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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with DD1

264 replies

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 20:33

I'm trying extra hard with dd1 as she has been the only child in the family for 6y I've got a dd2 now 5m! I've been really happy and chirpy with her and making loads of effort to keep her involved and make sure she feels like I'm giving her the same amount of attention as the baby. it's half term.. I said we are going somewhere nice tomorrow(the zoo).. we've just been doing her homework together, I said if she puts her home work away and gets into bed I'll tell her where we're going.. she picked up her bag, looked at me dead in the eyes and said "but I didn't get my homework out" with a smug as fuck look on her face thinking I should put it away for her as I got it out of the bag. I felt rage build up and said "are you being serious?" a panicked look came across her face and I said "don't you DARE be rude to me" and walked away she's put herself to bed. I haven't gone back into the room I'm so angry! should I go back in or just leave her to fester and think about her rudeness?

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:05

so really the issue is the fact I said "smug as fuck" it's just a phrase. doesn't mean anything.

OP posts:
isitme88 · 19/10/2017 23:06

Not perfect mum by any means. But have you read your original post.... you do sound very angry. She made a cheeky comment she’d 6, 1 day before half term. She’s probably as tired as you. I think you did overreact. I’ve done it many times. But I never posted on a forum to see if I was unreasonable or not. I knew I was....

OpenThePickles · 19/10/2017 23:07

instead she kept going and stepped it up by raising her voice

She raised her voice on one word, so what? There's really no issue here.

Nicknacky · 19/10/2017 23:07

It isn't just a phrase ffs

GreatStar · 19/10/2017 23:07

Welcome to mumsnet, where women turn on each other, pretend they're perfect, throw insults around, and above else put two and two together and come up with 98989.

Butterymuffin · 19/10/2017 23:08

Though 'but I didn't get it out' wasn't "just a phrase", was it? It was incredibly rude, apparently. That meant something. From a 6 yo.

Nicknacky · 19/10/2017 23:09

Greatstar what are you talking about? We don't need to all agree just because most of us are women. I'm far from perfect but it is important to me that every night my kids go to bed content and assured that they are loved.

No one knows what a new day will bring. And I sure as fuck wouldn't react as the op did to a minor event.

Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:11

I've not told my daughter she looked "smug as fuck" have I. if you saw her face when she said it, she was well chuffed with herself that she had said said something rude. if I'd said she looked 'smug' that would probably have been okay wouldn't it?

OP posts:
GreatStar · 19/10/2017 23:12

Course we don't need to agree. But really, some of the OTT comments on this thread. Like OP you're horrible. You sound unhinged etc. And the judgement..... painful !

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 19/10/2017 23:13

She raised her voice on one word, so what?

Yes she did, after she had already seen that she had panicked her daughter. In the context of my previous post it is relevant.

Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:13

nicknacky

I don't think you read the part where I said I went in 5 minutes later hugged and kissed her goodnight and said I loved her... I do it every night and I check on her every night before I go to bed.

OP posts:
GreatStar · 19/10/2017 23:13

Nicknacky... kids going to bed content etc .... think the OP did just that tonight too as per update

Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:15

people have taken the word panic as if she was quivering in her bones. All she did was stop what she was doing and look at me. all I said was " are you serious? don't you dare be rude to me" you're all acting as if I just threw her down the stairs. bloody hell.

OP posts:
Crispyturtle · 19/10/2017 23:16

Why have you posted this in AIBU? You don’t seem in any doubt as to the reasonableness of your actions. So it just reads like you’re showing off, it’s quite weird.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 19/10/2017 23:16

So again, what did you post for? Because according to you (now) nothing happened.

GreatStar · 19/10/2017 23:17

Hope you've a great day at the zoo OP and that the rain stays off ..... It's bucketing here Shock

Nicknacky · 19/10/2017 23:17

Strangely you didn't mention that in you original post at 20.33 hours until your post over two hours later. Strange that.

QueenNefertitty · 19/10/2017 23:17

I don't think I'm a perfect mother- far from it. But the OP asked if she WBU and yes, from where I am, she was.

She reacted unreasonably harshly to something and nothing. And she described her child in a way that I found troubling and unreasonable.

I didn't make anything up or go on a "whirlwind adventure"; I responded to what the OP posted, and I shared what being exposed to similar sentiments the op was channelling in her post, had done to me when I was exposed to them by a parent as a small child.

OP- maybe you are a fab mum and this is just a poorly worded post. If so, hopefully this will inspire you to think about how powerful words CAN be, and how much impact they have the potential for,with your daughter.

Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:18

to be honest I actually have no idea now. it was a stupid idea. probably just to have a rant but mums brigade are in town to knock people down.

OP posts:
OpenThePickles · 19/10/2017 23:19

And I sure as fuck wouldn't react as the op did to a minor event

Just because you would accept rudeness from a child, it doesn't make you superior to the OP you know. She dealt with it her way, you deal with it your way.

LovingLola · 19/10/2017 23:19

I felt rage build up and said "are you being serious?" a panicked look came across her face and I said "don't you DARE be rude to me" and walked away she's put herself to bed. I haven't gone back into the room I'm so angry!

So what was all that about then??

GreatStar · 19/10/2017 23:19

Ach ffs peeps, she posted when feeling angry asking should she go into the child or leave her. By the time everyone stuck the boot in, the op had resolved it IRL. Perhaps because the little rant she had on here helped

Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:20

well yeah nicknacky because I don't live on my phone I put the baby to bed went and spoke to dd1 then did some tidying i wrote this then forgot about it actually

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 19/10/2017 23:22

open I don't accept rudeness from my children, far from it. But I don't make them feel the way the op's kid did. I discipline appropriately.

Original poster
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 19/10/2017 23:23

lovinglola that was me ranting I literally was fine and it was resolved within 5 minutes everyone's making out like I'm a monster lol! thanks Great star how you're describing it is basically what it is and what happened! it's over I shouldn't have posted. I get that. mistake noted.

OP posts:
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