How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

Good for you bit but as OPs only available contact with the organisation/s providing the misrepresentation was via a written platform, face to face wasn't possible.

It's not hysteria to point out that offering a prize in a raffle that doesn't exist is in breach of competition/gambling laws. I know, I've had to deal with it in many a time in professional life. First thing as advised by legal teams, get the objection in writing first regardless of how you proceed later. This could have been very serious for the PTA, the ramifications of which go way beyond cheeky fuckery. The PTA has some learning to do.

We need a CF thread. They are my fave! And well done OP - fist bump -

@BitOutOFPractice - sincere apologies - I had missed your other comments and was just replying to the one I had seen. D+ - must do better, SDTG!

Wrt the bold thing, it is just one asterisk at the beginning and end of the paragraph/sentence, not two.

oh OP - remember if CF gets all upset that you went to the head of PTA without giving her the chance to sort it out, remember that you did, that F2 & 3 found a solution that only would cost F1 £15 to save face.

She declined because she thought you had no choice. She knew if she just refused to pay up, you'd have to offer a prize of some sort for free to save your salon rep. She didn't really consider that you would still give a prize, but in a way that meant she lost face with the rest of the PTA.

This is perfect. You are being super reasonable by now offering a prize to 'fix' the PTA's problem, there's no fault with you as far as the rest of the PTA are concerned. Tis fabulous solution!

Oh and while you are in a way technically obsolving F1 of guilt talking bout a 'mix up' - the head of the PTA will know. Everyone will know that they are saying mix up to avoid pointing fingers, while knowing who's at fault.

willow your suggestion Or do damage limitation and offer something else more reasonable at a time that suits her? .. Op has done exactly that. While making a point to CF friend that she's not a free for all and what she did was bang out of order. CF is an adult and pussyfooting around her won't change her incredibly selfish and arrogant attitude.

oh and I love a CF thread, because I've spent a lot of my life being a push over and letting others treat me like a mug. I grew a back bone a few years ago and I love encouraging others to do the same!

Hashi face to face / telephone would’ve been possible. She could’ve rung the school first thing. A fb message last night wasn’t necessary. And, being as you’re asking for professionalism, very professional either.

SDGT no problem. It did look a bit suss.

Schardenfreude it’s happening when I use the bold button on the app. And I know it’s a single asterisk on the desktop version. I use it every day. It’s only just started happening. I’ve started a thread on site stuff but it seems like I’m alone a bit like on this thread

Hello Bit!

The HT has emailed back and said she will forward it over to PTA lady.

Spoke to PTA lady, she was extremley embarrassed that F1 did this. PTA lady was under the impression F1 had asked my permission because on one meeting she suggested my company might offer a service, on the second meeting confirmed that I had OK'd a service which would be a CC!
She understood if I completley wanted to pull my donation, but was grateful that I was willing to donate an updo as a goodwill gesture.

PTA said she will be having stern words with F1, I explained that wasnt necessary and F1 can be a bit ditzy at times so probably in the heat of the moment and excitement forgot to inform me.

I have just messaged F1 and let her know what has happened. Ive placed the ball back in her court.

Raven
I know I was replying to a poster who thought that op had over reacted and had now caused a 'shit storm'.

on the second meeting confirmed that I had OK'd a service which would be a CC!

!!!

Speechless!

Good for you OP re: PTA having a word with the "friend", very magnanimous of you.

OP, what was your friendship like before this?

I agree with bit that I would have approached this differently but then friendships are different and I know no friends who would have done done this without asking first anyway. (So far).

So I'm just curious.

Please update if/when the "friend" replies.

Whoops, my bad Willow many apologies! That’s what I get for reading in a hurry reading at work while I’m skiving

So the op shouldn't have involved the head but should have rung the school? A complaint which would have landed right on the head's desk.

Many businesses operate solely over FB or at least have a social media presence, which means private social media contact is an acceptable method of professional communication nowadays. There was a time when email wasn't deemed as appropriate, letter writing preferred. The world moves on.

KungFu

That was way past generous of you.

I hope PTA chair does have a word with her otherwise they will not be able to trust her word on anything in the future.

Cant wait to hear what CF1 thinks! I am sure she will continue to ignore her CFeryness and see nothing wrong with what she did and everything wrong with you. Dont take any shit from her.

I would be telling F1 that you did not agree to that, you are hurt and upset that she volunteered this without consulting you first. It is not the school my children go to, so I would not be volunteering such a thing. Cheeky fecker alert.

Raven no problem

The end

Well done op, I am glad you e mailed the HT and PTA and they are aware. That was unacceptable of F1 to do that, and it will also have a bad vibe in the PTA for her. Be prepared for the friendship to change or her to drop you.

Speechless at the confirmation in the second meeting!! Oh the cheeky fucker-ery of it all!

I just hope that this gets through to her now what she has done. Good result op. I hope she apologies to you...

Very magnanimous of you kungfu
Especially after hearing she did that over two meetings

Bloody hell, you're a good friend op! I don't think I would have been quite so forgiving in your convo with the PTA! Good for you

2 always been a good friendship. At times she might have acted what others on here would deem cheeky. Like rocking up last minute before the salon closes for a quick W&B/Updo and paid mates rates or nothing. But i was ok with that because like I said further up they all pay it back in a round about way.
Im that much of a softy I would have done the CC if she had been like " sorry kung. Should have said. Can you please still do it dont want too let the PTA down" kind of thing.