If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

[apintofmilk]

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

itsonkyme I think your response was great

I too am shocked by some of the responses you have received OP, they show a complete lack of emotional intelligence. Sadly on this site responses like these are becoming more common, beating up on the OP has become some kind of twisted sport - get yourself over to the relationships board for a more supportive response, the Stately homes thread is just what you need.

Not your problem op but I find this really hard to read when food prices mean we're going without food and working all the extra hours we can on empty stomachs to ensure our children can eat. Real hunger hurts. Physically and mentally.
I understand you felt less important though-it would have been kind to divide it equally.

yabu to get upset over frozen yorkshires.
however if there is any justice you will lose more than your sister
What an incredibly nasty comment!

Not your problem op but I find this really hard to read when food prices mean we're going without food and working all the extra hours we can on empty stomachs to ensure our children can eat. Real hunger hurts. Physically and mentally.

Don't patronise the OP. She shouldn't be pathetically grateful to receive obviously less food than the rest of her family because there are people going hungry so their chldren can eat.

Next time I provide emotional support to a mentally ill person in my work role I will inform them it could be worse, in some areas of Africa they'd be chained to tree stumps like animals, so stop bloody well whining.

It’s very patronising to dismiss someone who’s struggling to put food on the table. It’s not Africa it’s right here.

But OP's parents are well off.

Read the thread ffs.

WaitroseCoffee isn’t, however, which is what the last two posts are referring to.

One more time for the hard of thinking on here:

IT'S NOT ABOUT FUCKING YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS AND STUFFING BALLS!

I don't think you read to the end of my post Camellia

It's not about the food, the entire post is not about the food..that is purely incidental..it's about how the OP feels she is being treated by her family, why can't people see that?

Oh I do understand how you feel 😂😂😂

Why on earth would they invite you all over and not make enough food? This is a travesty! Should have popped to the shop.

Get yourself down to your local carvery Op

Get yourself down to your local carvery Op

Get yourself down to your local carvery Op

How odd that so many posters can't see it isn't actually about stuffing and Yorkshire puddings...

YANBU, OP. If I were you I would have a serious chat with your DH and get him on side.

I don’t think they were being mean but I do think they were being odd . I don’t think you can go mad over food though as it makes you seem a bit mad even though it would upset me too

Just be grateful for the dinner cooked for you and that your DM/DD have aided you in keeping to your diet. So what if your sister also on a diet she'll have to do without even more.

I feel glad for you that this is the biggest problem in your life right now. Enormous overreaction and i think you should concentrate your energy on something more important. I am on the same diet and I feel very grateful when people support me and cook/serve up suitable food. I don't shoot them down for it. Have a word with yourself.

Was a bit daft, but we've all done the equivalent sometime. Maybe hunger and hormones and family 'button pushing' - very tricky to handle. Forgive yourself and move on. (Hug)

MN needs a head banging against a wall emoji!

OP is rightly ignoring the hard of thinking on this thread.

If it makes you feel better I don't think you over reacted
Yorkshire pudding is possibly on the list of things I would commit murder for 😂

I completely get you OP- I could give hundreds of examples of similar situations where things like this have affected me over the years. I’ve even withdrawn contact for a few years when it got too much (on multiple occasions). After re-establishing contact, it’s mellow for a while and slowly over time starts to escalate.
Sadly it’s starting to reach fever pitch again, and I am accused of being “pathetic” and a “drama queen”.
The reduced or lack of contact is held against me. Not that it was only done to protect myself emotionally from anguish and pain and a breakdown.
As much as I missed my family during that time, I didn’t miss the sniping, negativity, or being made to feel utterly worthless, whilst constantly trying to be worth of affection and equality. Does not help that my sibling gets into my mother’s head and drip feeds her views about me, in there, when I am not around. I can say something perfectly innocent, and have it twisted into an argument! I’m much too old for this nonsense. So will outlay, clearly, in another way, what I was trying to say, (to hopefully ease any misunderstanding on their part) quietly retreat, rather than continue the toxic conversation.
I’ve come to realise that no matter what I do, for whatever reason, it’s not going to be picture perfect. I need to concentrate on myself and my children. Doesn’t mean I love my mother any less. I love her more than she will ever know. I just don’t have th physical or emotional energy for “games”. And my children do not need to witness it!

My sibling will also speak to my mother in the most vile and disrespectful way (with very little recourse), and I simply cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour, and do not wish for my children to think it’s normal.

It’s never about the yorkshire pudding. But it sounds like it was just the straw that broke the camels back in this instance.

Oh my God. Really? Blimey, I thought my hormones were bad!!!! You need some chocolate obviously