Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
usernameavailable · 19/10/2017 16:21

I think you are very kind in honouring an up do! I hope when F1 comes to speak to you she will be v v apolgetic and/or even offer to contribute a payment towards your time

InvisibleKittenAttack · 19/10/2017 16:24

I would give her a chance to say sorry.

If she starts giving you shit about it, point out this is entirely of her own making, to the extent she was given chances by F2 and F3 to sort it out between them, but she oped for leaving it to you to sort out, so you did.

Yes she's been embarassed and humiliated, but that was because she didn't take the chance to fix it when she had the option.

CruCru · 19/10/2017 16:24

Honestly? I'd probably not see her. She isn't going to say sorry - she is going to blame the OP for embarrassing her in front of the HT and the Chair of the PTA. I think you can reasonably avoid her for a little while.

magoria · 19/10/2017 16:29

You are such a nice person to have for a friend.

When can I pop in for a cut? Grin

BowAndArrow · 19/10/2017 16:33

Goodness me, the cheek of her!! Glad it's been sorted!

Butterymuffin · 19/10/2017 16:33

I would give her a chance to say sorry.

I wouldn't bother. She won't.

StaplesCorner · 19/10/2017 16:37

Hopefully she will realise she was a twat and apologise - oh, um, alright then, if that's what you think ... Hmm !!

Hushabyelullaby · 19/10/2017 16:37

I'm pleased that it's been sorted out, although my flabber was well and truly gasted at F1....CF indeed. I hope you get an apology, although I wouldn't be surprised if she gets out of it and shifts the blame on to you!

MintyChops · 19/10/2017 16:38

Are you going to give her a chance to apologise try to make it all your fault?

Hushabyelullaby · 19/10/2017 16:40

That should read, tries to get out of it by trying to shift the blame on to you

Gemini69 · 19/10/2017 16:41

good grief... Flowers

StealthPolarBear · 19/10/2017 16:45

We'll need a new thread soon

FrancisCrawford · 19/10/2017 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 19/10/2017 16:46

Personally, I'd see her.

Whatever her reaction is now, you'll have her number once and for all.

She'll either have seen the error of her ways, rock up with heartfelt apologies, etc...

Or she'll be an utter benk, which will show you once and for all what she's really like.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 19/10/2017 16:52

I finish later than normal tonight so she is meeting me at the salon. Ill start a new thread and post the link in a minute.

OP posts:
Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 19/10/2017 16:54

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3064545-Hairzilla

Hoping the link works.

OP posts:
PeterGriffinsPenisBeaker · 19/10/2017 16:54

What an arsehole. I fundraise for local charities and this is so bang out of order. Good luck ok!

diddl · 19/10/2017 17:29

"Hopefully she will realise she was a twat and apologise."

I would have thought that she'd have had plenty of time already.

If shed's been spoken to she probably wants to moan about that, or she's not happy about Op only now doing an "updo" & will try to convonce her to do what it says on the flyers.

jayne1976 · 19/10/2017 17:30

Think you need to tell her that her text asking if you minded donating such an item didn't reach you and with Christmas coming up you'll will be too full to honour it

Jeepy · 19/10/2017 17:35

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

It won't cost you £45, it will cost you or your staff some time. For damage limitation, perhaps make caveats that the deal is for a single colour rather than a full head of foils? If the flyers have gone out, it will leave you looking peevish and mean to protest, and cost the innocent party, the school, a lot of hassle.

If it goes well, you may convert the winner into a client. A lot of winners in these things don't actually take up their prize.

user1496604670 · 19/10/2017 17:37

Has this 'gone public' yet? If so, simply pulling out could damage your business by more than £30-45. So I think you need to be a bit more strategic about how you deal with this.

I think you should call F1 and explain to her in no uncertain terms that she is out of order. She needs to understand that philanthropy is a choice and is not something that should be forced upon people. I would tell her that you will honor the contribution, because if you don't it could harm your business, but demand that she immediately pay you £45. Tell her that, if she refuses, you will have no choice but to take the matter to the school. If she delays, and offers to pay you at a later date, tell her that is not an option.

If this has not yet 'gone public', I'd be inclined to go with zzzzz's response and leave it to the school to sort out.

Drivingmenuts · 19/10/2017 17:40

Very cheeky of her but terrible publicity for you if its retracted - nobody will be interested in the back story, they will just see it as retracted

So I would enjoy the positive publicity, but ask your friend to pay you for it privately as you didn't agree to it

x

BitOfANameChange · 19/10/2017 17:42

OP, this friend has now proven herself to be a liar, so I'd be wary in future.

treaclesoda · 19/10/2017 17:43

I don't see how it's terrible publicity. If someone turns up with a fake voucher, then presumably fraud has been committed. And if the OP doesn't give out a voucher in the first place then no one can turn up with a valid voucher.

One way or the other, she is in the clear.

The sort of customer who kicks off about not being able to use a fraudulent voucher wouldn't be a customer you'd want anyway.

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 19/10/2017 18:00

You could leave it as it is and hopefully get some good publicity out of it. The person who gets the colour and cut may become a regular customer. It would not look good to kick up a fuss - just see it as a contribution to the local community and turn it into a positive.

Swipe left for the next trending thread