To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Basically what posters seem to be saying is that they don't mind women breastfeeding but they won't tolerate those women feeling OK about it.

Exactly this, and with a dash of 'but what if my husband feels slightly uncomfortable?'

... judgement on women.

Not sure why women can’t breastfeed discreetly, I managed it well enough.
I doubt many people want to see a bare breast whilst they’re eating in a restaurant.
I certainly don’t.

No I don't feel the need to get my tits out either. I also don't understand why other think its ok to do so in a non discreet manner in a public place. Yes of course women need to feed on demand but there's a way to do it and a way not. Just like everything else.

gengis that’s your spin on it. It’s patently NOT what is being said.

Actually nobody knows what's being said, as you haven't actually explained what indiscreet or 'ostentatious' BF is...

@taratill so it’s ok to post ‘whacky pictures’ then? I genuinely don’t understand what all the fuss is about?

Exactly taratill

You obviously live in an alternate reality

And have you seen it often tara ?

@silverbell64 quite a few people have explained on this thread why they had to breastfeed in a way that others might have found indiscreet. I suggest you read through them and consider whether they were flashing just because they could, or whether actually you might be judging a little harshly.

So you're so spectacularly unimaginative that you can't understand other women face more difficulties than you breastfeeding?

That you've never considered what it's like to have a baby with a poor latch, a strong let down, twins, large breasts, fidgety baby.

Give your head a wobble and try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. And until you manage that, you're part if the problem.

I have genuinely never ever seen a woman feed in a way I felt was indiscreet. Which leads me to believe that either I live in a complete backwater of non-breast feeding or some people think that all breast feeding is indiscreet.

@surferjet @silverbell64
I'll repeat why I couldn't feed discreetly for you since you've ignored all the many reasons outlined in the thread.
I needed to use a nipple shield. I couldn't get it on very easily so needed to get my boob out, get it in position before I could feed my son. I couldn't do it with a cover thrown over and juggling my son. He also refused to feed under a cover. In your almighty wisdom, what should I have done? Just because you're journey was easy, doesn't mean everyone's was.

Rufus I have only once seen a woman be indiscreet as was mentioned upthread.

On that occasion (as mentioned earlier) the lady had her breast out for several minutes before lifting her child to feed. It seemed ostentatious or like she didn’t care that it’s not a social norm to drink coffee with a breast on display. A lot of people in the cafe were uncomfortable with it

BonkToTheFinish is right, it can make people a bit uncomfortable. And even though it shouldn't, I think there's got be to be an understanding and a level of tolerance for those people, and so I wouldn't see anything wrong with being discrete. It doesn't take any real effort.

I think some people really just need to read the original post.

@Topher2488 why is other people's possible discomfort more important than a mother feeding her baby in the best way for them?

@sayyouwill

Well it was unexpected and an incongruous sight in a supermarket, also it really was a fair chunk of her bottom cheeks showing, far more flesh than you'd see if she was wearing bikini bottoms, and to be honest I can't remember actually seeing someone in RL wearing a thong bikini. She had every right to wear what she did of course but frankly I wouldn't want my DD to wear such an outfit in public. If that makes me prude of the year then so be it.

Topher, why does there have to be a level of tolerance? There are lots of things that shouldn't be tolerated (racism, homophobia, anti-semitism etc)

People shaming vulnerable new mothers for doing the best they can for their babies? No, I don't have a level of tolerance for that.

So it's perfectly natural to be gay. But you don't have to kiss your partner or hold their hand in public. You can do that either behind closed doors, in your own home, or go to the toilet and do it if you just can't wait. If that isn't available, they could hold hands under a cover or something if they must. It's not hard! It makes some people uncomfortable to see that kind of thing and I think we should be tolerant and understanding towards them.

(See how your logic works in a different scenario?)

What bothers me is that I am being accused of being anti bf for saying that I think that is OTT. By any social norms , including in societies where bf is more acceptable than here that would not be normal behaviour

I did read your post tara but i just wondered if there had been very many instances

I absolutely appreciate that you are not getting worked up the slightest

But some posters seem to be getting a bit annoyed with something that only happens rarely

And ffs topher people have explained many times why it takes more than significant effort for some mums.

tara

Well i dont think youre anti breast feeding

Its just seems a weird thing for someone (not you) to start a thread about when, as I say, it doesnt seem to happen very much

@silverbell64 I have read the original post, @sayyouwill among others has given one example of why you might not cover up. Surely these are answers to the original post

Then I'm sure you would have taken this into account and didn't sit in the middle of starbucks at peak time.