Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

[questioning1]

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

'Respect those who have given more, work harder than you, pay for whatever you're using to start with?'

WTF? Yay, let's introduce lie-detector-supported work-ethic tests for bus seat distribution!
Anyway, doesn't that criterion instantly rule most over-65s out of getting a seat?

The reason why (all) children used to stand up for (all) adults as an automatic right for adults isn't 'manners', it's power dressed up as manners. I'm glad those days are gone. (And even back then I'm really not sure it included toddlers).

I've had seats offered on the tube - I wasn't asking - for my fit healthy primary-aged children. Because people know children can get tired easily and may not have the best balance. That, to me, is what respect is all about.

OP, YABVU, of course.

I really hope that in life I have as little to do with people like you, and the snowflakes you bring into this world, as is humanely possible.

And you are on here lecturing others about manners....

FlowerPot You are absolutely nuts.

Should have added that equally, those same kids will happily offer their seat to a younger child, or someone elderly, pregnant, or less mobile. And, of course, so will I.

I agree a 3 year old should not stand, and the woman asked politely. No criticism of her at all.

But OP asked the question (as is the point of AIBU), and accepted she was unreasonable when she got the answers. Some posters, @2014newme in particular, have been unnecessarily unpleasant.

*Today 10:26 FlowerPot1234

I always sit there in disbelief any time a parent with a child is sitting on a tube carriage, adults get on and the child does not get up to offer their seat.

I sit there in even more disbelief when adults get up out of their seat to give a child their seat.

I always make sure my 8 year old gets a seat if possible. He has autism and gets extremely distressed on crowded buses and trains. He is a lovely, kind boy but cannot cope in this environment. I would stand and let him sit. Nice to know people might be thinking less of us!

I agree with everyone. I think it's a matter of safety rather than upbringing in terms of respecting adults.

I would have let the child sit down. I wasn't a difficult request, some people are just selfish. Everytime I get on a bus with my son in his pram, no body helps me or moves over to let me pass and even the driver sets off before I've even managed to put the brakes on the pram! It's disgusting behaviour imo that's why I try not to use any form of public transport if I can help it.

I work all day, by the time I get on the bus I'm shattered, if there's a seat and no one needs it more than me and I've got on the bus at my correct place in the queue then I'm having it!! If someone with a disability(whatever age), or an elderly person with a stick gets on then of course I'll move, however if a mum with a toddler gets on then nope, I'm staying where I am, if this offends the judgy pants brigade then tough luck!!!

Meh, I wouldn't get out of my seat for a kid. There's bars from roof to floor that kids can hang on to....and if we're going to say that they can't reach the proper handgrips, well neither can shorties like me!

FlowerPot Children shouldn't automatically give up their seat if an adult gets on the bus.
That's a very outdated attitude and adults are not more important than children. If a 7 year old child is sat down on the bus and a 47 year old able bodied adult gets on the bus, then that adult can stand. First come first served. Plus children have to pay to use the bus from age 5 onwards so they are entitled to have a bloody seat. Toddlers and babies you don't have to pay for but it is safer for them to sit down than stand, so they should have a seat or at least be able to sit on their parent's knee.

And if I was on the bus with my child sat next to me and someone who needed a seat got on, I wouldn't make my child stand and me stay sitting down just because I'm an adult. I would stand instead.

At least she put the child on her lap! We were always put on an adults lap on busy buses, but these days little snowflakes often seem to have to have their own seats .

I'll join the minority view as well. I think the woman was cheeky to ask.
Her child will be travelling either free or reduced-rate.
If people choose to give up their seats, that's a nice gesture, but it's up to them.

LongWavyHair
FlowerPot Children shouldn't automatically give up their seat if an adult gets on the bus. That's a very outdated attitude...

No, it's not outdated. It's damn good manners, it's respect, it's decent behaviour. Most decent, respectful and polite people do it. The fact that you don't do it doesn't mean it's outdated, it simply means you lack manners.

The priority seats are not for those older than yourself, they are for those less able to stand. It's not really that difficult a concept to grasp. At least I didn't think it was.

I believe all children under 18 travel for free in london (if they are still in education) certainly all those under 16 do so nope a 5 year old wouldn't be paying for their seat in London, where the op is.

I work all day, by the time I get on the bus I'm shattered, if there's a seat and no one needs it more than me and I've got on the bus at my correct place in the queue then I'm having it!! If someone with a disability(whatever age), or an elderly person with a stick gets on then of course I'll move, however if a mum with a toddler gets on then nope, I'm staying where I am, if this offends the judgy pants brigade then tough luck!!!

Have you seen the priority seats sign? It includes people with young children.

FlowerPot Children shouldn't automatically give up their seat if an adult gets on the bus. That's a very outdated attitude...

No, it's not outdated. It's damn good manners, it's respect, it's decent behaviour. Most decent, respectful and polite people do it. The fact that you don't do it doesn't mean it's outdated, it simply means you lack manners.

Can you really not grasp the fact that seats are for this less able to stand? A child is not necessarily more able to stand than an adult.

I wouldn't expect a child to stand for me because I am perfectly capable of standing myself and am not an entitled idiot.

a 5 year old wouldn't be paying for their seat in London, where the op is.

No one is paying for a seat.

Nah it's outdated. People give up their seats based on need, not because one is an adult and the other is a child. If I got on the bus and a mum made her child stand up for me, I would turn the seat down. Hopefully someone like you would be on the bus and it would piss them off

As an aside, TFL either have or plan to introduce "please offer me a seat" badges for hidden disabilities. Like the "baby on board" ones.

Entirely based on honesty though, you won't need to prove any need.

I'm answering the people saying a 5 year old would be paying. Seat or not in london children under 16 don't pay for the bus obviously some people are unaware of that.

former babe, not on our buses it doesn't AND the bus drivers are not allowed to ask you to move to let anyone sit down, as I've said I'd move for anyone with a disability, I'd move for someone elderly and I'd also move for a pregnant woman but not for a child, I'm just being honest!!

Flowerpot - Oh dear god. Anyone heard of respect for your elders round here? Respect those who have given more, work harder than you, pay for whatever you're using to start with? Do some of you even know about manners?

I think the 1800s are calling you back. Let's start forcing children back up chimneys. Then and only then will they be worthy of the same respect as an adult. I only hope you really were born in the 19th century and you don't have the opportunity to spread this dangerous nasty attitude onto another generation. And the poster that pointed out that saying 'it never did me any harm' is the proof of the harm it did is absolutely spot on. You ended up having to shut off your empathy and internalise an insidious disrespect for children which you now think is perfectly reasonable. The term 'snowflake' is further proof of this.