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Original poster

to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

999 replies

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 10:24

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

OP posts:
whoopwhoop21 · 21/10/2017 23:27

rufus to me he was so bad he was good.

arethere poor you. 😉

Si1verst0rm · 21/10/2017 23:28

Oh my god, the thread is still going!

Let me hazard a guess - has anyone suggested SAHM's are a poor role model to their daughters yet?

Has anyone pointed out SAHMs will be financially ruined when their DH leaves them?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 23:30

Well the thread was getting interesting with postman pat and tom hardy and stuff

Seems to be regressing again

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 23:31

Good post from internethoop jumper

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 23:31

People just shouldn't brag

Not about their job, or husband or children or car or holiday

Facebook should be banned

Solve a lot of issues I reckon

ALittleMoreEducation · 21/10/2017 23:33

Is Postman Pat a good role model?

On the one hand he is kind to people and animals and has a useful job.
On the other hand is a white middle class man.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/10/2017 23:34

So, I've jusT wiki-ed Tom Hardy's wife and it appears that she is indeed a low achieving sahm. Her career is down the drain as she hasn't worked for 2 years. She is gonna be fucked if he divorces her.

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 23:34

@Internethoopjumper

Try reading the whole thread and the vile and spiteful shit the OP has spouted before you start bashing SAHMs being all 'angry.'

The fact YOU were a SAHM (allegedly,) doesn't give you a free rein to bitch about them FFS. Hmm

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 23:34

*Has anyone pointed out SAHMs will be financially ruined when their DH leaves them

But a lot of women are' and a lot of women. Stay in abisive relationships due to lack of money, you are worth millions, you don’t have the issue, but please do not deny or disrespect the women who post on. Here who have been financially ruined by denying their existancel

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 23:34

No

Cos i bet he rings the bell and posts the parcel note through the door straight away

thedcbrokemybank · 21/10/2017 23:35

Because we attribute social worth,cachet and status to what prop,e tell us they do
That doesn't make it right though and I think as a society we have a huge problem because of this. We don't value those jobs which offer low salaries but actually are intrinsic to the needs of society ie. carers. A significant amount of people also work in jobs because they have to rather than they want to.

So personally I'd rather teach my children to value people as individuals; for their skills and characteristics rather than the job they do.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 21/10/2017 23:35

I just want to second what you said here. Statically women who are SAHM are financially and socially more vulnerable than their working (male) partners. The one thing my parents always drilled into my head was that I should never be financially dependent on anyone and I am so glad I listened, because I couldn't stand not making my own money and having a gap in my resume.

A lesson all girls should have and one we have shared with ours.

Likewise for the boys, always ensure you choose a partner who is an equal and will share the financial side as well as the home side. I'd not want them ever to feel that they were chosen for their wallet size.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 23:35

That was to alittle

This thread moves fast

Right off to bed...night all

ALittleMoreEducation · 21/10/2017 23:36

Rufus

Pat would Never EVER. Each episode would only be two minutes and then he'd knock off.

I've also never heard him brag about his earnings.

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 23:36

@Bluntness100

Good post from internethoop jumper

Nah it really wasn't .....

Chocolaterainbows · 21/10/2017 23:37

**InternetHoopJumper

Agree with this poster.

Si1verst0rm · 21/10/2017 23:38

All that happened was, someone on another thread asked "How much do you earn".

According to the OP, myself and other should have just come on and stated, "Nothing." And then shut up.

Apparently, as SAHMs, we have no right to say any more than that. People are then free to imagine that we live on fresh air alone, or whatever else comes to mind - benefits, charity, life of crime or whatever.

However, my DH and I do think of "his" income as family income. We always did. Sorry if that doesn't compute with some people, but there it is.

It makes sense to mention your DH's income if you are a SAHM because that's what you're living off fgs! That is not the same as claiming you earn the bloody money.

whoopwhoop21 · 21/10/2017 23:39

night all.

Headofthehive55 · 21/10/2017 23:39

Good post from internet
To be fair both of us would be struggling if we didn't tag team our childcare. DH almost always drops off at breakfast time and generally does the sick days.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 21/10/2017 23:40

It’s a statement of fact,if you have no means and are reliant on a man you’re financially vulnerable if it ends.
Judges have told SAHM to get a job and not depend on maintenance

honeylulu · 21/10/2017 23:40

Read this way back in the thread but thought it was so good I'd post it again.

Do none of those people spouting about supporting their male working partner by doing all the donkey work which allows them to work late, entertain clients and play rounds of golf see that this facilitates this kind of male dominance at the top in the workplace and allows that kind of crap to define what a successful career person should look like. The world of work needs to be LESS like this, and more family friendly to allow women and men to succeed at work and out of work.

Headofthehive55 · 21/10/2017 23:41

The size of the wallet was not what I was measuring yellow! Grin

Aderyn17 · 21/10/2017 23:42

Sahp here. I don't want a nanny to be looking after my children. I want to do it. I don't view it as a sacrifice, although I acknowledge that sah does come with an element of sacrifice sometimes. So does woh for that matter. Swings and roundabouts innit?
I like my life. No need to feel sorry for me. I will continue to enjoy my life when my dc leave home. Being a sahm doesn't wholly define me, just as my job didn't.

Do I think I've contributed to my dh's progression at work? Yes I do. He would have done well without me, but he couldn't have achieved what he has and had the family we have, without my contribution to our lifestyle. It's all very well to say he could get a nanny but actually, although he has a good salary it isn't enough to pay for a live in nanny and a house big enough for her to live in. In return, he has enabled me to have our family and do what I want, which is to be with them ft.
I had a decent job, but I don't think it was more important than what I do now. I worked to facilitate my life - it wasn't that important to me beyond that. I certainly don't believe I have an obligation to woh for societies benefit and I suspect everybody who works does so for the money or their personal satisfaction.

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 23:43

It makes sense to mention your DH's income if you are a SAHM because that's what you're living off fgs! That is not the same as claiming you earn the bloody noney

This is totally illogical. The question was how much do you earn. Answering with your husbands salary is of course the same as claiming you earn it.,otherwise you would,say,”nothing, I do not have paid employment”. The questuon was not what are you livung off. It was what do you earn.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 21/10/2017 23:44

I didn’t say it’s right or fair that we consciously & unconsciously judge jobs
But we do,whether we admit it or not.we attribute cachet,status to jobs
So the high minded notion I’ll teach dc not to judge,well that’s naive. They’ll judge regardless.theyll learn it at school,& from other sources