To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Not one to person has answered my point about social norms in countries where bf is more acceptable when it comes to having breasts on display whilst not feeding in an eating establishment.

I know someone who would put her child on her lap then take her breast out fully and then sort of lower it on the child to feed. Now why would you do that?

Because you're feeding your child?

I had to do it this way sometimes as I sometimes fed in the rugby ball position. That was the easiest way to get a latch.

Oh no, sorry. Despite being exhausted, leaking, recovering from Labour, sleep deprived to insanity and trying to feed in the easiest way my mastitis-ridden, leaking K cups allowed, it was actually because I wanted to titillate and offend people.

@SnowWhite33 did someone actually put her boob in your face in a nice restaurant that you were willing to spend a lot of money in (not sure why that makes a difference). You sound more ridiculous with every post.

Its about consideration. Having a child is not a disease, nor is it an excuse for being non discreet. Im all for breast feeding just not doing to the point it makes other in society that aren't feel uncomfortable.

Why am I being ridiculous if i expect people to have some level of consideration for each other??
I want to enjoy my experience at the restaurant too or is breastfeeding mother superior to other diners at the restaurant? Can there not be a compromise or is that ridiculous too?

@silverbell64 I’m all for people sitting in Starbucks as long as they aren’t making people uncomfortable with their self righteous condemnation - it’s all about consideration

When I had my first DC my identity was subsumed into motherhood. I wore feeding tops most of the time to be a "perfect" breastfeeder and I'm ashamed to say I probably made comments about mum's who whip out their whole boob.

Now I have my second DC I'd rather retain a bit of my identity ta, and this may include wearing clothes I like and feel good in which involve getting my boob out at the top to feed DD (not really showing the whole boob, it's got my baby's head in front of it).

Believe me, my boob is a ton nicer to look at than my muffin top

@SnowWhite33 if you went up to any breastfeeding mother and said this, you're far more likely to be kicked out of wherever you are than they are. Legally they are protected.
I'm assuming you can't be a mother based on your shocking attitude towards other people. Have you ever found something difficult or embarrassing before? Imagine being shamed for doing that when you've only just begun? Reckon you'll feel good? Reckon you'd continue? Christ I really hope arseholes like you don't put some poor mother off breastfeeding her child.

Not one to person has answered my point about social norms in countries where bf is more acceptable when it comes to having breasts on display whilst not feeding in an eating establishment.

What? Who is sitting around topless not breastfeeding? Sitting topless in a restaurant 'just because' has nothing to do with breastfeeding.

And you have actively avoided the question of what constitutes of 'indiscreet', and how much flesh needs to be on display for it to be ostentatious.

I'm sorry to reiterate a point I made up thread but it seems relevant again.

There are certain words that are used to control women. We are told we are bad unless we 'have consideration for others', i.e., put others' needs before our own (and our baby's, in this case). If we assert ourselves we are 'attention-seeking' or 'aggressive'. These are misogynist messages that are used to keep women in their place.

Breastfeeding women are just tired, dedicated women feeding their baby. They aren't aggressive or attention-seeking and they shouldn't be expected to have consideration for others. They have more important things to do.

Do people really still have issues with seeing a bare breast being used to feed a baby?

Aren't we over this yet?

Who cares whether someone is being discreet or not. Stop ogling and get on with your own business.

Where are these cafes where people are wandering around topless squirting milk at hapless would-be tea cake eaters? You don’t see much of that round these parts

@kaytee87 yes the distance was close enough to describe it as 'in my face'
Im done discussing this as clearly consideration for others is not something you would think about

Tired and dedicated? They had a baby. Its normal and yes consideration should still be applied.

Silverbells is basically saying its bad manners to not cover up whilst breastfeeding. Women should know that they should be seen and not heard. Or rather not seen or heard in this instance. What an archaic opinion.

I wish people would stop saying that they managed to feed discreetly therefore it's not hard and so everyone else is just being difficult if they can't too.
Well done you. Not everyone finds it so easy so stop making other people feel like they are failing if they can't.

Fun anecdote. I was out with my baby this summer. He usually feeds so routinely, only for naps and at night, hadn't had to feed him whilst out and about for a good couple of months. So I was wearing a strapless maxi dress out for a coffee one afternoon between nap times. (You can probably see where this is headed) he decided he wanted milk for some reason (it transpired he was actually coming down with a bug so probably explains the additional feed in hindsight) he was clamouring at my top and crying. I was mid coffee and chat with my friend. I actually wouldn't usually get the whole boob over the top of the dress like that but I wasn't prepared to lift the dress up and sit in my pants. So I did, I got the whole breast out. He fed a bit. Played with my nipple a bit and have a good look around whilst he was there.
I must admit I was a little self conscious but then simultaneously annoyed that I felt that way. Why should I? I'm just feeding my baby. It's 2017 surely we have moved on a bit?
So hands up. It was me. I'm the one you all saw with their entire tit out. Sorry!
N.B even if I had a muslin, which I did not, there is 0% chance my baby would have tolerated having it draped across his already sweaty head on a hot day. And actually would have provided further distraction for him, resulting in less sucking and more exposure.

this thread is WILD

Can there not be a compromise or is that ridiculous too?

Well the compromise is YOU LOOK THE OTHER WAY. There, problem solved!!

laurie I can’t answer your question because I don’t know what point she is trying to make. I can make an
Assumption that it is ‘I bf as is my legal right/ in babies interests etc’ none of which I I am arguing with, so what’s your point?

@sayyouwill if you read my first post i said i have toddler whom i breastfed and currently pregnant with baby no2 whom i also intend to breastfeed. Also in public places.
But for me its an intimate process between me and my child so i try to be discreet.

laurie I can’t answer your question because I don’t know what point she is trying to make. I can make an
Assumption that it is ‘I bf as is my legal right/ in babies interests etc’ none of which I I am arguing with, so what’s your point?

Taratill, you ARE arguing with this. You're saying she's not doing it the way you think she should.

Wonder I have not! You are choosing not to
Read my posts!

I actually can’t believe this thread.

ANYONE who is on “team discreet” is essentially agreeing with a culture which says boobs are primarily for the pleasure of men.

So if you assume she's making a point you agree with, what's your problem with women making points via breastfeeding choices?

So it’s absolutely fine to sit with your breast out for 5 to 10 mins with baby in pram? Ok!