If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

[apintofmilk]

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

I didn't have a full on melt down. Like stated before I asked where mine were and was told there wasn't enough for everyone. I asked whether they had considered sharing more fairly or cutting some in half and just got told "no". I stated I was sick of being bottom of the pile and that it makes me look like an idiot when they treat me like that, and I went and sat in the sitting room until they'd finished pudding and I left. There was no screaming or hysterical wailing going on.

Are your parents short of money? Four adults plus children arriving for Sunday lunch and they only do 3 Yorkshires and 3 stuffing balls seems odd unless they are hard up and if they are maybe you should all have contributed to the meal. I may be reading too much into it but had the GC to stay for half term and it doesn't seem to occur to their parents that 2 boys, one a teenager and one almost, eat an awful lot and pensioners can find it hard to provide enough. Good job my pension comes through on Tuesday as the cupboard is bare.

This is why you shouldn't diet. It creates an obsession with good and eventually you overeat again. Creates unhealthy relationships with nourishment.

Eat healthily, yes. I've lost a significant amount of weight and maintained it for ten years, pregnancy aside. But these fucking diets turn you into this kind of person.

YANBU. I'm surprised by the answers on here.

At first, I'd have said maybe they thought they were supporting you in your dieting efforts, but that doesn't make sense if your sister is on the same diet. I mean, I think it's a bit odd to invite people for a roast and then not have enough for everyone (unless there were some last minute / univited people they weren't expecting ??), but, having got to that situation, like you say they should have said so before serving up and asked you all what you wanted to do - either those on a diet to go without - as it would help - or as you suggest, either everyone has one or the other, or everyone has half.
Just 'deciding' that your sister can have both and you can have neither isn't right, and would make me question things to.

Is this calling Yorkshire Puddings a "Yorkie" an affected thing? Don't know anyone who would do this, it sounds horrible.

OP, sounds miserable but chicken and boiled veg is a decent meal and someone had to miss out on something but one each rather than three getting both things is a bit mean.

However pissed off I was and however poor I deemed the hosting, I can’t imagine ever ‘going mad’ over a Yorkshire pudding and some stuffing in front of my children and other family members. I’d be so embarrassed!

I don't like yorkshire pudding or stuffing. I'd love the veg & chicken. Those ARE the nice foods. Soundslike big fat set of sibling rivalry issues behind this, though.

I dunno, it's one meal, right? Make sure you supervise dishing up, next time.

But you weren’t in a restaurant. You weren’t paying for your food. You were kindly being hosted by your parents.

If there’s a larger issue, fine, discuss it with them in an adult fashion. Don’t act out like a badly behaved child.

Have a calm, private discussion about how it makes you feel. You are far more likely to affect change if you behave like an adult.

This is a very important detail I also wished to know about Norugratsatall

Is this calling Yorkshire Puddings a "Yorkie" an affected thing?

More like a regional thing I’d say. It’s used a lot where I’m from.

The potatoes are the best bit anyway.

It wasn't kind hosting though really. It sounds like it was quite bad hosting on several fronts.

• too - I can spell really.

What does 'an affected thing' mean Elephants ? It is pretty nrmal to call Yorkies, yorkies in all the circles I mix in.

YANBU, your mum is.

Yeah there were roast potatoes. But the kids stole most of mine as they're a bit fussy with boiled veg, and I wanted them to have some carbs rather than just a plate of chicken.

“No hysterical screaming”

Nope just a teenage flounce.

Did your children not get served their own roast potatoes?

I get you OP. I still remember the time I overheard my brother asking our gran if she had any crisps and her telling him that she did but to eat them in the kitchen and not tell me as there was only one packet. Had neither of them heard of sharing?
After my parents divorced she maintained contact with my brother but not with me.
Some people are juat very odd OP. It's tough when they're family.

Have mealtimes always been a bone of contention in your DM's home, when you were growing up and now that you have your own family?

I have lived in a lot of places and never heard them called that and affected, because whoever thinks it's cute or clever. It jars when I read it.

Not sure why you were so upset when you had a full on roast (meat, roast potatoes and veg) for free!! No outlay, no preparation - who cleared away & washed up?

Odd that your DH or siblings didn’t offer to share but perhaps they were worried about your reaction?

Forget it and move on.

Get a fucking grip.

What I've gathered from your OP is that you've said "numerous times" you were on a diet. Probably why your dinner limited.

They probably offered you dessert only because you kicked off.

Also I don't follow slimming world because it's ridiculous BUT I know enough about it from the women I work with to know that you're doing it wrong.

You can't save your syns up to have on one day. You're given syns to include in your day to teach you about portion control and not splurging/binging.

You sound hangry. A common side-effect of a complicated diet. I jest, but I'm the same. If I saw other people eating the food I really wanted and there wasn't any for me, I would feel the same irrational rage. Still doesn't make you reasonable.

Hope at least the diet is going well!

I don't understand how you invite people to lunch and only cook 3 yorkshire puddings and 2 stuffing balls - bizarre.

Yes the children (under 3s) got served a small roast potato each (almost new potato size) some chicken and lots of boiled veg. They ate their roasts potatoes and chicken but didn't touch the rest of their veg. So I cut up one of my roast potatoes for them to share. So I had chicken, veg and one small roast potato. My parents aren't big on roast potatoes, they'll do 5 types of boiled veg to go along side.