To think that I'm a bloody grown up and that I'll work wherever I want to and live wherever I want to?

[HelpMeMike]

First of all let me start off by saying that I'm 26 and still live at home. My parents have always been slightly overprotective of me but I feel like the older I get, the more overprotective and controlling they become.

I've worked since I was 18 but only on part time contracts and I've always tried to take on as much overtime as I could to try and boost my hours up to as close to full time as I could but there were times when I was still working only my contract hours. Anyway I have just been offered a full time job in an area which I have no experience in but would like to work in so naturally I have accepted it. I told my parents fully expecting them to be happy for me but they (especially my dad) just went off it with me instead. They keep telling me that it will be too much for me, that I won't cope, I will be tired and I should just stay where I am (working 16 hours in a restaurant). I think I am a perfectly capable intelligent adult but they just keep making me feel so useless and thick.

I want to take this job and move out but it's the same thing with moving out too...they say I won't be able to afford it, it will be too much for me, etc.

I want to give this new job a try and start enjoying life a bit but they just seemed so determined to hold me back and I'm scared of the fall out that will happen if I go for it.

It's not wrong to want to live a bit, is it?

You need to get out! Seriously. This is not a healthy situation. I’m 28 (almost), have a mortgage, married and expecting my first child any day now. But I don’t know how to be an adult! I swear to god I don’t know how people did it before google!

Just take the job, get yourself a decent room in a house share - best place to start so you’re not completely alone and will help you make friends.

Just do it! Don’t ask for permission. And if you need help google! Ask on mumsnet! No one has all the answers so everyone needs help - especially at adulting 😁

Good luck!

As PPs say you will need money for a deposit and moving costs, any unexpected costs, losing your job etc. Unless you already have decent savings you might want to stay where you are a bit longer while you save up. Making plans, saying nothing.

No matter who you are it’s always a bit daunting growing up and being out there in the world on your own. In your case OP just do it otherwise you’ll wake up one day and find all of life will have passed you by! Worst that happens you can always move back home but I’m confident you’ll find that you’ll easily find your wings

I even struggle to get jobs tbh. I usually make it to the interview stage and then never hear anything back.

How do they contact you, OP?
Do you ask them if they will be calling you on your mobile/landline or will they confirm via post?
I suggest you ask them to contact you via your mobile phone if they need to.
Your parents can easily intercept your post and/or landline phone calls.

Don't tell them about the job - just take it. Find a house-share near the job, apply for it and don't tell them.Hire a man and van - you'll find details on Gumtree or in local shops and supermarkets on the noticeboards - and book him for a certain date and time. Pack your stuff up and move out at a time when they are not there.

That's EXACTLY what i did!
It's the ONLY way when you're dealing with people like this.
One thing i would add to the above is: Soon as you've got the keys/signed the lease on your new home - change your address with your bank, GP, dentist,hospital etc asap.

Unfortunately, you can't trust your parents to put your wellbeing first, so you can't really trust them with anything.

All good advice. I really hope you can take it and start to live life.

As for the adulting - that just comes with practice and mistakes and a good helping of Oh Shit! and What a Giggle! and Oops!

The thing is, you don't need us all to tell you that leaving home is the 'right' thing to do, or that it's the normal passage of life.
What we can do is tell you all the cool stuff you can do in your own place...

Do you fancy a slice of cake for breakfast. Nobody can tell you no. Eat that cake!
Are you too tired to make a proper dinner? Eat four slices of toast and a big bag of crisps!
Rough day? Glass of wine in the bath!
Good film just about to start but it's a bit late...? Stay up! Watch that film! Is it a bit rude? A bit sexy? Even better!
Snoozing on the sofa on a lazy Sunday...
Walking around nekkid after a shower on a warm day... airdrying is the best.
Dancing round your kitchen like a twat when a good tune comes on the radio - fun! Singing along loudly and badly. Better!