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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

363 replies

questioning1 · 25/10/2017 10:04

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

OP posts:
Tomorrowillbeachicken · 25/10/2017 11:26

Why couldn't he go on her lap?

2014newme · 25/10/2017 11:27

He did go on her lap! But the op objected to that too.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 25/10/2017 11:28

I can't why she'd object to that.

HaHaHmm · 25/10/2017 11:29

Child did go on mother's lap. I think OP bristled because the mother's solution got her a seat, when she had only asked for one for her child.

Still ridiculous and totally U.

2014newme · 25/10/2017 11:30

Because the woman Sat with her toddler on her lap on a priority seat and the op thought they should have stood. The op herself was seated.

Lethaldrizzle · 25/10/2017 11:31

The audacity of the woman, travelling at rush hour with young kids!

formerbabe · 25/10/2017 11:33

The audacity of the woman, travelling at rush hour with young kids

She was probably just doing it for fun. That's the only reason I've ever taken my DC on public transport at rush hour... Good times!

FrogsAreMean · 25/10/2017 11:33

To be honest OP, you need to mind your own business.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 25/10/2017 11:34

Yep, I agree! How terrible!

bluerememberedhills0 · 25/10/2017 11:34

You're getting such an unnecessary roasting on here OP, I'd love to meet all of these completely perfect people who are attacking you Hmm

Having said that I would give up my seat for a toddler for safety reasons etc. Mothers with small children are included in the priority seats quota and multiple children on a London bus are a handful to deal with (speaking from extensive experience!)

However, these people calling you 'an unpleasant mean person' and a 'stickbeak' (Confused) among other things .....maybe you need to look in the mirror? Bet you wouldn't say these things if you weren't hiding behind your keyboard!!!

ZoopDragon · 25/10/2017 11:35

Before I had kids I would have thought the same as you, but now I have a toddler I'm with the mum. It's dangerous for a toddler to balance on a moving bus, or for the mother to stand with toddler on her hip. The safest place is sitting on someone's lap. Those priority seats are for parents of young children as much as elderly people.

I think it's sad that she had to ask someone to give her a seat! If I'm travelling alone I give up mine to anyone with a small child or who looks unsteady standing.

Seeyamonday · 25/10/2017 11:35

Here we go again!!! Did I say anything about pensioners... No I didn't, I've often given up my seat for an elderly person, that's completely different, I have respect for those older than myself!! And as for my attitude Running out of charge, take a long hard look at your own!! Some thoroughly unpleasant people on here today!!! How do you know that someone who is sitting in priority seats isn't ill, I look fine, I've had a triple bypass, I'm waiting (December) to get a quadruple bypass, I'm relatively young, looking at the me you wouldn't know I was ill, should I get up and give a toddler my seat? I don't bloody think so, just think before you pull your judgy pants on!!

MrsJayy · 25/10/2017 11:37

A 3 year old on a moving vehicle isn't very safe why wouldn't you give a little child a seat ? I wouldn't expect a child under 7/8 to stand for an adult on the bus it isn't safe imo

HaHaHmm · 25/10/2017 11:38

However, these people calling you 'an unpleasant mean person' and a 'stickbeak' (confused) among other things .....maybe you need to look in the mirror? Bet you wouldn't say these things if you weren't hiding behind your keyboard!!!

I agree with you that name-calling is always juvenile and unnecessary but can you not see the irony when OP herself said absolutely nothing at the time and then started a thread to bitch about the woman?

DressedCrab · 25/10/2017 11:38

I don't get on busses if I'm going to have to stand, so I certainly wouldn't stand up for anyone else.

Frege · 25/10/2017 11:41

Completely U. Of course a toddler needs a seat, whether that's on a lap or otherwise.

This isn't new- it's always been the case. If you can remember offering your seat to adults as a child then you must have been older than 3.

bluerememberedhills0 · 25/10/2017 11:41

@HaHaHmm I've only been on Mumsnet a few days and from my first impressions it largely seems like that's what the Am I Being Unreasonable thread is for!

FlowerPot1234 · 25/10/2017 11:44

formerbabe

Why on earth should a child stand up for an able bodied adult?
I honestly can't see why an able bodied adult would be more entitled to a seat than a child. I can't see what on earth it has to do with manners either.

Oh dear god. Hmm Anyone heard of respect for your elders round here? Respect those who have given more, work harder than you, pay for whatever you're using to start with? Do some of you even know about manners? Shock

formerbabe · 25/10/2017 11:48

Anyone heard of respect for your elders round here? Respect those who have given more, work harder than you, pay for whatever you're using to start with? Do some of you even know about manners?

Elders? Well, if someone is elderly then anyone who is able to stand should offer a seat.

In your view it appears that you think a child should stand for any adult? In which case, you'd see a young child give their seat up to an able bodied 20 year old, which is ridiculous.

As for the worked hard, contributed more theory, what a load of tosh. They could have spent their life on benefits, they could have never worked a day in their life. Seats are not offered out on public transport based on your productivity to society or your national insurance contribution!

Spam88 · 25/10/2017 11:48

I’d always offer my seat to a child that little, it’s just a shame she had to ask really. And I don’t see the problem with her sitting down? Just means the bus is less crowded 🤷‍♀️

BananasAreGood · 25/10/2017 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlowerPot1234 · 25/10/2017 11:51

formerbabe

As for the worked hard, contributed more theory, what a load of tosh.

Like I said, oh dear god. Hmm

I really hope that in life I have as little to do with people like you, and the snowflakes you bring into this world, as is humanely possible.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 25/10/2017 11:52

My area includes adult with toddler on knee in the list of priority seat users.

LongWavyHair · 25/10/2017 11:53

FlowerPot I don't care if an able bodied adult has done more because they are older. If they are able bodied then they can stand up.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 25/10/2017 11:54

I really hope that in life I have as little to do with people like you, and the snowflakes you bring into this world, as is humanely possible.

I really hope in my life I have as little to do with entitled people like you Hmm