Returned to work first time round when dd was 3 months old, and worked 3 days a week. Took a little longer off with dc 2 and 3 due to changes in maternity legislation, but was never out the workplace for as much as a year. Not going to lie, those early years were hard going, because childcare amounted to the same as my salary, and tbh my career stood still. Just doing 3 days meant I was maintaining rather than progressing. I then stepped back up to full time the term my youngest started in reception class. That was partly good fortune (a full time post came up in my field at this point) though I did waver a little in taking it. This would have been the first time since giving birth that I would have had any days off at home without kids (to this point, whenever they’d been in nursery, I was at work.) So there was a moment of temptation!
In retrospect returning full time was the best thing I ever did, because from that moment my career shifted into a different gear and I’ve had several promotions since and now in my early 50s I feel I’ve achieved where I want to be. The other aspect which tbh I thought about very little until the last couple of years is my pension, and of course now I’m so glad I never stopped paying into it, and have been paying into it As a full timer for almost 20 years since having kids.
Having said that, even those few years of part time work have knocked several thousand off my pension so clearly having kids will affect my income in later life. But to be fair, not that hugely.
Looking back from the vantage point of nearing early retirement, I would say yes, having children undoubtedly impacted my career more than dh’s. But stepping back up to full time once the kids were in school (despite the logistical headache of that) was the single most important factor in getting my career back on track.