Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

[questioning1]

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

@2014newme Yes I have actually, having a toddler and baby myself. My toddler holds on to the pram while we're on the bus, between myself and the pram.

I have acknowledged that I must be being unreasonable, I actually think it's people like you who make Mumsnet an unpleasant place to ask questions.

And I'll have you know that London buses are so packed that there was about 20 people between myself and the lady when she was getting off. So no, I did not get up and squeeze through the packed-as-sardines commuters to help her off the bus when the woman closest to the door helped her instead.

A toddler (by their very name!) is unstable. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a toddler standing on a busy bus. A sharp brake would send them flying.

The mum also had a buggy to contend with. I don't blame her for asking for help

I take it you've never had to stand on a bus with a toddler op. I did with my neice once she was almost 3, the bus breaked and couldn't hold onto my legs (the only thing she could hold onto) and she fell and bust her lip. I got over my anxiety about asking for a seat pretty quickly after that.

What's your objection really? Bar that 'we never used to in my day'? Because there is no logical reason why it makes more sense for a toddler to stand than an adult.

Op thus lady was manoeuvre herself, her baby in a buggy and a toddler. In other circumstances perhaps the toddler would be 'chivvied' but in this case sitting down was the safest place for the toddler as they can't hold on properly when standing.
I don't underestimate how difficult it us travelling in a bus in this circumstances without idiots judging you because you sit down with your toddler on your lap. You dud nothing to help thus woman but are writing on the Internet about her being rude when she wasn't. You were rude to offer no assistance and to judge her for trying to manage a difficult journey. Seriously you lack any empathy.

Sorry OP YABU. Seats are for those less able to stand. I'd define a toddler as less able to stand. A strong teenager, yup get them standing they're fine. But a 3yo? No. Don't be daft.

YABU, I only have one baby but find day to day tasks generally awkward when I have to take him places - 2 must be so much harder.

Like you I remember being taught to give up my seat for an adult, but to be fair I doubt either of us can remember back to when we were 3 so I expect it was different when we were that little.

Oh and yes, YABU. Hth.

Why do children have less right to a seat than adults? My 9 year old needs a seat, he has hidden disabilities and wouldn't be safe standing. Although all you would see is a big lad the size of a teenager taking a seat from someone who is apparently more entitled just by being an adult.

I would always give my seat up for anyone I felt was more in need, including young kids or a Mum juggling them.

She could have sat her 3 year old on her lap. Why does everyone have to be so entitled these days, and yes, I have children so know what it's like. The world doesn't have to revolve around people with children

YABU. Why should the expectation be that mothers/fathers make it harder for themselves and their children, when an adult could stand easily and help out? Very strange thought process.

I would expect a healthy adult to give up their seat for the toddler or parent with toddler on lap.

@chocolaterainbows she did sit the 3 year old on her lap. But was a priority seat. The ones for people with disabilities and young kids.

I would have moved

Chocolate she did sit the 3 year old in her lap. That is one of the things OP is complaining about!

Er, priority seats are for those less able to stand.

I'm going to be very unpopular, I wouldn't have moved for a toddler, when I had my kids we had to fold our buggies up to get on the bus and it never did us any harm, also I held my toddlers hand or Sat him on my knee if I had a seat. If I've paid for my seat I'm sitting on it!!

'it's people like you that make mumsnet an unpleasant place to ask questions'
😂😂😂
Why you even thought this was worth your vitriol we'll never know. Poor woman with kids on bus.

@Chocolaterainbows she did have the toddler on her lap

Reminds me of when my neighbour kindly offered us a lift to the doctor when I was ill as a child.

What wasn't so kind was me automatically going to the front seat (we always were allowed to sit in the front if we felt sick as it helped car sickness), and her strictly telling me that I should respect my elders and sit in the back.

I threw up in the back of her car :D

Toddler sitting on her lap was the best outcome for all involved.

I would offer a seat to a toddler

(should add that I sat in the front once old enough!)

She was fine to use the priority seat for this reason.

chocolaterainbows I'm Assuming she initially asked for a seat for the toddler so he could sit whilst she stood with the buggy bit then sat with him in the priority seat as they're generally next to the wheelchair/buggy area.