To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

[HulaMelody]

I always did the top up, vest down when bf mine but that was because some places were cold and I didn’t want air con/bitter wind making me chilly and uncomfortable.

I don’t give a shiny shit what’s discreet or not. Folk don’t need to look.

[53rdWay]

As a vegetarian I'm really squeamish about seeing people eat fish. And shellfish. Especially shellfish, urgh. I'm not making this up for an example, I really do hate seeing it.

Up to now I've been dealing with this by thinking it's my problem and looking away. Should I shift to asking people to eat their prawn cocktail sandwiches discreetly behind a newspaper? After all, it's not THAT much effort for them, is it? You don't need to flaunt your whole prawn cocktail sandwich to the world in order to eat it, right?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

My son pulls covers off. And I can’t check his latch when he’s covered any way. Funnily enough his comfort and mine is more important to me than some prissy stranger who probably doesn’t bat an eyelid when they see a nipple in public that 1) is attached to a penis-owner, and the 2) is on display for reasons wholly unrelated to sustaining the life of a child 👍🏽

[WineGummyBear]

I'm with sleeponeday.

Breasts in a newspaper for men to enjoy fine.

Breasts feeding babies? In public? Think of the children!

[Sparklingbrook]

I can honestly say I don't really notice what mothers are doing with their babies in cafes/restaurants. I am chatting to friends or on my phone.

I have managed to raise 2 DC without seeing any of this boob swinging partially naked breastfeeding which I keep hearing about. Is it a new thing?

[sleeponeday]

"Why should the bf mum's feelings override someone else's?"

Because they're her boobs. And she is feeding a baby.

Why on earth should your feelings be relevant on this point?

[BonkToTheFinish]

My son pulls covers off. And I can’t check his latch when he’s covered any way. Funnily enough his comfort and mine is more important to me than some prissy stranger who probably doesn’t bat an eyelid when they see a nipple in public

No one mentioned covers though

[sleeponeday]

I have managed to raise 2 DC without seeing any of this boob swinging partially naked breastfeeding which I keep hearing about. Is it a new thing?

Now you come to mention it, I've missed it as well.

I'm feeling slightly parochial now.

[LaurieMarlow]

Some people find discretion harder than others. If you've got big boobs, a wriggly baby or a poor latch, being 'discrete' isn't necessarily easy.

Which is why I strongly object to posts like the OPs. BF isn't something that needs to be done 'perfectly' in order to be acceptable in public. We're don't all have nice small boobs and a refined technique.

Every mum I ever met was just doing their best. Unless the mum in question is dancing in the table with tassles hanging off her tits then really joe public can fuck off with their cries for discretion. Any mum I've ever met was being as discrete as her body and her baby allowed her to be.

[Sparklingbrook]

Maybe it's a regional thing sleep. I do live in a bit of a one horse town TBF.

[Wolfiefan]

What percentage of boob on show is acceptable?
How weird. The breast is out to breast feed a child. Unless she's stripped to the waist and is twirling a nipple tassel on the unoccupied boob I really can't see an issue.

[ElizabethShaw]

Bonk when you talk about women not being discreet enough for you, do you literally just mean women should wear lose tops they can pull up and never wear buttoned shirts or dresses in public while breastfeeding?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show because it does make some people a little uncomfortable

Gay couples make some people** a little uncomfortable. Mixed race people make some people a little uncomfortable. Disabled people in public make some people a little uncomfortable.

We don’t tell these people to be discrete because if you’re uncomfortable about any of them, you’re a bit stupid and at the very least you are unreasonably discriminatory.

Same goes for breastfeeding. In yet to her** a logical and non/sexist reason for people being uncomfortable with BF in public.

[Fruitcorner123]

vladimirspoutine laughing my head off at ostentiously breastfeeding do you have a picture?

[ElizabethShaw]

What are you supposed to do if breastfeeding in a bikini?

[picklemepopcorn]

See, there are lots of things I don’t like seeing in public.
People chewing with their mouths open, so I can see the food churning around.
Some piercings make me wince.
Trousers that hang low so I can see undies. It’s not obscene but I just want to hook them up.
People whose fringes are in their eyes.
I really detest swearing, and I can’t avoid that by looking elsewhere.

I just have to put up with it.

Someone showing a lot of breast while breast feeding just wouldn’t register as a problem.

[BonkToTheFinish]

Bonk when you talk about women not being discreet enough for you, do you literally just mean women should wear lose tops they can pull up and never wear buttoned shirts or dresses in public while breastfeeding

Nope, not even that. I can even think of ways to be discreet whilst wearing a dress that the whole breast may have to come out.

I am talking about someone who just lets the whole boob go without consideration, someone who just lets it hang whilst doing whatever.

Such as the person previously mentioned who had boob out completely and what not before even reaching into her pram to pick her just awoken baby out

[Waddlelikeapenguin]

Well I've bf for about 9 years in total & due to massive (L cup) boobs, huge nipples (every mw & hv commented ) & tongue/lip tied babies even with my third there was a good bit of waving my boob about to get it into the baby in a non excruciating way.
By the third i couldnt give a fuck/had two older kids to worry about but wuth the first this kind of thread would have had me practising feeding in front of a mirror & feeding in public with a very painful & damaging latch because i was worried about not being descreet enough.

Also feeding with boob not fully out of the bra can/does cause painful blocked ducts.

People should feed their babies however they want to & if you find the bottle or boob offensive then LOOK AWAY.

[gherkinperkin]

YANBU. I’m ebf my baby so obviously often have to feed him while out and about, but I don’t feel there’s any need to expose myself unnecessarily. One top up, one top down, and you can barely see a thing. I’m not a prude and have no issue with my own body or that of others, and I do think breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. However, I can appreciate that even though it’s using them for their natural purpose etc, ‘getting a whole boob out’ may well make some people feel uncomfortable. And given that I can feed my baby perfectly well without needing to do that, why would I?

[expatinscotland]

Yeah, YABU.

[BonkToTheFinish]

Gay couples make some people a little uncomfortable. Mixed race people make some people a little uncomfortable. Disabled people in public make some people a little uncomfortable

We don’t tell these people to be discrete because if you’re uncomfortable about any of them, you’re a bit stupid and at the very least you are unreasonably discriminatory

These people can’t help being bloody gay or mixed race. What utter tosh.

You can very easily, however, apply a small bit of discretion to feeding your baby.

[Morphene]

Its so depressing that women are STILL judging other women for their breast feeding.

Lets just try and stop it shall we? Lets try and live in a world were we don't pick holes in what other women are doing at a really really difficult time of their lives.

[ElizabethShaw]

So basically you once saw one women who got her boob out before picking up the baby

What about the woman with twins, is she excused?