To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

I will never understand this. They're just boobs. They don't fire laser-guided missiles.

There isn’t any need to have the whole thing out at all

Its not a thing! Its a breast ffs.
Used to feed babies with.

Bet you dont give a shiney shit when you are in Marbs and the beach is full of topless women....but hey getting a tan is ok feeding your child is not

OP, were you looking for the "I Am Not Being Unreasonable" topic?

Some people don’t feel comfortable seeing that and don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by acting on this.

Acting on it? What exactly would that involve?

There was a mum in my dc's class who had the best breastfeeding technique I have ever seen. She always wore a sort of corset and then just hitched up a boob until it was vertical, and balanced her baby on top. I have never seen anyone feed like that. Discreet it was not, but it was AMAZING.

Yes discrete has an entirely different meaning but it is very obvious what the OP means. I would have thought anyone with the intelligence to notice and know the difference would also have been able to realise this without needing to be pedantic and point it out.

OP, YABU. Why do you care?

If you're offended, that's your problem

You're not eating with your head under a big sheet so why should a baby?

Have you not read the thread at all?

I have specifically said a cover up item like that is not needed one bit

There is 0 need to cover a baby’s head. No need at all

I was crap at being discreet/discrete whilst breastfeeding. Needed to be virtually naked to get a good latch. I was in such a state over it I would have broken down in tears if I knew some stranger was criticising me when I was trying my hardest.

There is 0 need to cover a baby’s head. No need at all

There is also 0 need to cover a breast. No need at all. Because most people don’t give a shiny shite. They aren’t obsessed by women’s breasts.

I find it really tricky to get enough boob out for baby to latch on while keeping enough covered to be 'discreet' (that's DISCREET by the way not discrete). So sometimes I have a bit more on show than I intend.
Whilst wrangling my nursing bra and top with one hand and holding my hungry baby with the other hand, other people's feelings about seeing my boob are not high on my list of considerations.

When I breastfed I did so discreetly as to not embarrass anyone else if anything. Other people don’t want to see a breast hanging out which is their prerogative. You don’t have to sit in the toilet hiding away, there’s ways round feeding without showing your breasts.

I find it really sad that women are judged on literally everything they do (or don't do). BF in public? Someone will be shocked. Someone else will approve but judge you for not doing it "right".Bottle feeding? Awful! Tits not pretty enough for public view? Scandalous!
Even sadder still is that most of the judgement comes from other women. It seems like there are a thousand correct ways to do everything and we absolutely must adhere to every judgey standard at once, or we are just WRONG.
In situations where you can't get it right no matter what, you might as well just please yourself and hope that the tutters fuck off and disapprove of someone else eventually.

It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show because it does make some people a little uncomfortable.

Those people feel uncomfortable precisely because they aren't accustomed to seeing it. The more they are exposed to BFing, them more accustomed they will be come and they will stop feeling uncomfortable.

Just like wearing a bikini, it is up to the woman to decide how much boob to expose. Just like when someone around you is wearing a bikini, you have the right not to look if you don't like seeing it.

Lots of women wear bikini tops that cover far less of their boob than a newborn's head would.

People really do need to stop thinking they have the right to influence how a woman chooses to feed her baby.

If you don't like what you see, look away.

The OP isn't saying people should cover themselves.
She is asking if it's reasomable to find attention seeking lookmat me with my tit out people a bit odd.

I couldn't care less if i see a bit of boob during feeding. I would find it odd given it's perfectly possible to feed in public without sitting with your whole boob out for someone to opt to do that. It is a bit look at me.

Why would you not consider others? You may be fine showing off your breasts, others may feel uncomfortable. Why should their feelings not matter? Why should the bf mum's feelings override someone else's?
Showy-offy bfing does not make someone a better mum, really it doesn't.

Just look in another direction. Utilise that thing called a 'neck' and don't fucking stare if you find a baby having it's dinner so fucking offensive.Or close your eyes. Or, preferably, just fucking fuck off

No need for your use of aggression.

It isn’t always as simple as walking or looking away, especially if you’re in close proximity etc, or whatever else. People don’t want to appear to be rude.

I don’t get my whole breast out, because I don’t need to and it isn’t like I’d sit eating my meal in Spain with my breasts out. I would cover them.

Again, being discreet isn’t a hardship or a difficult thing to do. The whole breast does not need to be for you to feed baby.

I bf my twins together out and about otherwise one would be crying (bringing even more attention to me). There were times when one boob was 'out' even with the one top down, one top up method of dressing as I would only have one hand to pick up second baby and latch them so had to have boob ready. I was as quick as possible and definitely didn't flaunt my boobs. However I couldn't give flying fuck if anyone was 'uncomfortable' about seeing my boob!

"Why should the bf mum's feelings override someone else's?"

Because, amazingly, some people struggle to be 'discrete'.

And, because that other person can just fucking LOOK AWAY.

If you're wearing a dress you have to get your boob out, you can't lift a dress up!

"No need for your use of aggression. "

I disagree, when you have people in this thread saying things like this:

"I was in such a state over it I would have broken down in tears if I knew some stranger was criticising me when I was trying my hardest."

But yeah, your right to not have to look in one particular direction is definitely more important.

I have specifically said a cover up item like that is not needed one bit

There is 0 need to cover a baby’s head. No need at all

Double K cup, so enormous boobs. Tongue-tied babies who need two hands to feed, because they can't latch without specific holds to their heads, and a hand on the boob. And then once that starts to ease off, a 6 month old who would abruptly let go and crane the neck to see what was happening around them.

It's easy enough when the baby is tiny and not that mobile. After a certain point, trying to control what they do is laughably impossible.

I'm not someone with much body confidence so I was as "discreet" as you might dare to wish. But I admire women who aren't that inhibited. Good for them. They are just body parts, FGS.

How we have lived in a world that had tits on a daily newspaper page until a couple of years ago, and on the front pages of some in newsagents when I was a kid, and people don't turn a hair about topless sunbathing in some contexts, but we have a conniption about public breastfeeding... it's sad.

Why should the bf mum's feelings override someone else's?

They don’t, get child's feelings of hunger do.

her child’s.

Again, being discreet isn’t a hardship or a difficult thing to do.

It also isn't a requirement of breastfeeding mothers that they expose less than a specified area of skin when feeding their babies.

The problem isn't the mother doing the feeding; it is the people who seem to find it necessary to get involve in something that has nothing whatsoever to do with them.

Of course you can look away. It is possible to speak to someone without looking at their boobs once.