To ask how having children affected your career?

[Fluffysparks]

Just that really. Were you employed before having the DC, how much time did you take out and do you think it affected your career? I’ve just realised that it probably has with me, in more ways than one, and I’ve been quite lucky as well...

recognise that part timers are not equal to full timers in terms of career progression, of course they arent.

But is it right for part-timers to have zero career progression?

I’m glad there are some employers out there that are enabling part time work and training and progression. As a part time worker I was still able to do the standard I did as full time I just did less overall (not proportionally less). If you read this thread there are few women who decided to give up work/ work pt on a whim and now expect to go in at the same level. I’m reading about women with few choices, whose previous excellent work was discounted and role was diminished. I’m reading about competent women grafting hard just not 5 days a week being sidelined and demeaned. I’m reading about women who managed full time but it was really hard.

People having children is inevitable. You would think the workplace could evolve to recognise that a couple of years pt is merely a drop in a 45+ year working life. But whilst there’s no incentive to work round babies and there’s enough other people who don’t work round their babies or don’t have babies to work round then I don’t see how things will change.

Pregnancy - promoted
7.5 year career break and been offered part time job of equal standing (not sure of responsibility though) and same pay.

So on this basis, along with femal friends and colleagues - I’d say I’m faiely well placed to comment.

But yes, we will see how it goes. I’ll adopt the same approach as i have always done with work, pre pregnancy, during pregnancy and now as a returner - it’s served me well.

But is it right for part-timers to have zero career progression?

Well, no, of course not. But this is not across the board, is it?

But yes I do think that part timers should expect that career progression will be less than that compared with a full time colleague of same productivity

I was also promoted during pregnancy. In my experience working while pregnant and working with kids aren't comparable at all. How could they be? Your responsibilities are totally different.

Forgive me for being blunt, but you're coming across as naive. People who have actually returned to work after kids are in a much stronger place to comment on how difficult it is. Having said that, I do sincerely hope it works well for you.

wishing
Rather than kick up a fuss about something we don’t think is actually wrong, we work damn hard and get progression that way, rather than stamping our feet.
People with this attitude infuriated me because they assume its the same for everyone, and anyone not succeeding is slacking.
I always worked hard in my career, and worked just as hard after a years maternity leave with each child, albeit part time. Unfortunately, being part time, I wasn't always kept in the loop at work, and was bottom of the pile for professional development. Add to that a dh who worked away, didn't take time off for sick kids (I have covered all bar one day, to date), and no family support available. No matter how hard I worked, and how many suggestions i made, the opportunities for progression were not available. They were restricted to those who were seen as providing more value (full-time, with older or no kids).
It does depend an awful lot on your employer.

Fair enough
I’ll see how I go and no doubt be posting on a similar thread in a year’s time!

Having children broke both my career and me.

I was brought up to believe in equal opportunities and that if you were good enough you would always rise to the top. BC I had a high flying career as a partner in a City law firm. I went back to work after three months to show my commitment. My DC woke at least twice a night until he was 4. At 4 months he got rotavirus and was hospitalised. One male partner in my group never spoke to me again after I had to walk off his job to go to hospital with my DC (and yes I found someone else to do his work before I left!).

On my second mat leave I was told that the (male) partners in my group had decided that I should work in another (related but not the same) business area to my specialisation. To my shame I agreed and my career and contacts never recovered though I worked like a dog with plenty of sleeping on the office floor. I was given no support and really it was just a way of making me leave. I'm a stubborn bastard though so I hung on and had a third child. One of my DC has SN so I also struggled to attend appointments, get home in time to see the children before they went to be, then went back to work again.

Eventually I was "managed out". At that point I had a breakdown. Then found that my exH (also a partner in a City law firm) who had never in his life got up with a child, taken them to an appointment or done anything other than put his career first, had been "working late" with many colleagues.

We divorced and he still tells me regularly what a useless fucker I am.

Indigo, I’m really sorry about your horrible former employer, and ex H. He is the useless fucker. You sound like you coped with a lot. Hope your health and situation is better now.

It’s a classic example of why the trite “don’t stamp your feet, work hard and you’ll be rewarded” is bollocks and denies the structural barriers and discrimination mothers often face.

Jesus Indigo, you poor thing.

It's very tough when you realise you've been lied to by society about having it all. And actually, I think the more high flying the career, the more difficult it can be to maintain post DC.

I don't want to hijack the thread because I think it is actually a massively important piece of empirical evidence why discrimination against women has not disappeared at all and I hope Mumsnet preserve it for ever.

But thanks very much Dozer and Laurie for your kind words

I had a child at 43 I am the CEO of a charity. It made it ten times harder to think clearly and have the energy and enthusiasm I used to have for work.

I never thought my career would be affected by having a child. That’s what after school clubs are for, right? Then I had a child with SEN. He simply can’t cope with long days or busy holiday clubs, has endless appointments, and often has issues at school which necessitate a dash to his side.

I juggled it for a bit but the stress made me ill. I couldn’t focus on my work anyway, and any sort of training or development was far beyond my mental capacity. So I freelance now. It means I’m doing a job that’s way below what I used to do, and it means no sick pay or pension contributions, but the only other option is to magically find a term time job or go on benefits.

I do worry about my future. Will anyone want to hire me in ten years time? Will I lose my skills? It’s pretty bleak.

Indigo -so sorry you had this experience. So many (mainly male) law firm partners are still living in the dark ages. But the world is changing and they will eventually have to change to.

Dingdong, yes it’s the endless appointments that threaten to scupper my career too. It’s the SN element that I find the most challenging to juggle, not least as even when you find bosses/colleagues who relate to the having children thing, the chances of them also having experience of all the hospital appts, etc is very slim.

There are weeks where I wonder whether I’m doing the right thing in working, but then I always remember that I’ll probably have at least one of my children at home for the rest of their life, so I need to be able to support them financially. And we all have a better life as a result of my income and financial independence.

And Indigo, for you - sorry you’ve encountered so many arseholes.