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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

**Trigger Warning - sensitive subject Title edited by MNHQ** I am absolutely heartbroken and I need to know I'm not being unreasonable to end a friendship *Very sensitive subject*

359 replies

PhDPepper · 23/10/2017 19:04

I had a molar pregnancy this year and it was fucking awful. I’ve seen a ‘friend’ today in the street and she completely blanked me. I messaged her when I got home and asked what was wrong.

And I got back a tirade of abuse about how I’d had an abortion and killed my baby and that if I never got pregnant again it would be karma.

I did have a D&C to remove the molar pregnancy but it wasn’t a baby, it was a complete molar pregnancy with no genetic tissue. It fucking broke me to have that operation but I’ve never considered it to be an abortion.

I have not replied as it’s totally flawed me, but I need to know im not being unreasonable to tell her to go fuck herself

OP posts:
buckingfrolicks · 24/10/2017 20:18

GO OP! You told her to fuck herself! Well done. There are times when that’s all you can do. She is a prize winning shit.

LagunaBubbles · 24/10/2017 20:20

I agree with everything on Deadbutdelucious post.....shes clearly gossiping about you to anyone who will listen to her to.

TitaniasCloset · 24/10/2017 20:23

Can we expect a cheque?
Shock
No words.

I'm so glad you put her straight and blocked her op.

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/10/2017 21:03

Geez op there are no words....

Block them don't speak to them ever again you deserve more!!

I'm sorry op Flowers

Dailystuck71 · 24/10/2017 21:05

I am speechless at her response but good for you. She can go and fuck herself.

schmoozypoo · 24/10/2017 21:25

What an awful human being she is, I think you are totally right to tell her to go fuck herself and I can only imagine how angry your husband is.

beluga425 · 24/10/2017 21:33

You thread made me feel so angry on your behalf. Couldn't think of what to say but:
Flowers

Original poster
PhDPepper · 24/10/2017 21:34

The thing is, is he’s doing some legal work for her that was to be billed at cost price so making no money on it but he’s just drafted an invoice for the full amount. It was ‘at the firms discretion’ that it was mates rates and he’ll say they haven’t agreed so she’ll need to pay private rate.

She’s such a giant twat, I did so much for her when she was pregnant. Fuck em I don’t need shit like this in my life. Can’t wait to go to Boston now!

OP posts:
Sweetpea55 · 24/10/2017 21:55

Poor you. Sounds like you have been through a really shitty time. A real friend would there for you. She's made a judgment without knowing all the facts

CandleWithHair · 24/10/2017 21:59

Fucking hell OP. With friends like that...

SO glad you told her to go and fuck herself and while I normally don’t agree with putting people on blast on social media, this utter shitsmurf of a woman utterly deserves it.

I hope you and DH have a fab holiday, put her firmly out of your thoughts the second you step on the plane (or before!)

Madwoman5 · 24/10/2017 22:16

Your ignorant assumption is way off the mark, your comments uncalled for, unwanted and hurtful. This subject is now over...like our "friendship".

CamperVamp · 24/10/2017 22:23

Your dignity is all. Personally I would not start a Fb war over something so sensitive and personal. Fb wars are such an undignified arena. No one wins.

Maybe go as far as posting a link to molarpregnancy.co.uk , the suppprt group, and say “molar pregnancy was one of the most difficult moments of my life. Happy to support this group to help other women who are going through this dreadful experience. Share, and let’s make people aware ‘

VoodooCat · 24/10/2017 22:27

I would get your DH to post her the comment at 00:46 from mumofmany81. I think it covers everything.

Enjoy your holiday and fuck the CFs.

Madwoman5 · 24/10/2017 22:30

I am astounded at the assumption you had made it up. What planet was she on when she makes something up rather than educate herself? At what point did she think that discussing your business and her vile assumptions with others was acceptable, thinking ok then, that's sorted do you want to come to her kids party or send money? Another entitled, judgemental CF.
Go enjoy your break. Put this crap behind you and hold your head up high. You have done more for molar pregnancy awareness than you think. Bless you.

Jux · 24/10/2017 22:34

How nice that your dp can hurt her in the pocket, as well as on fb. Sometimes there’s a silver lining.

I am still so angry on your behalf. I am feeling quite vicious!

TitaniasCloset · 24/10/2017 22:36

Haha! Love that update OP.

Have a wonderful time on your holiday Flowers

TitaniasCloset · 24/10/2017 22:39

I know it's been said on here already, but can I just say to anyone that has had an actual abortion for whatever reason, you do not deserve to be judged and treated like crap either, anyone of us could have been in your shoes Flowers

ohfourfoxache · 24/10/2017 22:40

Oh PhD I'm so pleased that he can refuse to do anything at mates rates.

What a fucking user she is to take advantage of you both and treat you like shit.

It's her loss

TitaniasCloset · 24/10/2017 22:44

So now she knows what karma actually is.

littlebillie · 24/10/2017 22:50

Judging shit friend you won’t need her again get on with your life 💐

MamaLeen · 24/10/2017 23:06

Firstly my biggest sympathys to you and you DH Flowers
I am honselty so bloody angry for you and your dh at how a 'friend' has treated you.
At Least you know her true colours and she is getting a little surprise when she receives her Bill from DH.
Enjoy your holiday and surround yourself with good people.
And as a side note have you had any counciling. I had councling when I had a miscarriage (not as bad as what you have been through) but it helped just to talk without feeling I may upset dh and it help me come to terms with everything.
Take care Flowers

hazeyjane · 24/10/2017 23:19

I'm open mouthed at this. I had a molar pregnancy in 2003. As it developed into a persistent trophoblastic tumour (choriocarcinoma) it took nearly a year of 2 different types of chemo before I was clear. It was punishing, and involved 2 long hospital stays hundreds of miles from home, 2 operations, endless scans, blood tests, side effects, chemo drips and a regimen of life time follow up. Some friends said insensitive stuff, some didn't understand what was going on, but no one was a prize shitstain like this person has been to you. Send them this link cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/gestational-trophoblastic-disease-gtd and tell them to fuck off.

Good luck. flowers

TemptressofWaikiki · 24/10/2017 23:28

So sorry about the traumatic and painful time you had. I knew very little about a molar pregnancy and now read up about it. The lack of compassion is horrendous. But and this is a big but, at no point would your ex friend have the moral high ground or right to judge you in any case. Hardly any woman undertakes the decision to have an abortion lightly and in no way, deserves the kind of reaction and vitriol either. I would personally completely block people for that kind of attitude in general. Since when has it become ok to judge and condemn such a deeply personal and frequently traumatic decision!

Original poster
PhDPepper · 24/10/2017 23:33

@hazeyjane I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. It’s fucking awful isn’t it? I had to have Methotrexate to get my hcg down and it was just dreadful,. I still have to post my wee samples to Sheffield, I had to have chemotherapy there and I live in Leeds, such a giant ball ache Sad

OP posts:
NoodleNinja · 24/10/2017 23:41

How awful for you OP, delete, block and practice your 'fuck you, you cunt' face for when you see her in the street again.