Men keep ignoring me in my own bloody shop

[Kitee]

I own a small local shop that sells office supplies/ printing equipment etc amongst other things.

I have been noticing lately that men COMPLETELY blank me in favour of my male colleague whom I have recently employed - let’s call him Joe (until then it was just me so they had no other option)

For example, yesterday a woman came in with her husband. I greeted them and asked if I could help with anything. He started to reply to me and then when he noticed Joe he just turned his back on me and continued what he was saying to Joe. I was so angry! It’s my shop!

Second example, a man came in with a list of items he needed which included product codes etc. Once again I greeted him warmly and he walked straight past me, did not even acknowledge me, to make a beeline for Joe.

I’m seriously getting fed up of this.

I know not ALL MEN do this.

I don’t know if they even realise they are doing it?

It’s pretty disheartening to be honest, I feel like I’m not taken as seriously and it’s presumed that I just don’t know what I’m talking about.

Anyone else experienced this or have any way of dealing with it?

AIBU to wear a big sign round my neck staying that I am more than capable of serving you in my own shop?

When we bought our first place me and my mum just arranged it and brought dh down when required to sign what he needed. No way on earth could I imagine dh or my dad doing that without a woman there. That would be a cause for laughter round our dinnertable!

How do men like these you speak of manage to run their day-to-day lives?

They sound like hard work.

Being pleasant to every single potential colleague is surely Rule 1 of jobhunting ... !

It’s astonishing how many people don’t get this!

When I used to go along to STEM recruitment events I would get lots of men grilling me about how I got my job in a very rude manner. A couple even told me that I shouldn’t be doing the job with a certain degree! I was amazed that they didn’t stop to think about the fact that if they got an interview, then I would see them when they came into the office. I might even be interviewing them! Why would you ever be rude to anyone at a company where you want to work?

My colleague and I also once had to escort people to and from interviews for a job at the same level at us, which was very junior but in a very competitive industry where jobs are like gold dust and the work is fairly demanding. There was one woman who announced on the way back from her interview that it was ‘so easy, because this is just such a basic job that anyone could do it’.

We were asked after the interviews what we’d thought of the candidates during our time with them. You can guess how that went.

A few years ago I worked in whats is now a very successful business.
We couldn't afford a receptionist, so there was a rota and every one from CEO down was included.

CEO who was male and actually a nice one was shocked by the attitude of interviewees. Sadly it took being on the desk and not been told by staff to wake him up. I do wonder if he hadn't been a very camp gay man how much longer it would have taken him....

Being pleasant to every single potential colleague is surely Rule 1 of jobhunting ... !
It’s astonishing how many people don’t get this!

I once had a candidate tell me the JD was badly written. Note to job-seekers: someone on the interview panel has probably written the JD and everyone on the panel will have signed it off

Note to job-seekers: someone on the interview panel has probably written the JD and everyone on the panel will have signed it off

Not necessarily. I used to regularly interview candidates and I had no input whatsoever into the job description. We did feedback on the interview process and were consulted for improving it but that it is all.

But I do agree you have to be very careful what you say to who. Most cadidates I interviewed were very aware of the importance of every thing they said to me from the moment we met to the moment we parted company. They'd often use the time in corridors to highlight once again how enthusiastic they were for the position which always leaves a positive impression.

Ahh interviews.... My favourite anecdote is the time I was on a 3 person panel and introduced as "Slug, the technical lead" I asked the technical questions and one particularly charming applicant waved his hand dismissively and said "Oh the tech stuff is easy", and then proceeded to wax at considerable length about some IT system totally unrelated to the position that he was an 'expert' in to the only male on the panel. I tried to tease out some knowledge with follow up questions but he insisted in addressing his answers to the poor, nontechnical bloke instead of me.

When he left, my boss sighed and said "PLEASE tell me you're not going to go with him"

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