Is it unreasonable to tell parent if their child has been a bit of a git on a playdate?

[CosmicStrider]

DH and I both work full time so don't do the play date thing much. Today has been the first time in a long time we have had one of DS's friends from school (both Y1).

The boy hasn't been naughty as such, but has a mouth on him. Very cheeky, for example he has said:

"If i knew it was going to be this rubbish I wouldn't have come"
"He isn't my friend" x 100
"I hate these toys. I am just going to sit on the stairs until this boring time is over"
"You must be a rubbish family as you have rubbish stuff"

He also likes to shriek in an earbleeding way.

My DH has said he isn't coming again. Not to the boy, but to me and I should tell his mum when she collect him. I won't. I think it is pointless and in the interests of maintaining a school playground relationship with her, just not worth any potential upset.

What do others do? Is it unreasonable to tell a parent their child has been a bit shitty, and risk upsetting them, if there has been no real harm done?

I've had kids comment on our house/garden being small. It was never done rudely though. Just stating a fact.

Don’t invite them again.

If the parent asks i’d Maybe give a non commital, fine but i’m Not sure he enjoyed himself and just never have the kid back. If he’s that 😫 then your child probably won’t want him anyway ever again. Sounds like a right little sod. But it does happen, you’ll soon get into the swing of having nicer kids around!

I think you did the right thing OP by saying nothing. Most likely the mum would have been defensive and put on the spot, you would have felt awkward by it all.

Sadly some kids are brats. Swerve this one in furture.

Here the thing,online folk are all strident and yo! In reality they’d deliver platitude and say nowt

Speak for yourself Lipstick.

Well of course,but no I don’t believe folk routinely deliver pithy searing truths
More likely, online folk advise others to do what they’d not do
Mostly we all abide by social norms and niceties and don’t do direct conflict

If kids behave badly at my house I can assure you that I (politely) make sure their parents are aware.

I personally think that’s kinder than casting the kid into the outer darkness.

I actually find it alarming how many people on MN find it difficult to speak up about things that bother them or upset them.

There’s no need for “direct conflict”.

I’m not talking speaking up I’m commenting on the emboldened just tell em posts
Yes,I’d say something I’d not be unkind,verbose or as it as posts.and I’d uninvite
Overall,no I don’t actually Believe most folk online strident responses in rl

One of my kids might have behaved like that but he is autistic, has no filter and I would have warned you first/wouldn't leave him with someone that didn't know him.

If either of my girls had acted like that I would want to know and deal with it appropriately

I'd want to know.
Having said that I get remarks about my darling child ALL the time, because everything is so literal,
"ooh it's cold in here" "can't we afford heating?"
At one play date "sorry there isn't any desert" "is that because you are a mean mum" luckily that was my friend, and she knows my kid.
At another the parent said they had no cash and child asked if they needed some, don't worry my mum can give you some if you are poor!!!
I can see that some people might find her offensive, but the majority seem to find her piss funny.
His comments aren't though, and I'd have to say something becauSe I know I'd want to know, it must ha e some kind of impact on your child also, I wouldn't be happy.
I had one kid ask me for biscuits, 5 year old, when I said I don't have any, I just don't buy them, I got an eye roll and a 'pathetic' under their breath!!!😱

I think the parents need to be told about their son's behaviour. If he were my son I would certainly want to know. Whether I would actually be brave enough to say anything though is another matter.

Think I would have called his bluff and said if you are bored let's call your mum and you can go home

Ring mum and tell her he is bored and see what her response is