If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

[apintofmilk]

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

It's not about the bloody roast is it op!
It's about being treated as if you are not important in the family - as has happened before.

Why not boil a kettle and quickly cook the sweet corn?

It sounds like she was flustered and stessed - did anyone help her cook?

Maybe she forgot the potato stars where in the freezer

The only way to get exactly what you want is to host yourself sadly

It doesn't sound as if there was enough potatoes for everyone either, are they short of money it is there another reason for this

It does sound to me like this is about portion sizes as much as anything else. Some people's idea of normal can look gargantuan to some, and frugal to others. I'm stuffed when I come away from my NDN and would have probably left the pud and the stuffing - and have been know to buy a bag of chips on the way home from my mils where a lack of substance would have made me hangry.

Well, after years and years of digs and being left out and treated different I wanted to know impartially whether I was being unreasonable.
So general consensus is that I wasn't being unreasonable to be annoyed about how food was dished out but I was annoyed to have had a strop and flounced.

So I basically said I was always at the bottom of the fucking pile and sick of getting treated differently.

This is your problem. You believe your parents don't value you in the same way as everyone else. Today you saw it expressed with food.

Why bother going op - you'd have a much nicer time at home - I speak as the least favourite child who gave up trying to change that ages ago

There's two very different glaring issues here.

1. You obviously feel undervalued and undermined by your family/parents in general. It's very likely been grating for years, but snapping over a roast dinner will not solve anything. You need to find a more adult way of addressing poor behaviour towards you.

1. You need to address your issues over food. It is not for others to have to make up for a pause your diet fad with 'nice food', or to bend over catering to your fussy children (yes even if you have provided their favourite carbs). This attitude isn't healthy and you're not setting a great precedent for the future. Will you be handing over potatoes and corn to their friend's families in future to make sure they always have what they want on their plates?

She was only bloody stressed as sister had called up an hour before food was served to ask for dinner to be bought forward by 30 mins. Luckily the chicken was cooked but she did have to wait 10 mins for the veg.

Get over yourself! It’s stuffing and Yorkshire pud!! You’re not a starving refugee , you missed out on a Yorkie!!

Jeezo it’s a Yorkshire pudding and a bit of stuffing, just be grateful someone cooked you a meal.

I wish this was the only problem I had in my life.

The thing is, if there’s a back story then the Yorkshire pudding issue can’t be considered independently. If this happened in my family it would be a one off/an oversight/not worth getting worked up about. That’s why so many posters have answered in that vein. When you add in a back story of being treated less well than the rest of your family then it becomes something entirely different.

You do know that Slimming world do not advise saving up syns, don't you? It leads to disappointment and failure. It certainly lead to disappointment in your case.

I absolutely get it OP. Last time I stayed at my mums she cooked a massive breakfast for DH and DS. And when I questioned where mine was she said there wasn't enough for everyone. She could easily have shared the food out. I kicked off too.

Sigh - this is crazy. Life is just too short frankly.

Just think how many sins you have saved for the week ahead by missing out.

I'd be grateful if my parents ever invited my DC's and I over for a meal, never mind getting huffy about a Yorkshire..

Oh give it a rest with the competitive suffering. My mum AND my brother are both dead, and if they came back they could have all my yorkshires and stuffing! But that doesn't change the fact that the OP was treated unfairly, seemingly not for the first time.

I think a few people are projecting about the parents' potential poverty - OP has said they have a decent income.

I've not specifically saved up syns. I've been really good all week and only had a few syns a day. Today I planned to use all 15 syns and if I went slightly over then I'd just use flexi syns. Which is all fine. But when you've saved syns all day to account for something, and then everyone else gets that but you don't and people just hoped you wouldn't notice, then yeah I got upset.
So 2 issues basically, I had been salivating over the thought of a nice roast dinner, which I didn't get... and then I realised that other people had been treated differently to me.

I'm clutching at straws here (hopefully)
Could it be that they think the world of you and just thought that you genuinely wouldn't mind having less? It sounds like your parents also went without.

@TinklyLittleLaugh yes yes yes!!! You get me!

I am quite surprised you feel so strongly about this to talk about it on Mumsnet. PMS is very real-I feel your pain

I absolutely get it OP. Last time I stayed at my mums she cooked a massive breakfast for DH and DS. And when I questioned where mine was she said there wasn't enough for everyone

Mil does this regularly, only she 'does' have enough. She just thinks it's only men who have big protein breakfasts and the ladies have cereal. I generally steal a rasher and a sausage off dh and make a sandwich. He doesn't mind. He seriously doesn't need the calories.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all op.

Your dh should have given you half of his too.

Wouldn't have even been so bad if it was just the men that got extra. But all the guests had extra bar me

Wouldn't have even been so bad if it was just the men that got extra. But all the guests had extra bar me

And your parents?

My parents aren't guests. They decided to put the food in from the freezer knowing there wasn't enough for everyone. If I had done the same then the hosts (me and my husband) would have gone without, and I would have divided the extras up for the guests.