If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

[apintofmilk]

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

Even more of a disappointment when everyone gets nice food and I get nothing

It's genuinely not a diet issue. They offered me sticky toffee pudding and custard after as they were tip toeing coz they knew I was annoyed. I politely declined though

Yanbu! Surely the logical thing would be to give some people stuffing and others a Yorkshire.
Sounds from your op like this isn’t the first time you’ve felt bottom of the pile?

Yanbu.

It's rude to just assume that you wouldn't want them or wouldn't notice.

It's not that hard to make a few more puddings.

Even more of a disappointment when everyone gets nice food and I get nothing

The only one stopping you having 'nice food' is you. Diets don't work, you just end up sad and grumpy, spending all your time obsessing about each meal and 'syns'. You're better off learning moderation of 'nice foods' than eating absolutely healthy all week to earn yourself a bloody Yorkshire pudding and stuffing.

Thank you! I would have shared out fairly. And I don't want to drip feed but they've got form for doing similar in the past. I just find it incredibly rude and it makes me look like an idiot, like I'm considered less important than everyone else in the family.

It's just bad manners from your hostess.

She could have cut things in half if she didn't have enough for everyone.

Or asked if anyone didn't want one.

Big, big over reaction.

You didn't get anything to eat at all?!

You “went mad” at your parents in front of the children because you didn’t get a yorkshire pudding???

That’s appallingly rude behaviour. There’s no justification for that.

You could have said “oi where’s my yorkie?” Or “I get extra next time” or “more pudding for me then”

Regardless of the family dynamics you behaved like a spoilt teenager and ruined the meal for everyone. Wasn’t your DH mortified?

I don't think its an overreaction - its not actually about the stuffing and the Yorkshire pudding as such, its about sending the message that the needs of your (also dieting) sister, BIL and dh should be met before you.

If they have form for treating you differently, why do you go? Why not cook your own roast dinner, then you can eat what you want and not feel 2nd best?

Oh for goodness sakes. I've already said I had chicken and boiled veg. Highly exciting. But if you went to a restaurant for a roast and everyone else got extras on their plate and you just had chicken and boiled veg because there wasn't enough for everyone then you wouldn't kick up a fuss?

And he replied don't even think about it.

Your husband is the problem.

I get it, It's as much about the unfairness as the yorkshires. That would piss me off too. Is your sister normally their favorite?

It's not about favourites, it's about your diet surely? Yorkshires and stuffing taste so good because they are insanely calorific

it was very bad manners to divvy up the food in an unequal measure... either have enough food in for the invited guests... or don't invite guests for Sunday Dinner...

I don't think you were Unreasonable at all OP....

goo luck with the Diet.. it's never easy

I wouldn’t ‘kick up a fuss’ because I’d be pretty embarrassed to ‘go mad’ in front of other adults. I might say ‘oi, where’s my Yorker?’ Or if there was a back story I’d deal with it after the event.
I would never kick off in front of my children though.

yorkie

I don't want to state the bleedin' obvious, but portions given can be made smaller so people all get something (eg stuffing), or use a flippin' knife to cut a yorkshire pudding in half, if there's not enough to go round?!

Erm, was this a roast dinner where 4 people turned up unannounced OP? If not, then why in God's name wouldn't you do what was needed, plus 10% to allow for an especially hungry crowd? See, this is where stinginess gets you - if you know the numbers there's really no excuse.

Plus, singling one person out to get nothing but the absolute basics is very unkind and probably speaks volumes.

And that DH didn't say oh missus, there's not enough yorkshires or stuffing - here share half of mine, is poo as well.

apintofmilk
Oh for goodness sakes. I've already said I had chicken and boiled veg. Highly exciting. But if you went to a restaurant for a roast and everyone else got extras on their plate and you just had chicken and boiled veg because there wasn't enough for everyone then you wouldn't kick up a fuss?

If you went to a restaurant you'd be paying for it. I'm assuming your mother didn't present a bill for you at the end?

You sound like a brat quite honestly, and if my kids behaved like you then I'd not be cooking them Sunday lunch for a while.

A bloody Yorkshire pudding.

A huge over reaction I think, especially considering you didn't even notice until the end of the meal.

But then again, dieting is generally about depriving oneself.

That's kind of apparent in the words 'naughty' roast.

I see everybody's missing the point that your sister is also on a diet but was deemed worthy of a Yorkie and some stuffing!

It's not an overreaction if this crap has happened before and it was the final straw.

I'm with you. Horrible hosting from your parents.

I would be really upset at that too OP. I could understand if it was just the husbands that got extra as 'guests'. But giving your sister two extra things and you none does send a message.

Sorry if I’ve missed this but did she not do roast potatoes?!