening until she was 11 mths Old, when she decided she'd had enough
She was in a good routine with cm so I never noticed a difference with her sleeping habits....only for first few weeks my boobs would be in agony by 4pm! and I'd rush home to feed her!
this was the good old 1990 s when there were fewer maternity rights and no place at work to express
You'll become very organised!

Da1: back to work full time at 7 months, breast fed til 12 months

Ds2: back to work 4 days a week at 7 months, still feeding at 19 months.

Nights have never been good for either, but nursery didn’t really impact either way.

Good luck!

I have no experience of working FT with a baby.

However, I am surprised that some people are suggesting you stop breastfeeding. I would have thought it well worth continuing if at all possible, given the immune benefits from even one BF a day. Given all the illnesses your LO will be exposed to at nursery, and the PITA it will be for you to miss work when she gets ill, surely it makes sense to do whatever you can to reduce her susceptibility.

I haven't read all posts.
I went back to college full time and continued breast feeding. She wanted a feed as soon as she saw me and another later that evening. One feed during the night and one at 6am. She had breakfast at 9am at my friend's who was minding her and had a bottle / cup during the day. It worked much better than I ever expected. I fed her until she was about 15 mths when she decided to give up.
I had three other children to get off to school so it was a struggle. I picked everything ready the night before so I just picked it up to go. I also tried to put clothes out so no thinking about what to wear. This was also the 90's😊