To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

[taratill]

say of course there is a right to bf however you wish to. Please tell me when I’ve disputed that point ?

[mistymumma]

You say that some people don't feel comfortable with seeing 'boobs'... okay well what if you aren't comfortable with covering up? Yes it is natural. Yes the lady could have been more discreet... but did she have to be? Of course not. What offends some people should be none of that woman's business. God, if I was offended by something, just don't look, surely? Just like the people who bitch and moan about soaps... still watching though ain't they?

[sayyouwill]

@SnowWhite33 look slightly to the right/left/up/down/at your companion/at the cute waiter/at the end of your nose/at your food/at your phone/at the menu etc etc.
What you shouldn't do is get up, move seats to join a mother breastfeeding her child, sit down, lower your eyeline to her breast level and move baby out the way so you can get a good look.

[silverbell64]

Whats wrong is that sometimes its not all about making a point, its about consideration to others. Im in a coffee shop and no i don't want anything other than a bit of decorum when breastfeeding. Cover your tits up. Thank you.

[LaurieMarlow]

Just answer the question taratil. If you can't articulate a 'point' this hypothetical mother is making then all you're posting is spurious nonsense.

[BubblyCat]

@SnowWhite33 did you consider looking at your food or the person you came with?

[WhatWouldGenghisDo]

all about the breastfeeding mother I didn't feed my baby because it was some sort of hobby. It's all about the baby for heavens sake.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@SnowWhite33 do you realise how ridiculous you sound with this "in your face" nonsense? They won't in your face, they'll be sat elsewhere, and unless you have issues with neck mobility or eye movement you'll be able to look in every other direction.

Paying for a posh meal doesn't mean you get to control what the other customers do. You'd need to book out the whole place if you want to guarantee that you won't see anything you find uncomfortable.

[BubblyCat]

@silverbell64 if you advise breastfeeders to be considerate towards your sense of decorum, surely you also need to be considerate of breastfeeders need to breastfeed? Regardless of how much boob they show?

[LaurieMarlow]

silverbell I don't believe a breastfeeding mother should show consideration for you. You should show consideration for her. That would make you pro-breastfeeding.

Demanding consideration for yourself is the opposite.

[sayyouwill]

@silverbell64 no it's all about feeding your baby. What is so hard to understand about this?
It isn't about you and you're precious teacake. You have the right to move seats or just not look, just like we have the right to feed our children

[taratill]

gengis we’ve been here before too, it’s quite boring. I just don’t follow an argument that because you bf it’s fine to make a point by having your breasts out when it is not necessary to feed the baby. I think it’s rare but does happen. I think even in countries where bf is a social norm it would be considered unacceptable

[SnowWhite33]

@kaytee87 well if thats the case then it should be even more of a reason to find a more discreet place or try to cover at least show some effort shouldnt it?
However i met the said person several times and get the impression latching was not the issue, its just the way she does it (and the child is not a small baby either)

[taratill]

laurie read my reply to gengis

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@silverbell64 you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that your personal sense of "decorum" is universally accepted or correct. It's clear from just this thread that many people don't have the same sense of decorum and don't think you're correct in your assessment of it.

[ZoopDragon]

I fed with my whole boob out in restaurants, on buses, walking around shops with baby in a carrier. It felt natural and comfortable. Sometimes I draped a scarf over my shoulder but only when I felt like I wanted more privacy. The more women who bf openly the better IMO. I found the top up top down method fiddly and cumbersome, and too hot in summer. Scarf or muslins can slip. I hated those tops with holes to squeeze a nipple through, it felt undignified trying to unhook bra and get nipple discreetly through a hole. And when you have baby in a carrier, taking a boob out is quickest and easiest.

I feel 'uncomfortable' by lots of things I see in public: bare thighs, transparent leggings with no skirt on top, shirtless men, people with visible armpit hair etc but that's my issue. I just look away. If an exposed boob bothers you, just don't look. Saying you should only feed discreetly is like saying women must only dress modestly, should cover anything that might cause offence etc.

[silverbell64]

In a public place everyone should show consideration for others whether its breastfeeding or whatever. I do not want to see tits over my coffee nor do i want to see kids climbing over tables, nor do I want to listen to people shouting on their phones.

It's about consideration for all, not just the few.

[LaurieMarlow]

I asked a very simple question which you keep refusing to answer.

It's very simple, it would go like this ...

'She might be making the point that x,y,z'

[Tatiebee]

I really can't understand why there needs to be a discussion about this, it's simply a breast being used for its one and only intended purpose.

[kaytee87]

@SnowWhite33 don’t be ridiculous, why should someone have to hide away to feed their baby? Good for her that she found a way that works for her and her baby.

[SnowWhite33]

@AssassinatedBeauty let me disagree with you.
I think people defending this kind of attention seeking sound ridiculous.
That is my opinion and if the boob is in my face in a public place and i dont like it, then i have a right to say so.
As i said OTT

[LaurieMarlow]

no silverbell it's about consideration for the vulnerable.

Which you, eating your tea cake in comfort and prosperity are not.

[LaurieMarlow]

No-ones boob is in your fave snowwhite quit the hysterical nonsense

[BubblyCat]

In a public place everyone should show consideration for others whether its breastfeeding or whatever. I do not want to see tits over my coffee nor do i want to see kids climbing over tables, nor do I want to listen to people shouting on their phones.

It's about consideration for all, not just the few.

You say that it’s about consideration for all, but your description only mentions making things ok for you. Other people might want to breastfeed without someone judging them. They are well within their rights to do so. You are being inconsiderate by complaining about them, but expect courtesy from them? Seems fair!

[BubblyCat]

@SnowWhite33 if a boob is in your face surely you are the one who is breastfeeding? An entirely separate issue