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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think a 2 and 5 year old will be fine being vegan for one lunch?

450 replies

mauricesom · 27/10/2017 09:46

It's my birthday next week and I've booked somewhere nice that does a vegan high tea. I've invited my daughter (veggie) and her two sons 7 and 5.

I've booked us all for the vegan high tea but daughter says the children will need ham and cheese else they won't eat it. As I'm paying for it I don't really want to buy things I'm ethically apposed to.

Aibu to think they will be fine with hummus and carrot sandwiches for one meal? They both eat food like that at my house without any issues.

OP posts:
Original poster
mauricesom · 27/10/2017 09:46

Sorry that should be 7 in the title not 2.

OP posts:
Darlingsof · 27/10/2017 09:49

YANBU - if she’s worried about them not eating she could give them a ham and cheese Sanrie or food before hand and let them ‘snack’ at the tea. Or vice Versa. Or maybe you need to think that this will come up time and time again as the years go on and if the kids aren’t vegan could you compromise on the food they eat in front of you? ( so long as you don’t have to make it of course)

Wightintheghoulies · 27/10/2017 09:50

I'm sure they can cope for one lunch, or your daughter can feed them sandwiches in the car and they can sit quietly with a drink whilst there. Or perhaps it could be something just 'you and her' if possible?

I have to say though, carrot and hummus sandwiches don't sound particularly appetising to me as an adult, and I generally eat most things...

Ttbb · 27/10/2017 09:52

Are you sure that they actually eat it? It may be worth doing a practice and seeing whether they will actually eat it. If not you should either tell her to feed them before hand or to leave them at home. Letting small children go hungry because of your own morals is also a bit unethical.

LittleBearPad · 27/10/2017 09:52

They’ll be absolutely fine of course.

They probably won’t even notice.

She can give them a snack beforehand.

PsychoPumpkin · 27/10/2017 09:54

They’ll be fine, it’ll be good for them to try new foods too if all they’ll eat in a sandwich is ham or cheese.

Caulk · 27/10/2017 09:56

If they eat it at your house then you know they’ll be fine. However often children will eat food in one place and not another, so they might not have it because their mum is there.

Are you happy to pay for it if they don’t eat anything?

BarbaraofSevillle · 27/10/2017 09:58

I don't see the issue and as long as no-one makes a big deal out of it, your grandchildren probably won't even notice that the food is vegan.

Why does your DD think they won't eat it if, as you say they eat carrot and hummus at your house no problem, presumably things like falafels too?

No-ones going to go hungry Ttbb unless they start refusing to eat perfectly good food that they've eaten before for no reason at all.

AGoodCupOfTea · 27/10/2017 09:59

Well of course they’ll be fine, but, it’s what you’re ethically apposed to, not them.

I don’t think you can invite people out and then force them to eat what you think they should. Would you do that with your friends?

Although some ideas PP have mentioned about them having sandwiches before hand would be good. But they probably won’t eat what you’ve paid for so money wasted.

Original poster
mauricesom · 27/10/2017 09:59

Carrot and hummus is what they have at my house, not sure what the place will do.

I'm sure they wouldn't even notice unless their mum was making a big deal about it being vegan. They've never ever turned down vegan cake in my house!

OP posts:
Kitsandkids · 27/10/2017 10:00

If they definitely definitely eat it elsewhere then I understand you insisting on it. But there is no way my 8 year old would eat a carrot and hummus sandwich and even my 9 year old who generally eats everything would struggle.

PinkHeart5914 · 27/10/2017 10:00

Yanbu

Just becuase they eat meat & dairy it doesn’t mean they can’t survive 1 meal with out. I doubt they will notice tbh but if Mum is that worried she can give them a small snack beforehand

For Christ sake any child that has been fed the day before and had breakfast isn’t going to go ‘hungry’ because of the OP morals 😂 and high tea doesn’t only have sandwiches so I am sure there will be something they can eat

Ummmmgogo · 27/10/2017 10:01

they won't starve it's one meal. equally they might not be able to eat any of it. it's up to you whether that would bother you.

Original poster
mauricesom · 27/10/2017 10:06

Yes I'm fine if they don't eat any of it.

Btw it's grated carrot I have, I think even boots sell similar so many people must like it.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 27/10/2017 10:06

Tell her to feed them before and let them have a vegan desert and a drink while you and DD eat.

MrsOverTheRoad · 27/10/2017 10:07

God. I want a vegan high tea now!

Migraleve · 27/10/2017 10:07

The vegan is a red herring here. Children are fussy. I would listen to the parents about what their children will and won’t eat. I have an incredible fussy eater who would simply not eat in this situation. I’m assuming this is supposed to be a treat, it’s not much fun for the kids being made to eat something they don’t like!

napmeistergeneral · 27/10/2017 10:07

What? Having a single meal that's vegan is irrelevant; it doesn't impact the overall diet. Surely they can cope for one lunch and why would they even notice? No ham and cheese for six hours between breakfast and lunch? Perfectly normal. Your daughter is being unreasonable. I hope you have a lovely, ham-free birthday lunch.

Migraleve · 27/10/2017 10:08

Yes I'm fine if they don't eat any of it.

So you are happy to take your grandchildren out and let them go without food because of your ‘ethics’ Confused

PinkHeart5914 · 27/10/2017 10:08

Op has already said when at her house the children eat this stuff

fucksakefay · 27/10/2017 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Migraleve · 27/10/2017 10:09

Op has already said when at her house the children eat this stuff

Indeed she has. She has also said she doesn’t know it will be the same stuff. There is a massive potential here for it to be slightly more that carrots and some dip

19lottie82 · 27/10/2017 10:10

In fairness the majority of kids that age I know wouldn’t eat it, but if you’re happy enough to pay for it and maybe listen to them whine then I wouldn’t see the problem. Can their mum not feed them first if she says they won’t eat it?

SaucyJack · 27/10/2017 10:11

It's fine. Relax.

I often read threads like this and wonder what century other people are living in if something like a hummus sandwich is a wacky or contentious choice.

Lethaldrizzle · 27/10/2017 10:11

Perhaps you should have never mentioned the word vegan - just vegeterian. Daughter may have been none the wiser - but hey if she wants to put a nice slab of processed pig meat into their wee bodies tell her to give them a ham sarnie first. I'm sorry I think your daughter sounds rude. It's your birthday ffs! I give my family vegan food alot without them even knowing and I'm not even vegan.