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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

363 replies

questioning1 · 25/10/2017 10:04

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

OP posts:
Peeetle · 25/10/2017 10:06

I’d definitely stand up for a woman with a buggy and a young kid. Otherwise she has to hold on with one hand, hold her kid’s hand with the other and leave the baby in the buggy to its own devices.

Ttbb · 25/10/2017 10:06

A child that age would go flying if the bus stopped suddenly so would really need the seat. Adults don't (generally). I must admit I wouldn't have asked even if I was on crutches but she was being reasonable in asking.

Artistic · 25/10/2017 10:06

It's quite hard to keep a 3 year old safe in a moving bus. With a baby in pram I think it was the safe thing to do. As long as she was polite what's the problem?

SleepFreeZone · 25/10/2017 10:07

I probably would get up for a young kid too

Witsender · 25/10/2017 10:07

A 3 yr old should be allowed to sit down, common sense dictates that an able bodied adult is far more capable of standing on a moving bus than a nigh on toddler.

2014newme · 25/10/2017 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

stitchglitched · 25/10/2017 10:07

Toddlers aren't steady enough to stand safely on buses. I don't see the problem, she made a polite general request and someone was willing to move for her.

halcyondays · 25/10/2017 10:08

A healthy adult is much more capable of standing on a bus without falling than a toddler.

Sandsunsea · 25/10/2017 10:08

She shouldn't have to ask.

RatRolyPoly · 25/10/2017 10:08

The person in the priority seat (assuming they themselves weren't a priority) will have known they were first in line to stand if someone needed that seat more. I think she was justified in asking.

Original poster
questioning1 · 25/10/2017 10:09

I just wouldn't personally have done it! As a child I was always chivvied around to make things easier for adults and it never did me any harm. Oh well, I can see I'm alone in my opinion!

I don't think I would have noticed as much had she not taken the seat herself. Although she was very polite about it!

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 25/10/2017 10:09

I get up for children on trains and busses as it just feels safer for them to be sitting. A child of maybe 10 I accept maybe could stand but younger than that and I would be happy moving

Glumglowworm · 25/10/2017 10:10

A three year old needs a seat on the bus more than a healthy able bodied adult because they're very likely to go flying if the bus stops and can't reach to hold onto anything

Yabu

araiwa · 25/10/2017 10:10

I would have offered my seat to a lone parent with a baby in pram and toddler.

Perhaps its because im not an absolute thundertwat

CauliflowerSqueeze · 25/10/2017 10:11

I’m with you OP.

The rest of MN disagrees though.

Crispbutty · 25/10/2017 10:11

As she sat Ruth her child on her lap I can't see a problem.

RatRolyPoly · 25/10/2017 10:11

Things have changed OP, kids used to be seen and not heard. Now that only happens if you give them an iPad Grin

Witsender · 25/10/2017 10:11

She sat on the seat with the child on her lap. Entirely fair enough. Why shouldn't adults shuffle around for a child's safety? We used to do all sorts of things, doesn't make them right...why wouldn't you want a 3 year old to be seated safely? Especially as an adult can stand safely? I wouldn't have asked, but I would have offered.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/10/2017 10:11

Priority seat say it’s for elderly, those less able, pregnant and people with small kids.

Toddlers don’t have the weight or coordination to stand

Sandsunsea · 25/10/2017 10:11

It's easier to control a 3 year old and keep from falling by sitting with the child on your knee rather than holding the child onto a seat with one hand whilst holding yourself and buggy with your other one on a jerky bumpy bus. Of course she sat on the chair with him on her knee.

Crispbutty · 25/10/2017 10:11

With not Ruth... no idea who Ruth is! 😂

Hidingalion · 25/10/2017 10:12

Yup, with the others here. A three year old can easily get knocked over and can't see/hold on. Plus very young ones might be tired - less stamina than adults. That's why we have priority seats. If you are ill or live with a disability or are more vulnerable e.g. very old or young I think you should be allowed to sit down.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 25/10/2017 10:12

Yes - she can sit her 3 year old on her lap and hold onto the buggy.

Lethaldrizzle · 25/10/2017 10:12

As long as she didn't start breastfeeding as well!

RunningOutOfCharge · 25/10/2017 10:12

But it did ‘do you some harm’!!!

Look at your attitude!!!

That’s the harm

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