Dh stressing about having been told wrong gender

[Shehz21]

More of a WWYD.
I had a private scan at 16w+5 and was told girl.
Since yesterday DH has been on Dr.google and saw how many cases there are of wrong genders being told before 20 weeks(even after the 20w scan in some cases!!).
I am very thankful for this baby and would be happy no matter whether its a boy or girl as long as its healthy but DH wants to pay for another scan now at 18w to reconfirm baby gender. It is annoying him so much that I feel like complying with him and going for the scan but its £59!!!
Is it worth it to go just for his peace of mind or wait 2 weeks until NHS scan?

You (and your DH and MIL) don’t need to know the sex of the baby. It will be a boy or girl - you all will love and bond with him/her. Have a list of boys and girls names. The nursery is the spare room with a cot and wardrobe- any decoration is suitable for a baby of either sex. Buy baby clothes - it doesn’t matter what colors they are. I had b/g twins - I didn’t check which was wearing white, pink, blue, yellow, red etc - they just wore babygros for the first six months and then leggings and a T-shirt/sweater.

I can kind of sympathise with him. I got a bit weird too at that stage and paid for a private scan just to make sure.

It's a much better quality scan. I saw my little baby sucking her thumb and I could even see that she had my profile.

Put his mind at rest for a peaceful life. Dads get a bit funny when expecting a baby too. Believe it or not they also experience hormone changes, not to the same extent we do, but they do.

I would imagine MIL's ideas about gender will have an influence on a boy child too. Gender stereotypes affect boys too.

Absolutely. Hence me saying it's harmful to the future development and prospects of both.

How are scans dangerous tittygolightly?

What unhelpful and irresponsible bollocks.

Way to make pregnant women feel like shit. Go you.

Someone has already linked to an article about the potential risks of too many scans.

The NHS says:

"However, there are some unconfirmed reports that ultrasound could affect the developing nervous system, potentially affecting what would be the child’s natural handedness (whether they are right or left handed)."

I'm a leftie, so know that while this can pose some issues through life it's not something I'd actively want to avoid. But if frequent scans can do that, what else might they do? Is it really worth it?

My sister's mother-in-law used to go on about how much she liked boys, preferred boys etc. My sister was so pleased she could tell her she was having a girl. Now mother-in-law refers to her Granddaughter as "the girl she never had"!

Titty - very good point! Personally that's why I didn't go for a 3D/private scan with my third child even though I had done it with the first two. I didn't refuse any NHS scan mind you, just thought I wouldn't add to it :)

Sounds like he’s gutted it isn’t a boy and is clinging onto hope that they might be wrong? I’d be disgusted!!!!

If I was op I wouldn't be pandering to any of her husband or MiL's rubbish, and absolutely not paying for extra scans. Stand up to them instead.

But I think it's bloody irresponsible when people bandy stuff around like "scans can affect the baby" when there is no link to any harm. Except possible left handedness.

Like lots of women I had to be scanned repeatedly throughout my pregnancy for medical reasons, having had miscarriages including a very late one, and other issues. Sanctimonious scaremongering is so unhelpful. Why do sone people have such need to make other women feel like shit?

Can we stop with the 'too many scans are harmful' stuff please? Some of us had to have multiple scans because of pregnancy complications and it's not acceptable to frighten other women because of one batshit MIL.

EXACTLY! Well said

It's completely different if they're medically indicated FFS! Having a scan every fortnight just because you can is totally ridiculous!

There are huge differences in needing additional scans on medical advice, as oppose to wanting them so that you can decide whether to buy pink or blue.

I don’t think anyone should have a scan unless the doctor has said that it is needed to check growth, potential problems etc

Personally I'd go to the next NHS scan and tell them right at the start that you don't want to know the sex of the baby.

If people need multiple scans due to actual medical needs it is fine. I had several with dd. But the point is this isn't medical, it's ... I don't know, vanity, curiosity.

The sex of the baby is not one of your worries, your MIL in your only worry here, and you and your dh working together to block her negative energy!

There is always a chance the scan is wrong. I didnt want to know but took put in a trial where they scanned me in labour and I was told girl. We had a girl's, Deanna, but not a boy's name. When I was told girl, I thought that's a relief we have a name. Half an hour later I delivered my baby and my Mum saw him first "ah a little Fred (DH name)" to which I replied "you can't call a girl Fred!!" 😂 I have now four healthy Fred's 🤣

DH sounds as if he is in a bit of an anxiety "fog" which will only be made worse by having a go at him as some PPs have suggested.

Help him stand up to manipulative MIL and keep solid as a unit.

Try not to allow this all to spoil this special time and hope all goes well with the baby!

There are loads of cases of the gender scan being wrong, even after 20w. Your husband needs to get a grip!

Does your partner have an issue with baby girl? Seems awfully like it. Is there perhaps a health reason he is concerned about that perhaps if a boy could be passed on. A bit unreasonable to want another scan. By the way £59 seems cheap to me.

The thing is, as previous posters have said, these scans aren't 100% certain. When my mum was pregnant with me she was told she was having a boy at her scans. She even wrote out all of her Christmas cards (I'm a late November baby) from the family with my boy name on it. And then out popped a baby girl. I think she was more annoyed about having to rewrite the Christmas cards...