Aibu to think a 2 and 5 year old will be fine being vegan for one lunch?

[mauricesom]

It's my birthday next week and I've booked somewhere nice that does a vegan high tea. I've invited my daughter (veggie) and her two sons 7 and 5.

I've booked us all for the vegan high tea but daughter says the children will need ham and cheese else they won't eat it. As I'm paying for it I don't really want to buy things I'm ethically apposed to.

Aibu to think they will be fine with hummus and carrot sandwiches for one meal? They both eat food like that at my house without any issues.

Can I just interrupt to ask: do you mean 'high tea' or 'afternoon tea', in fact? Like - tea, cake, sandwiches in the afternoon?

I also think the vegan thing is a red herring and it depends what the actual kids actually eat. One of my nephews will only eat white bread and Marmite, wherever he is. Other kids might only eat cheese... etc.

Why can't your daughter bring a sandwich with her? Or even substitute a vegan cheese and quorn sandwich for one meal. I have one with SEN and to be honest, we either ring ahead or bring a sandwich with us. Some things are worth getting het up over.

*vegetarian

They will be fine!

I love grated carrot and hummus sandwiches.

Boudoir my child has eaten the exact same lunch every day for the past three years.

A hummus and carrot sandwich is pretty ordinary, and most children who liked hummus would be okay with this.
And most children eat a vegan lunch or meal fairly regularly, without knowing it is vegan.
YANBU OP.

If they don't like the sandwich fillings they could just have bread and marg. (Am wondering if you brought your daughter up vegan and she resents it.)

And there will be cake. They will eat that.

No one in their right mind would say "I'm a carnivore, I think my vegan family shuould eat steak because I want to go to steak house for my birthday and I will inflict my beliefs upon them".

Either pick a venue that caters for all people or don't invite people that doent share your ethics.

Food martyrs really get my proverbial goat.

Our work place sells humous and salad sandwiches on some fancy bread can’t quite remember what type and they are very popular.

I’ve been to a vegan afternoon tea and one of the sandwiches was vegan cheese and cucumber, so they might be fine. To be honest though, a high tea is wasted on young kids. I would have booked as a treat for just you and your DD.

It is one lunch. Our family rule has always been on your birthday, if we eat out, you get to choose the place and everyone else has to suck it up.

She's probably just worrying about them moaning and spoiling your birthday lunch, rather than wanting to spoil things for you. I know my DS will sit for longer and behave better if there is food he likes available (and I would be worried about how well he'd behave at a high tea for someone's birthday.). Just reassure her there will be plenty of other delicious stuff to keep them distracted and keep your own expectations low.

(I am of course aware that all Mumsnetters' 5-7 year olds will sit quietly for two hours colouring in their pocket Dickens. But not all children will.)

Regardless of it being vegan I do find it a little odd that you're feeling the need to dictate what they must eat?
I'm a vegetarian but never have I insisted people don't eat meat because I don't agree with it, not even on my birthday.

I can't get over the fact that your daughter is a veggie but still gives her kids ham! Unless it is very nice mumsnet ham cut from the thigh of a unicorn/pig cross it will be stuffed with additives, antibiotics and other weird stuff. In either case most veggies would not have it In the house and would certainly not want their kids eating it.

I would contact the venue and ask what they usually provide and ask if they will provide something even if it is only hummus and carrot sticks that you know your grand kids will eat. It's high tea, they won't be looking for a huge meal at their age.

Happy birthday next week, enjoy your treat, next time leave your snarky daughter at home and just do something fun with your grandchildren or friends.

The kids will eat cake, and be perfectly happy.

ONE meal??!! Of course YANBU, if that's the tea you want on your birthday!
Fussy kids can be a pain so I know where your dd is coming from, but if you say they eat the food fine at your house sounds like it's not them being fussy but their mum!!
Anyway, even if they don't eat many (or indeed any) sandwiches does it really matter for one meal? I'm sure they can fill up on cakes or scones or whatever else goes with the afternoon tea!

I often read threads like this and wonder what century other people are living in if something like a hummus sandwich is a wacky or contentious choice

Exactly. The carrot and hummus combo is one of the most middle fo the road, standard offerings there is.

Either pick a venue that caters for all people or don't invite people that doent share your ethics

Er, the place does cater for everyone, there's nothing in food that is vegan that 'all people' can't eat. They are also probably very good for catering for allergies and do things like a vegan flourless chocolate cake that is suitable for coeliacs (but would be no good for the nut allergic unfortunately).

It won't just be one sandwich will it,? Afternoon tea is cakes etc.
They'll be fine

Tell her to give then ham and cheese before they arrive, then they won't be hungry and can just choose something nice and tasty at your special vegan meal.

Have a lovely time

It's weird that you don't want to buy non-vegan food because you'd be paying for something that goes against your ethical values, but you are "fine if they don't eat any of it" which would be paying for food to be wasted, in itself an ethical issue given high food bank usage etc.

It's just one meal, I'm sure they'll be fine. Plus the meal will include more than just sandwiches (which they may or may not like), so I'm sure they will find something to eat.

I went to a very posh high tea a few months ago for a celebration and my friend brought her (very picky) 5 year old. We had told the staff that a (very picky) child would be coming and they cut the sandwiches and cakes up into various shapes and decorated them. They were cute, he was really pleased and I think they could have been made of just about anything and he would have still gobbled them because they looked so appealing. So make sure the staff know and hopefully they can do something a bit 'special' for the two children.

I'm sure it will all be fine, and I hope you have a great birthday tea with your family!

Pressed post too soon. A lot of vegans (you may not be one of them) cite environmental reasons for avoiding animal products too, due to high amount of resources needed to produce it. But you are happy to purchase food that won't be eaten and will probably be chucked in a bin, adding another black bag to landfill.

Your prerogative and of course the children will be fine. The dissonance among many vegans always interests me though.

I'm a veggie (who can happily do vegan) my DH categorically isn't dd1 isn't and is horribly fussy (SEN) and dd2 technically is omni (only 2) but mostly prefers my food and even we could manage for one afternoon tea! With dd1 it would be about finding out what would be there ahead so there was no surprises (always the key to a happy meal with dd1) and if she wasn't fussed on the sandwich filling she would either eat the bread (discretely feeding dd2 the contents) or just fill up on the rest. Enjoy your birthday