Or is my mum over what to do with my bracelet?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

When I was 13 (20 years ago) my nan bought me a solid yellow gold bracelet for Christmas. It’s like a chunky curb style, and my mum wouldn’t let me wear it because she was afraid I’d lose it. She said I could have it when I turned 18.

I’ll be honest it’s not my style and never has been, I prefer minimal jewellery, usually delicate white gold pieces. Mum has worn herself pretty much every time I’ve seen her, it’s very much her style. So I’ve never asked for it back, but I also haven’t said my Mum can keep it either. She lives abroad now anyway so it’s not just like I can pop over for it.

My nan died 4 years ago, and I’ve been thinking of selling the bracelet to a jewellers and getting a charm for my charm bracelet with my nan’s favourite stone (every charm I have signifies something or someone to me). I figured this is better than never wearing a bracelet because I don’t really like it.

Mum is visiting soon and I rang this morning to ask her if she could bring my bracelet back with her. When she pressed further (she knows I’m not keen on the style) I told her my plan of getting a charm instead.

Mum is very sentimental about keepsakes and is upset, says I should either wear it or not wear it, but not sell it. She’s not willing to bring it over. I’d almost understand if she was upset on behalf of my nan, but she didn’t like my nan (her mother) and told me when she died that she was pleased (whole other story). I also wonder if she really wants to keep my bracelet for herself, she always wears it and I’ve said a few times “isn’t that my bracelet?” and she says if I’m not wearing it she may as well. TBF she’s kept it in a great condition, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not hers to wear.

WIBU? Am I right in thinking it’s not her call what I do with my jewellery?

If I had received it and wasn't mad about it but knew my mum really liked it and would wear it I would have gifted it to her years ago.

^This OP. The bracelet obviously means so much to your mum as she wears it everyday.

^This OP. The bracelet obviously means so much to your mum as she wears it everyday.

She doesn't wear it every day. According to the mum, she hasn't worn it in months and cares so little about it that she lost it (although that's obviously doubtful). Regardless, it's OP's property. You don't get to steal something and then keep it just because it means a lot to you.

OP, I think you're probably sensible to prepare yourself for not getting it back. I think asking your mum to claim on her insurance is a great idea, even if she's not likely to agree to it. Good that you're ready to have it out with her; it sounds like a frank conversation is needed.

I was left several family heirlooms when I was a teenager. I wore the necklace when I lived at home, but my mom kept them for me when I moved as I didn't have a safety deposit box - when I later asked for them, she said she'd get them next time she went (and kept forgetting). I think she felt it should have been left to her, not me. Later, I'd see her wearing the necklace but didn't have the nerve to ask for it - figured she could wear it and I'd just retrieve the items when she died. Well...turns out, after she died and I asked my brother for them, that she'd had them at home, they'd been taken in a break in, she'd claimed the insurance, and never told me. It's just stuff, but it really bothers me. Was a beautiful gold locket belonging to my grandmother, plus several brooches. I know this is a different situation than the OP, but similar to a PP - and similar mother daughter relationship dynamics.

I hope, OP, that your grandad can help you retrieve the bracelet. I'm sorry your mother is such a nasty, dishonest person.