Surestart sexism

[LeCroissant]

I just got this sent to me by email from Surestart (identifying details blocked out).

When I was at surestart with my kids, a few years ago now, most sessions were, of course, attended by women. Chairs were deliberately kept sparse in order to force mothers to stand up and play with their children. No hot drinks were allowed. No unhealthy food was allowed. At all times we were to demonstrate what good parents we were by never taking our eyes off the children, no matter how tired we were. I once had to go home from the local surestart centre because the two chairs that were available were taken I had nowhere to sit to feed my newborn.

And yet, for the men's session (run at the weekend of course, because we know that men work during the week and women don't) there's coffee, bacon sandwiches and fucking newspapers!!! AIBU to think this is fucking ridiculous?

I'm confused.

There isn't a medical need that tops a whole group of women's comfort.

I have a BF support group on next week, DH will be taking me to help carry DS's monitors and big tank. He wouldn't stop in the room, if a man was staying I would think either he was a pervert or didn't want his partner out his sight, speaking to professionals.

learn to read. there were no vulnerable women there

Just FYI, if I was feeling vulnerable with a newborn at a group at which someone like NewDaddie was present, I wouldn't have stated my vulnerabilities, I'd just have left.

Exactly. The reason women need the safe spaces is to build up the courage to talk about their issues.

You don't know who's vulnerable and who's not.

You don't get a bloody sticker.

If he was on a parenting program aimed at struggling parents which is the only session/workshop/group staffed by HCP’s that the children’s centres are allowed to run and the only sessions that are allowed to offer any instruction what so ever regarding using bottles for feeding. (Unless he’s in a pilot area for the teenage parent early intervention specialist groups)

Then he’s being a goady fucker he wasn’t on a breast feeding group he wasn’t refered for a tongue tie.

He was refered most likely by a HV most probably because she has to to avoid social care intervention. That’s what those groups are for.

socks is that true for any HCP referral or just when it's a HV?

I was at my session based on our medical need.

If you had to sit with your back to the centre of the room and absent yourself for some of the session, it was not a group designed for your medical need. Any man with a tiny bit of cop on would have realised this and left. But not you Newdaddie, being unwanted in female spaces is your thing.

Midwives can refer as well as can any other child related professional you can also self refer but in many areas none professional referral places are like gold dust (they are fantastic courses)

Of course if he’s talking about a workshop held at a health centre then it’s neither that nor a peer supporter group

My children's school does a regular dad's breakfast. Lovely free fry up by all accounts. They have a guest speaker and then their children join them (missing lessons) to play games.

Don't think I've ever been offered anything free - any food and drink consumed by mums is part of a fundraiser.

Bloody hell, walkingtheplank - have you pointed out to the school how shitty and sexist this is?

It's like no good deed is left unpunished. Women do most of the parenting so are left to get on with it, whereas the slightest interest in their own children from men is rewarded.

Only just seen your reply. I'd love to point it out to the school but I'm sure it would be me who came out of it badly.

It's all very smug - "aren't we great guys for caring for our kids". I'm not sure it sends out a great message to the kids whose fathers can't or won't make it.