To leave my DD1 (aged 8, year 4, while I chauffeur DD2 to Rainbows?

[Mittens1969]

A bit of background. I take both DDs in the car when it’s time for DD2 (5) to go to Rainbows. DD1 has said a few times that she’d like to stay at home whilst I take DD2 in the car. WIBU to leave her at home? I’m out of the house for 15/20 minutes at the most.

I haven’t done it yet, but I’m wondering if she’s old enough to be left at home alone if she hasn’t finished her tea or is watching a TV programme that she doesn’t want to miss?

I suppose it’s more of a WWYD, for those of you who have a child of a similar age?

I have a daughter the same age and have left her before for that length of time. Like others have said we've discussed going to a neighbour's for help, what to do in a fire etc and she's not allowed to eat anything (she choked when younger). I always make sure she knows what time I left and when to expect me back and she knows to go to a neighbour if I'm a certain time outside that. I think it very much depends on the child, their maturity and what you think they'll attempt while you're gone.

My 8 year old asks to be left alone sometimes but I would never do it. She is quite an anxious child and often worries if she thinks I am in one room but then finds I'm not, so I don't fancy her chances jome alone to be honest!
Depends on the child but I agree 8 is a little young

I personally couldn't, if you can't face the consequences of something going wrong just DON'T. Your decision

Nah eight too young. I only this year started leaving 12 year old alone for short periods of time

I think she's a bit young to be left that long, sorry.

12??

Crikey.

Definitely not! It's also illegal

Actually its not. But I can see why you might think that with so much misinformation out there. It may surprise you to know there is no lower age limit at all.

I left both my children for short periods of time when they were in Year 4, if I was dropping the one off somewhere and the other didn’t want to come. They had instructions not to answer the door or house phone, not to play on the trampoline or go in the swimming pool and not to make themselves any hot food or drinks. They always had their iPods with them and could FaceTime me if they wanted to and I usually FaceTimed them to check everything was ok when I’d done the drop off, before driving back. They were (and still are) very sensible and trustworthy and I never worried about leaving them.

Maybe I’m a little too cautious. Imagine all the creeps that knock on the door “selling windows” asking are your parents home?
A fire
A break in
Inviting friends round on social media announcing mums out she just took my little sister for a swimming lesson etc
Suppose it’s not just how much you trust them it’s other people aswell

Sensible kid? Safe area? Nice neighbours nearby? Then perhaps.

I was left at that age and all was fine. My lovely neighbour was normally at home, more family friends two doors up, and I could also have rung my grandparents if necessary. Not all kids would be though.

Sorry, I wasn't criticising, just suprised. I live in a pretty safe area, my 9yo knows not to answer the door, knows to leave the house and go to a neighbour if the fire alarm goes off etc.

I'll need to be able to trust him to come home from school and be on his own for a bit once he's in secondary, so maybe I'm starting him off early. It does make me a little anxious, but he's generally a sensible kid.

Too young - you're ok if nothing goes wrong, but would be prosecuted if it did. She's too little to cope with major emergencies, and you'd be deemed to have neglected her. Social Work would be down on you like a ton of bricks.

Yeah I did the same with her she walked to and from school by herself in year 6 ready for secondary but I never really have to leave her alone cos her nan lives round corner n she’d rather go to hers when I’m not in to have a delicious meal. So the leaving her alone at home has never really been an issue. Although when I take little one swimming she gets bored now. So she asked if she can stay home.

I was really just asking the question, as DD1 has asked if she can stay and continue playing with the iPad. But as I said in a previous post I will wait until she’s 9 and then consider it again.

a1poshpaws

I agree. Some situations probably won’t but could occur I always think would my child handle it. And yes social would be on the case if it went wrong. I always keep that in mind too

I’ve left my seven and a half year old DS alone for ten minutes when he’s been in his pjs and I’ve had to nip to the shop for something. I could’ve gone to the effort of uprooting him and getting him changed but it seemed pointless. He was absolutely fine. He knows how to call me from the iPad if he needs to and he latched the door and I have a special knock. He’s my sensible child so I trust him. I would, however, definitely never leave my five and six year old alone even probably at his age! They’d likely end up selling my electricals to the nearest bidder .

It depends completely on the child. I was left alone from about 7/8 for small periods of time then by ten I was trusted to stay alone for an hour or two. I just sat and read or played video games.

Hum I do wonder if we are all a bit to over protective in this day and age.

It's not illegal and you wouldn't be prosecuted. Not unless you'd intended to leave your child alone for an extended period of time.

Maybe I have a slightly more relaxed approach, after all until recently this was a 3 tear schooling system. With children still now being allowed to walk home on their own in year 4. It's almost expected in years 5&6. Which is why I've been happy to leave DD since she was 9 for around 20 minutes. She has our phone numbers and has had the safety talk more then once.

I leave my very sensible 6 year old in the house while I do short trips. I. E. End of the road for a loaf of bread or pop to collect son from school (5 mins drive). She would never do anything other than watch TV and can get out of the house if there was a fire. She also knows lots of our neighbours should anything completey unexpected happen. I have mentally done a full risk assessment and feel that for her the risk of serious harm is absolutely minimal. Her older brother who is 8 would not be left alone as he cannot be relied on to stay in front of the telly for 15 mins.

I am pretty sure it isn't illegal! That seems a bit over the top! And I imagine she will be going on the bus to school with friends by the time she is 9

I wouldn't, not because I think there is anything wrong with it (depending on the child obviously) My DD is 8 in a month and I'd confidently leave her for short times as she is super sensible and responsible but I'd never dare due to the opinions of others!

Some odd opinions on here. Not leaving a 12-year-old? FFS! How is a child supposed to learn independence if they are not given the chance? It is your job to foster independence and prepare them accordingly.

Every child is different, but I wouldn't leave my eight year old. There's a difficult balance as they get older; giving them some freedom whilst ensuring they're safe. We had a fire a couple of years ago when my husband and son were home. I had popped to the shop five minutes away and was out of the house for approx seven minutes when my neighbor called to say my house was on fire. I ran home and two fire engines were already there - all in the space of about 10 minutes. I don't think my eight year old would know what to do in emergencies like that, even though he's been in one. Another time we got broken into, as brick flung through the glass back door.

MsJudgemental

Hey I never said I didn’t leave her. And I see where your name comes from. If you knew me you’d know that I have my reasons for being a bit over protective but yet again on the other hand I don’t think I have the risk of social being on my back if something went wrong.
And BTW isn’t it obvious OP that asking approval from other parents means your not too sure yet. If in doubt don’t. It shouldn’t be about what we think on this one only you know your child and situation

I've just started leaving my 9 yr olds for that sort of journey. If you think about everything that could go wrong of course you'll scare yourself into never leaving them, but as PPs have said, they have to develop some independence at some point. I was allowed to go off with my friends all day long from 9/10 ish and we didn't have mobiles etc - just had to back before dark! I know traffic is worse these days but if they have the safety talks etc then surely they should be allowed to be left at home. Up to parents - they know their own children.

Too young - you're ok if nothing goes wrong, but would be prosecuted if it did. She's too little to cope with major emergencies, and you'd be deemed to have neglected her. Social Work would be down on you like a ton of bricks.

What a load of nonsense... I'd like to know when SS have ever been concerned about leaving an 8 yo for a few minutes. They deal with genuine neglect.

And in the incredibly unlikely case of an accident, it would be treated as an accident! Behaviour doesn't suddenly become neglect when something bad happens!