Surestart sexism

[LeCroissant]

I just got this sent to me by email from Surestart (identifying details blocked out).

When I was at surestart with my kids, a few years ago now, most sessions were, of course, attended by women. Chairs were deliberately kept sparse in order to force mothers to stand up and play with their children. No hot drinks were allowed. No unhealthy food was allowed. At all times we were to demonstrate what good parents we were by never taking our eyes off the children, no matter how tired we were. I once had to go home from the local surestart centre because the two chairs that were available were taken I had nowhere to sit to feed my newborn.

And yet, for the men's session (run at the weekend of course, because we know that men work during the week and women don't) there's coffee, bacon sandwiches and fucking newspapers!!! AIBU to think this is fucking ridiculous?

I had it out with the head of my local surestart centre at one point and he just sighed and said there was nothing he could do about the lack of chairs and hot drinks. But clearly, when there's men involved, no 'policy' is necessary!!!

So you know the answer to your own question then. Great. I won’t need to manspain it to you then.

I honestly don't know what you're on about NewDaddie. You don't seem to understand the thread.

I’m gonna assume they did a bit of market research first and the dads told them they wanted bacon butties

Maybe they did Cherry but if that's the case I'm sure mothers would say they'd like bacon butties, or even a cup of tea, or even a fucking chair to sit on.

I have never ever seen any government-run children's session aimed at women that talked about food and drink and 'intellectual chat'

Notice that there is zero mention of what's there for the children (presumably because men don't need to worry about that sort of thing/don't care about that sort of thing?)

It is sexist and annoying. But I would view it that they are trying to bribe men with bacon sarnies to get them to come and bring the kids giving Mum a break?

You just identify as a man (finally, an upside!) and go to the weekend ones with some other Mums and check it out.

I love the Surestart centres but I have never been offered a bacon sarnie or newspapers at the usually female dominated sessions! Can see what they are trying to do but they should definitely be offering the same perks at a similar session for women too - especially because many women are the breadwinners now and working through the week

Off topic I know but what's a cob?
Do they mean a roll?
I would so turn up and claim to identify as a man that day

But women shouldn't need perks guinea! Women who don't engage with their children are lazy, terrible parents!

Yeah cob is Nottinghamshirean for roll.

Ours does loads of stuff specifically for male carers and their kids. But I do live in an area without many bio dads hanging around...

I agree op, that is my experience of Surestart preschool groups, nowhere to sit, more stressed than at home, my toddler being forced to take part in storytime despite him wanting to play. I stopped going once, my child turned 3 and went to pre school. I am not sure about dads groups at Surestart as I have been out of the loop for years, but if dads are being treated better than mums (chairs provided, drinks, snacks for dads) than that is very unfair, you need to put in a complaint.

Just identify as a man and pop along.

Oh yes!

I would identify as a man and go along but I don't think my ladybrain would be up to the 'intellectual chat' :(

That’s bollocks.

Link probably won’t work as I’m on my phone but it does make me think of The stoning scene in Life of Brian

Pop your fake beard on and away you go!

"I have never ever seen any government-run children's session aimed at women that talked about food and drink and 'intellectual chat'"

The Surestart home workers have to identify what is wanted by their users and try to get people in.

Our local Surestart (attended by my GD) offers contestant food, to go with whatever course they have got on. The BF one, provided breakfast pastries, after that was voted for.

The one that my team was connected to had unlimited tea/coffee/juice and biscuits/fruit. Other types of food was available depending on the time of day/event.

The problem is that they have to justify their spending.

However it could be completely different than when you went three years ago.

Depending on the session, the children should be being played with, that was the point of the sessions.

Oh, and the sessions of a weekend aren't just because of possible working hours, but contact arrangements, as well.

'Depending on the session, the children should be being played with, that was the point of the sessions.'

So why are they offering the dads newspapers then?

16 years ago it was all orange squash,biscuits and white toast with jam and if you were really lucky then there were Quality Streets too. Hot drinks aplenty too.

Then it all changed

Christ alive, mums sat down reading stuff and not being full on performance parents with their kids in our local children’s centre is not only impossible due to the lack of anything other than baby leaflets and chairs but would get noted down on a form as a possible safeguarding concern

And no hot drinks or food allowed in the room.

There are two toddler groups I go to (not sure start) that both do a dad's group on a Saturday and both offer bacon rolls and have things like football tables out when I go we just get biscuits. I'd bloody love a bacon roll.

Well we can't expect men to just do boring women's work can we foxes, we have to make sure they're having fun too, after all they're the important people!