If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

[apintofmilk]

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

And I'd like to point out that it is actually quite easy and cheap to make both stuffing and Yorkshire pudding...

Is your mum generally stingy?
I think chickens is right - she needs help dishing up!

I hear you OP. If there isn’t enough it should always be the hosts who go without something. Or it is in my house.

Still you’ve made your feelings clear about being the bottom of the pile. It’s what happens afterwards is what’s important. It isn’t really about the food.

They were those sausage meat stuffing balls? Not sure if they're child friendly or not. But it's irrelevant as they weren't actually offered any

I'd sacrifice alot for my children but I would have to draw the line at roast potatoes. That is a line that must not be crossed.

Your dm should have made some home made Yorkshire puddings .

Tomo op go to The Toby and send lots of pics to your family.
I have suddenly got an extra for Sunday (late) dinner and have done extra veg and more YP. Can't imagine selecting which ds to deprive at the table!!

You can't force a kid to eat something though.

As a parent of a very fussy 2 year old, I do understand that. However I don't give said 2 year old my dinner to make up for what they won't eat on their plate, it's counter productive for one thing. Then again, I don't believe in making a big deal about food, I try to make nice-but-balanced meals and what is eaten is eaten. Worst thing you can do in life is make food a contentious issue, that goes for adults as well.

I don't understand how you invite people to lunch and only cook 3 yorkshire puddings and 2 stuffing balls - bizarre

OP says they were just odd bits left in the freezer that needed eating so mother bunged them in the oven. I do stuff like that, wait until I have a few gutbuckets round to get rid of little bits I might have.
It sounds a bit faffy to cut them all up carefully and equally.

I'd also rather have 5 different veg than Yorkshires and stuffing though. I don't think that's unusual. Is it?

Maybe her mum hadn't got any milk or eggs. Maybe she struggled to feed them all. Maybe they could have taken some food with them or offered to help.

You can't blame your parents for you deciding to give away your roast potato.

I'd be mortified to have my family tip toe around me because I got annoyed about stuffing and Yorkshire puddings.

Cook for yourself next week and you can gorge to your heart's content!

As a parent of a very fussy 2 year old, I do understand that. However I don't give said 2 year old my dinner to make up for what they won't eat on their plate, it's counter productive for one thing

Confirming that vegetables are indeed, inedible.

I'd also rather have 5 different veg than Yorkshires and stuffing though. I don't think that's unusual. Is it? I'd quite happily have the veg, and potatoes, and do without the Yorkshires, stuffing and chicken.

You were Hangry.

I used to organise corporate events as part of my jb and we had a saying “family feeds last”, meaning my colleague and I would only have something to eat once we’d seen the guests had all had enough. I think this applies to hosting at home too. You may have over-reacted but I think your family were really rude.

You say both you and your sister are on a diet. Have you got more to lose than her? Do you think your parents are bothered about your weight?

You do seem very food focused, you say your parents dished up five types of boiled vegetables plus meat and roast potatoes but you don't think that was enough?

But surely if they'd come out at the start of the meal and said "we've got stuffing and yorkshires but not enough for everyone so can you sort it out amongst yourselves" then that would have been fine.

YANBU- I agree with ^This

I'll get accused of drip feeding now... but I supplied veg that the kids WILL eat weeks ago. They'll eat sweet potato wedges, and those aunt Bessie sweet potato and normal potato Stars, and they'll eat mini corn on the cob. So I took a load up a few weeks ago. When I got there tonight I asked if she'd put any veg in the oven for the kids or boiled some corn on the cob and she said no because she'd had to bring the roast forward by 30 mins so my sister and her husband could meet friends after so they were in a rush.
So once again it comes down to me being bottom of the pile. If she'd not pandered to my sister then the kids could have had veg (that I had provided) and would not have even had to have my bloody roast potato. But that's pretty standard in my life to be honest.

I think people on here are too busy making fun of OP when there MAY be a bigger issue here? Emotional abuse doesn’t just come from partners.

My family are like this. It’s lots of tiny little things that are done to hurt you, but are so tiny that nobody else will pick up on. And if you mention each or any of these ‘little things’, you get accused of over reacting & get laughed at. Over the years, these ‘little things’ that make people roll their eyes, cumulate and can cause deeper issues.

I'm thinking that they gave to your sister as you had been on about your diet?

They also went without.

You weren’t at a restaurant Op, you were at someone’s house. The lack of respect you shower, no less to your mum, was appalling. How are planning to apologise?

It doesn't sound as if there was enough potatoes for everyone either, are they short of money it is there another reason for this? Do they have any odd ideas about food? Has this been passed onto you to OP because describing any food as "naughty is a bit worrying.

RavingRoo, your post is raving.

She's got nothing to apologise for. How horrible to be repeatedly treated less than other family members.

Neither of us are massively overweight. Im about 9lb over a healthy bmi and my sister about a stone over. So pretty similar. I'm just at the stage where I'm struggling to get into my size 12 jeans so want to lose a bit for xmas.
But anyway, it's like I've said before, it's just the last in a long line of things they've said or done which appear tiny, but really sting.

Sorry, hadn't seen your last post.

OP has already said her parent's aren't strapped for cash, but surely they could afford this:
groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Morrisons-12-Yorkshire-Puddings/111372011?dnr=y

£1 a pack of 12, that's just 8.3p per Yorkie...