to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

[Curiositykilledthecat113]

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

Im a SAMH. I am no lesser of a woman than any other.

WTAF has that got to do with anything on this thread?

"lesser of a woman" what does that mean any way? How can you be "lesser of a woman"? Either you are a woman or not? not an invitation to start trans talk

The whole point originally was about a SAHM boasting about/ claiming her husband's professional achievements as her own. Not being happy for his success. Not being appropriately proud of his achievements. But claiming them as her own.

SAHM or not, anyone who does this is showing their hand as deeply insecure about their life choices.

Also SoftDay

SoftDay Sun 22-Oct-17 03:21:59

Jesus, this thread has everything. . . Postman Pat giving a special delivery up against a tree.

Point of information: I think strictly Pat was receiving a gift of his own not delivering.

I did pretty much rtwt and what really strikes me is where are the men in all this? While the battle rages between the at home and working mums there never seems to be much discussion of what the guys are doing (except for all the travel and late nights at work). People can, and should, do whatever they want and live how they want without judgement but I do think it’s sad that we are still debating this in zero sum terms..... HE can only be that successful and WE can only have the lifestyle we do IF I stay at home or otherwise facilitate that. I think that says more about the world of work and out dated assumptions that still prevail in the work place.... balance is better.

Also I find it scary (and a bit patronising) that we only look at vulnerability from the perspective of the stay at home mum in terms of divorce or relationship breakdown. Clearly if that happens many can be left in a pretty tricky position... but that’s not the only shit life likes to throw at you. I’ve known a high flying career dad who lost his wife and was left with 2 very young children and no choice but to struggle through with nannies and cleaners etc, a SAHM who busted a gut getting back into the workforce and forging a career when her DH was diagnosed with a severe illness (meaning a couple of years of young children, disabled spouse and rebuilding a professional career). My DH has been outsourced, off shored, sold (not literally obvs ) loads of times - often it’s been fine and he walked away with a nice chunk of cash and others it’s been pretty hairy like when he had just a weeks notice they were relocating the project overseas, I was on mat leave and it was hieght of the crash when work wasn’t that forthcoming.... apart from the professional satisfaction of my own career I don’t think I’d like us as a family to be so dependent on one wage earner (no matter how highly paid...)

I'm pretty convinced this is a wind up but I suppose the best way to try to understand this is to reverse the question. Why would anyone if they could afford not to work, choose to miss out on the early years of their children's lives?

Taking care of children is work-- if a parent doesn't do it, then the parents have to pay someone else to do so for whom it is that person's career.

Its work just like any other work and some parents find caring for children the most fulfilling and rewarding work they can do. Some parents can't imagine anything worse and would rather pay someone else to look after their children while they do other work they prefer.

Both are valid choices and are entirely down to the individual and their personalities. There is no need to feel sorry for anyone who enjoys being a stay at home parent and I say this as a working mom. I wish it was possible to take a break in my career until my baby was primary school age without serious career consequences but in my line of work that's not possible.

Well said @LondonGirl83

I did exactly that Londongirl. And took the consequences and started retraining in my early 40s. Interestingly the increase in the retirement age has played very much in favour. I have ten years work ahead of me. At 57 25 years ago I would not have been considered for promotion.

This has been seen as a disadvantage for women but I really Don't think it is. It helps women to have it all.

In my line of work we see the downfall of many of these 'high flying' career men who were once global heads of international financial services companies but then they get to their fifties and become too expensive to keep (£400k salaries plus benefits) so they're aggressively managed out of the business or made redundant.

Many of these men then remain unemployed for several years because there are much fewer jobs at the top but they still have a wife to keep and school fees to pay.

This can happen to absolutely anyone.

What job or career is that then, that pays £400,000 a year? plus benefits @Teachesofpeaches

Polishing the horns of unicorns?

Other than people who are famous/celebrities, I can't imagine what job would pay that much.

Sun Front office financial services

Most top paying jobs in finance and the like (like you mention,) are barely a quarter of that!

A bonus can easily be half a million in a sales role if you're good and that's just at MD level.

What job or career is that then, that pays £400,000 a year?

Not working on a checkout, cleaning offices or minicabbing I'd guess. Still, if the blokes doing those jobs just had more supportive wives, I'm sure they'll be on 400k in no time!

It isn't 'work like any other work' though. It's parenting. And in most cases it was a concious choice to have children.

I think that's what gets some people object to. The SAHMs who say 'It's my job, I'm a full time cook/cleaner/nurse/chaffeur/nanny/teacher etc who never gets lunch breaks' it would cost X a year to get someone else to do it' when that's what every other Mother is doing anyway regardless.

I've seen that Teaches but most of them are smart enough to know it will happen. There are usually a couple of buy to lets on the side and the school fees are often paid Down by then. And the 2.5m house in West London funds a nice house in an M4 county.

This is where the Drs and lawyers have the edge.

The President of America doesn't get £400,000!

He gets around £300,000

And our PM gets £140,000.

Don't believe any normal career would pay £400,000 a year, plus bonuses, no matter how hard you work, or how high on the ladder you are.

What sort of jobs: bankers, CEOs, Finance Directors, university VCs, NHS CEOs, Accountants, magic circle partners, etc.

Sun Bringing in revenue for a bank can pay a lot and quite a few of the salespeople left school with a couple of O levels and worked their way up.

I used to do HR in a investment bank - there the traders/Head of Equities etc would be earning between £100k and £1M with annual bonus matching their salary. That was 20yrs ago.

They usually burned out before they were managed out aggressively though - wise people plan financially for the future and don't assume the high salary will last until retirement age.

I know a lot of people who gave up politics due to the salary limitations when they needed the money most. My DH fought one seat then his earnings cranked up.

However consultancies on the back benches are good and the appointments after being pm are lucrative.

Remember too the PM gets a house and can let their own whilst living there.

Most of those jobs listed would not pay £400,000 a year. ^

Most jobs don't pay that. Not normal jobs/careers.

Most of the ones listed would not even pay a third of that.

And it's misleading to say they do.

What's more, something like NHS CEO, is only ONE JOB. And that is £200,000 NOT £400,000.

Why do people make shit up?

People need to stop making out a £400,000 salary is normal because it isn't.

Anyway, I am glad this offensive thread is done

People need to stop making out a £400,000 salary is normal because it isn't. Anyway, I am glad this offensive thread is done

People need to stop making out a £400,000 salary is normal because it isn't. Anyway, I am glad this offensive thread is done

People need to stop making out a £400,000 salary is normal because it isn't. Anyway, I am glad this offensive thread is done