If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

[apintofmilk]

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

I would have been very hurt too OP. I think you’ve had a very hard time on this thread.

I do not understand why so many people had to be so horrible to the OP.

If someone is upset about something, I just feel like it's NEVER the right choice to mock them, tell them their feelings are invalid, they're stupid for thinking that way. What is wrong with people??

As a host I would not give three people two extras and one no extras. It just indicates such a weird dynamic, a weird mindset, like, do they place you on a completely different level to everyone else, so you're the one who automatically gets less?

Why not give you the stuffing and your husband the yorkshire pudding? Surely that would be the immediate thought you'd have?? (Did they mess up and think they'd given you all some?)

Slumps in the corner with Staplescorner and Itsonkyme incoherently mumbling 'it's not about the yorkshire puddings/stuffing' with a heavy twitch in my eye.

Your parents are being massively U for serving Yorkshire pudding with chicken. Honestly OP, you’re better out of it.

Plonks myself down with you all, rocking back and forth madly.

Gosh, yes, all this fuss over insidious favouritism, long standing family dysfunction and a crap husband. Tut.

Why are so many posters so unkind? What do they get out of it?

Lineys Don't be ridiculous. The op just wanted a yorkie and a spoonful of stuffing - greedy guts.

Ok Folks, all behind me, I've got the Hokey Cokey music on.

Ok! One, two, three!!

Its not about the Yorkie, it's not about the Yorkie, nuh, nuh-nuh nuh..

And disappear into the distance!! The others won't notice anyway.

Sorry op if you are still around. We aren't taking the piss out of you just the idiots on this thread.

Jesus, those blaming you have no manners.

You ensure everyone else has a helping first, then you help yourself. You look out for those with special dietary needs and make sure they have sufficient food - it is miserable for vegetarians if there is no meat-free food left because the meat-eaters have consumed all the vegetarian dishes.

If it is clear that there are fewer items than there are people, you divide.

You do not rush in, grab whatever you can like a pig, and hope no-one else notices.

More than anything, though, as a host there should always be sufficient numbers of everything to go around. If your roast doesn't have leftovers to do you at least another day or two, you've failed.

No, we're not taking the Michael out of you at all apintofmilk.

We're trying to emphasise that we understand that you have been treated unfairly by your parents who massively favour your Sister and it has been the case for as long as you remember.

We understand that the "Yorkshire pudding and stuffing" was yet one more example of this unfairness. And why you left the dining table.

we have, however, been driven slightly insane by people posting about why you're making so much fuss about a not getting a Yorkie.

50% of us understand that it's not about the Yorkshire Pudding
I explained this scenario to my two 14 years olds - one got that it was not about the Yorkshire Pudding - the other one (who has Aspergers) didn't - although eventually they both did.

Orangeplastic

That is very interesting regarding your twins. It might go to explain how several people can see, say, a Smash and Grab raid on a jewellers and a percentage report something totally different. Perception and the mind is so unfathomable!
Lucky you with twins, I have them also 19 now and at Uni. They're identical but personality wise, very different. Arguing like mad one minute, best friends the next. And even the one that has never particularly liked being a twin growing up now says that being at Uni, she feels sooooo lucky to have her twin with her. They are literally joined at the hip now.

Actually I agree that if there isn't enough then the hosts go without, that's very rude. What is the back story on this because if it's not uncommon for you to be treated differently I would be with you on being upset, although you need to find a different way of expressing it. If this is a regular thing then you need to address it, go back when you are calm and have a proper discussion about how you feel.

I think if the OP had made the thread about the farm visit and the shoe cupboard there might have been fewer stupid remarks posted.
That incident was so ridiculous and if it's typical of the OP's parents I'm not surprised she's had enough.